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3.1.12 - I really can't believe that its been so long since I came home. Nor that it has been so long since I logged on to this site! (sinful!) However, there's a rhyme and a reason for everything and as I logged on today I found my final blog of my world trip unpublished. I guess I must have just hit save. Either way, even though its so long after the event it seems somehow incomplete to not now publish this. Enjoy x

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Today is the start of the big countdown. One month today I land back in the UK and this last month has been a sort of re-entry process, at least to Western life ... but more about that later. What has been circulating in my mind though are a few lists that, I thought, might ring some bells...

YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN TRAVELLING TOO LONG WHEN ....

1. Your friends are bored with telling you how jealous they are on facebook
2. You automatically reach for Ctrl Alt '2' to make an @ sign (or even worse .... Alt 6 4!)
3. On any given day you're wearing items from at least 3 different countries
4. When a professional haircut is a distant memory
5. When you know how to play 'Yanniff' or at least 3 other card games you didn't previously know
6. When finding a decent book in your language is genuinely exciting
7. The two most precious items you own - your well stamped passport and your photos
8. That Skype is a life line or at least the only way to phone
9. When you automatically put loo roll in the bin
10. When you have ink

MY PERSONAL HIGHLIGHTS OF THE JOURNEY .... IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER!

1. Walking the Great Wall
2. Diving the Barrier Reef
3. The Kettle Clan
4. The Inca Trail
5. Trekking Nepal
6. The Routeburn Track
7. Skydiving
8. Climbing Huayna Potosi
9. An incredible Christmas and New Year with three wonderful friends
10. Finding out I'm going to be an aunt
11. The Salar de Uyuni
12. The Taj Mahal

In leaving Peru I knew that I was flying up to relatives in Canada and the exciting news that my sister-in-law is busy cooking my first niece/nephew. As I'm considering a move to Canada it was also a valuable chance to go there and just 'be' - but first I had to get myself over the culture shock. In the few days before leaving Peru I stood in the shower and suddenly had the random thought 'rooms with carpet are going to be odd!' Little did I realise how that would be the very least of how I'd feel.

Last time I was in Vancouver I had an (uncharacteristically) unfriendly experience with security so was well prepared for it again. This time however the plane touched down in the (not uncharacteristic) cover of cloud and I had a genuine feeling of a home coming as I walked through the beautiful airport, was left unmolested by the, English speaking, customs and sailed through to the arrivals hall (Weird event number 1 - English speaking country). My heart was thumping with excitement and this was easily matched by the dash that my brother made, on seeing me, to give me a huge hug (Weird event number 2 - loving physical contact). I greeted my sister-in-law and the 'bump' and we set off to their car for the drive home. We got to their house and sure enough, carpet was strange to see, but I hadn't quite anticipated how luxurious the mattress would feel, in my own bedroom, with my own double bed and en suite (Weird event number 3 - feeling like a princess!) I placed my rucksack down and briefly considered chaining it up or putting my valuables in a locker (WE - 4 - security) before joining them for a drink, out of a fridge that doesn't have a 'free food' shelf! (WE - 5 - a real home - are you following a pattern yet!?). They gave me a phone to use while I was there and I found it difficult to even text! At this point I really knew I was disorientated.

Now of course this isn't a slight on my family - it was with kindness and excitement they took me out, to a place they'd been looking forward to trying. They live in a nice part of Vancouver anyway so I was starting to feel overwhelmed by the nice cars, healthy looking dogs, utter cleanliness of the place and recognisable stores, but high tea sent me over the edge! Firstly its cost was what a huge number of people I've met along the way would be delighted to live on, the silver tray with 3 levels of beautifully prepared food just seemed pretentious and excessive. The lady poured our tea (selected off a three page menu of teas) in a way that involved her circling the tea pot as she poured, which, at that moment seemed daft, and all the people in the cafe looked so well presented that I felt like a complete slob. I ate quickly and ensured that any of their left overs were also tidied up (at that price!) taking in all the trappings of modern living once again. We went from there to an organic supermarket where everything looked delicious but of course was also expensive and full of people - my sister-in-law took one look at me and said 'do you need some air?' and I could barely nod before dashing off to the car park.

I wouldn't like to give the suggestion that I resented the tears that fell for those few minutes for one second. Never in my life will I again do such an amazing trip that takes me to that place, to those feelings, and leaves my world looking so strange; and, when the initial weirdness subsided this was a feeling I embraced and spent the next few weeks enjoying every sensation of returning to 'normal life'. I can honestly say that the largest feeling I sensed during those next few weeks was gratitude. I felt lucky for everything that is in my life and humbled in a way I haven't been before and, oddly, in a way that I couldn't sense the same way when I was actually living in or witnessing so much more humble circumstances. Maybe the brain has a wonderful way of forgetting the fine details so that we can cope, or don't as acutely miss the things we knew?

In these few weeks I have been lucky enough to dive with my friends who I met on the initial course in Australia and hang out with them for a few days, meet up with people I met travelling in Japan, see and old university friend for drinks and even find a few locals to natter along with as well as my nightly dose of family. But this time has been about the mental journey most of all. I feel internally like I'm writing the conclusions section of an academic paper after months of doing the experiments - and I have a feeling that I'll be doing this for a little while to come yet - although maybe not as acutely!

Speaking of which, Vancouver is the perfect place to ponder western life. Maybe even more so than last time I can appreciate what a liberal, clean, positive and safe city this is. It feels like the best of British - the polite 'hellos' and shops where you can buy baked beans and salt'n'vinegar crisps, without one sniff of a hoodie or any sense of intimidation. This is a country that celebrates its identity and culture in a way that I can only wish my own home did. This is a country that hasn't lived (as) wildly beyond its means that others, genuinely appreciates and celebrates its natural environment and approaches life with a good dose of the 'health and safety or get sued culture' of its southern neighbours but with a genuine sense of personal responsibility attached - could this really be a place in, or slightly closer to, balance? I certainly hope so - and am so glad that I came here - to ponder all these questions, on day long hikes into beauty or hot days on the beach.

The most obvious trade offs when you set off on a journey like this are creature comforts for the open road; occasional loneliness for untold new adventures or friends; and personal advancement for personal fulfilment. I really didn't know how much more this time has given me - the freedom to really open up my thinking again and re-evaluate beliefs, lifestyle, career etc; time to write and to fall in love with photography; an enormously improved sense of world geography, history and politics; answers to some of the personal questions I had taken with me; answers to some questions I never knew I was asking; a whole new bucket list - this time of less geographical but never the less exciting new journeys and a firm realisation of the truth in the phrase - home is where the heart is.

I'd like to thank those who've been such incredible support and love throughout this journey - some are my new friends, but some are the old ones that form the ropes that keep this billowing kite of my life close enough to the earth to be grounded and free enough to keep on seeing and dreaming.

Thank you all - and I'll leave you with one final list.

SOME RANDOM STATISTICS FROM MY TRIP ....

1. 19 flights
2. approx 7000km personally driven
3. 6 night buses
4. 10 night trains
5. 9 boats
6. 3 popped tyres - 1 causing a crash
7. 8 borders walked over
8. over 100 beds slept in
9. 1 horse
10. several litres of adrenalin

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