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Published: February 19th 2008
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Private Beach
A mile walk beyond the ferry docks leads to a stretch of isolated beach between downtown Playa del Carmen and all-inclusive resorts. 1. Contact cases are the new toothbrush. When you're packing and ask yourself if you forgot anything, your first thought is "toothbrush." That instinct paired with my oral hygiene OCD led to having two toothbrushes but somehow not remembering one of my many contact cases or bottles of saline. Sounds easy enough to fix, but everyone in Mexico must have 20/20 vision because none of the pharmacies or stores I went to had a contact case. If you end up in a similar situation, just give up and use an air tight substitute, like an empty film holder or earplug case (they had plenty of those to drown out the dogs howling at night).
2. Make sure you book reservations online if you're going to Cancun, otherwise you will need to bring anal lubricant to check in. Usually I'm not one to haggle about prices, but it was off-season in a very marginal hotel and one night was only supposed to be $39, but somehow we ended up paying $72. Although I tried to explain to the concierge that I fully understood we were getting screwed, I was no match for his conveniently selective language barrier.
3. If
Death Cab for Cutie
The Mexican rental bug: terrifying drivers since 1972. you're traveling abroad and only one of the people going with you speaks the native language, make sure it's not the same person who "feels stupid" about putting it to use by, say, asking for directions. Unfortunately, my proficiency in Latin was no help at all.
4. Sunscreen is exponentially more worthless the closer you get to the equator. I applied 48 SPF as a base coat every day, frequently reapplying with 30 and 15, but still got a painful sunburn that has resulted in the flaking away of my soon to be ex-tan.
5. Don't ever, everevereverever, tightly plan your schedule around a meal. While the wait staff might quickly take your order and get your drinks/food to you, you won't be able to leave until you flag someone down to ask for the check, and even after that you can expect another 20+ minutes for it to be delivered. Although competition was fierce, the Wait Time Winner was La Bodeguita, the Cuban restaurant where our waiter disappeared for 45 minutes+ after taking our plates away. I kept myself entertained by alternating attention between the World's Hugest Cockroach that was sharing the patio with us and the
Breakfast of Champions
Las Mananitas served up strawberry jam and salsa like it was going out of style - I would highly recommend the extra a.m. calories to anyone. boa constrictor around the corner.
6. My travel companion was a terrific sport with what turned out to be an equally terrific immune system, while I suffered every affliction one can have: a sore throat, injured eyeballs, charred skin, vomiting (not because of alcohol), and, yes, Montezuma wreaked revenge. I still could have dealt with all that, but I also got a cold, which meant I couldn't taste anything for half the trip, so I begrudgingly resorted to cheapie McDonald's instead. Cajita Feliz = Happy Meal. Moral: eat, drink, breathe and inject Airborn immune boosters the week preceding and days during your trip.
7. ATMs down there aren't exactly of the best quality, nor do they have crack security. After my travel companion was short-changed 800 pesos ($80) due to a malfunction, I got down on the ground to peer into the money dispenser and assess the problem, which turned out to be a simple paper/money jam. Since I could fit my hand in the machine, I reached in, flipped up the glass tray, and fished out his money + an extra 200 pesos. All this while a store employee looked at me with interest but not concern.
Isla Mujeres
Don't even remember what this bar was peddling - I only know its color palate was phenomenal. 8. When you're renting a car, be sure to spring for full coverage - this will exempt you from everything but death, which is always imminent when you're putzing down a Mexican highway in a tin can with wheels. Also, since the cheapest rentals are old school and stick shift, make sure you know how to shift into reverse, otherwise you will end up like me; waiting for one of the numerous Death Cabs to help you out of the ditch you rolled into while trying to make a 3-point turn on a narrow backroad.
9. While Playa del Carmen visitors are, for the most part, laid-back people in their 20's through 50's, our last day there was marred by an infestation of recent high school graduates and what would appear to be some of their younger freshman/sophomore counterparts (15 years old, tops). Their destination? Senor Frogs, of course! Even though no bars carded as far as I could tell, they flocked to this underage tourist trap so they could drink souvenir yards and dance to their special requests for Lil' John and Usher. I don't know what was more aggravating: watching teenage girls in bikinis and sideways trucker caps giggle and dance on each other for the benefit of men young and old alike, or watching guys with purposely stupid sleepy grins and disheveled hair stumble around exchanging the exaggerated and half-laughed "dude - I'm so wasted!"
10. Packing for a foreign country: do it well, minimally, space efficiently, and don't bring anything that could be potentially embarrassing, because (much to my flushed surprise) Mexican custom officials will indiscreetly go through your luggage at the airport check-in. With my piss-poor packing job sprawled open for the world to see, customs poked their latex-gloved hands through ALL of my things - both clean and dirty. Thankfully, I did not have leopard underwear with matching leopard luggage like the woman across from me.
11. The funniest and most frustrating event of the trip was dealing with customs on our flight got back to the U.S.: of the seven employees roaming the area, two were qualified to check people's passports/visas, only one of whom was doing so (the other was "supervising"). This didn't present as big an issue as the fact that several women had a problem with their proofs of citizenship, which resulted in about 45 minutes more worth of hold-ups. If we were driving ourselves home this would be tolerable, but we definitely weren't, and not only will customs NOT let you use your cell phone to call your ride, they also won't let you use the pay phone. Not surprisingly, they also won't let you use your cameras, lest their inefficiency be documented.
12. We came thisclose to rescheduling our vacation because the forecast predicted thunderstorms for about 80 percent of the trip, but there wasn't so much as a rain cloud while we were there. Yet another confirmation that weather people aren't to be trusted. Ever.
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Ali
Ali Watters
Just read both your blogs
Really funny - hope there are more!