An end to 2015 and a new year in the Great White North!

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It's been quite awhile since I've found time to post, and so much has happened. 2015...wow just thinking about it makes me sigh. 2015 was one of the most difficult years of my life! It definitely wasn't all bad, but collectively, it was a pretty tough one. I know..2015 has been over for a little while since it's already mid-February in 2016, but even now, I'm still recovering from the year of chaos.

The year started well with a nice night out dancing for new years, but shortly after led to me heading back to East Lansing earlier than normal. The next few months were just a blur of teaching, data analysis, and non-stop writing. The timer had started for my intended defense date. Also thrown in there were numerous job applications and interviews, overseeing a student project in the lab, and a teaching-as-research project that I was running all while trying to finish my dissertation and meet an April deadline. It quickly became clear that April wasn't going to work. So the date was pushed to June...June 12th.

After feeling pretty burnt out, I packed up the dog and took off to Muskegon for a few days during spring break to recharge. Even then though, there was nothing on my mind, but writing. For the next couple of months, my time was filled with sitting at my desk constantly trying to get my dissertation written, trips back and forth to Chicago to see my significant other, moving out of my 2-bedroom apartment to a 1-bedroom cottage across town next door to a former student of mine, and planning for graduation.

The beginning of May was amazing when my family came to East Lansing for graduation at the Breslin Center. Even though I hadn't defended yet, I walked in the spring commencement since they didn't have a ceremony in the summer. After the graduation ceremony, we all headed to Harper's where Lisette and I had a co-graduation party with our families and friends. It was a really nice party. Afterwards, I went back to the cottage with my then significant other and had such a nice time drinking a beer and talking while sitting outside the cottage. The next morning, we were all up early and hit the road to head to Onaway to see the sturgeon. We got up there around noon and headed to Site B. Luckily, we caught sight of a sturgeon and my family got to see the crew in action, the hatchery, and what I did during the summers that I was up there.

Then we headed up to Mackinaw City where we spent the night before heading to Mackinaw Island the next day. It was pretty cold, but not as busy without all of the tourists so we got to enjoy the island. After a great day out on the island and a nice dinner, we hit the road and headed back to East Lansing. The next morning, I had to present the results of my teaching-as-research project so I had to say a quick goodbye to my stepdad, sisters, and nephew outside the building in the rain. But the presentation went well and I still got to spend some time with my mom before she had to leave town too. Shortly later in May, I started teaching my first course as a co-lead instructor (aka Professor Dammerman). It was a great experience even though I spent all of my days writing and all of my nights preparing lectures and quiz questions.

Three weeks before my defense date, I had to send my dissertation to my committee so when three weeks and a few days hit, it was a mad panic. I didn't sleep for two days, staying awake by drinking endless amounts of coffee and eating only delivery pizza because I was too stressed to cook. I was getting distracted by sound so I turned my TV on, but kept it on mute, sitting at my desk all through the day and night. Poor Obie had to come nudge me to remind me to move and take him outside. The morning I sent my dissertation to my committee, I was a ghost, too exhausted to even coherently think. After hitting the send button, I was so excited to finally sleep before I headed to Chicago for a visit. Shortly later, I got a call from Canada and was offered a post-doc which was amazing after having so many failed interviews and filling out at least 30 applications.

Some more interviews, lots of teaching, and a practice run through of my defense talk, and suddenly it was June 12th. The day that I had been so nervous about for months. I woke up and my significant other at the time was great, helping me get the food to the room and taking my car to my office giving me a hug and reminding me that I was going to do so well. And then suddenly it seemed like my talk was over and it was just me and my committee. Half-way through the session, I went to the restroom, took a deep breath, and suddenly realized...I'm going to be a doctor soon. The rest of the session went really well. I got a big hug from Kim, a congratulations, signed papers, and off I went to begin celebrating. The rest of the night was spent with great people celebrating all of the work I had done and all of the energy that went into the work. And that night, I finally slept without dreaming about things I was going to say at my defense and all of the writing that I had to do. The entire weekend was a nice recharge spent binge watching Orange is the New Black and drinking some beer that my lab had given me as a defense present.

Things slowly started to take a turn in the months that followed. I gained quite a bit of weight because I had stopped exercising months before. A trip out to California to see my sisters was amazing but ended up with me in the ER after bursting my ear drum. I moved to Chicago and started working in an animal shelter where on day one, I got bit by a very unhappy dog that had been in the shelter for way too long. And moving in with my significant other in Chicago when I would only be moving out a few months later to head to Canada really damaged our relationship.

From July to the beginning of October, there were great memories made too. Sampling beers at the Chicago beer festival, walking in the 2015 pride parade, going to Portland for the American Fisheries Society conference, going to my first Cubs game, taking my first boxing class, running a 4.5 mile obstacle course race called The Badass Dash to raise money for autism awareness, one last trip to East Lansing to tailgate and watch the MSU football game, and finally moving to Winnipeg to continue researching lake sturgeon. In Winnipeg, I slowly started making friends through meetup groups and got to head home (to Idaho) in November for my sister's wedding. The visit was nice, but also included some drama and a major falling out with a family member that was going through a tough time as well. I went back to Winnipeg feeling pretty defeated, and stayed that way for the weeks that followed.

In December, I headed to Michigan for Christmas and realized that the damage from the summer had just been too great to an already fragile relationship. The year ended with the end of an over four year relationship...one that I had waited over three years to even be recognized which kind of turned out to be the worst thing that could have happened. A couple of short break-ups occurred over a year long period, but it was the fallout from the summer and the appearance of someone new that led to the last. Endings like this make you feel as though all of your time together never even mattered because someone else comes along saying everything right and suddenly instead of being someone's other half, talking to you is a chore...It's an ending that I would never wish on anyone...But, there's nothing else to do but try to cut off communication, throw out all the memory triggers, dry your eyes, dust yourself off, make some con lists, and hope that there are better days to come.

And now it is 2016. The beginning of the year didn't start well recovering from heartbreak, the flu, and a little imposter syndrome, but I'm still hopeful that it's going to be an amazing year. There are so many things that I have to be thankful for, and so many new experiences that I've been able to enjoy. I've gone snowshoeing in -18F weather where my sunglasses iced over. I've eaten delicious Ethiopian and Indian food, tried some great Canadian beers, ate some poutine, played lots of board games, and met some pretty amazing people. The other day, I attended my first Festival du Voyageur (Festival of the Traveler) in St. Boniface here in Winnipeg with my friend Julie. It's an amazing festival going on right now in the city with heated tents, live bands, snow sculptures, a maze for kids, french and Canadian food, and some really great beer. We went and saw this local folk band called Red Moon Road who were just amazing signing songs in both French and English. And I got to try my first shot of caribou (whiskey, red wine, and maple sugar) out of a shot glass made entirely of ice (made a video here:

). It was a great evening, and I'm looking forward to many more Canadian adventures to come in the following months. No matter what, I'm determined to make 2016 a great year full of new people, new opportunities and experiences, and nothing but good beer! =)

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