Healing

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I think its time for another blog. I've been writing too many emails all with the same content, so I guess an update is due.

I've been living in Nelson for 6 months now. Wow. Typing that out is scary. How time flies. But then a lot has happened since I last wrote. Most of what I dreamt about hasn't happened and stuff I never dreamed would happen has. Life has a wonderful way of keeping you on your toes like that. I had planned to work a little bit, snowboard a lot and dance as often as possible. But life had some very different lessons in store for me this winter.

I think most of you know I was in a head on car collision in December (this is the reason for the blog, to let you all know I'm ok). It was the first snow fall of the season, roads were wet but not icy. I was borrowing a friends car to work in Trail that day, a 60mins drive away. My memory is blank from 10 minutes before the accident and for 12 hours afterwards, although apparently I was conscious. Apparently either me or the oncoming driver lost control in the slush and veered to the other side of the road. The resulting injuries are one leg broken twice, a cracked rib and a fractured neck. I've been on crutches and off work for 3 months now and still counting. So no hiking up mountains to check out that breath taking view, no learning to snowboard on that powdery white stuff that all the locals can't stop grinning about, no dancing to the incredible artists that keep flowing through this little mountain town, definatley no running on the trails that run along the edge of the mountain from my new back door and no doing anything for anyone, other than myself.

Instead it seems I'm being told to forget about that independant streak I've spent the last 5 years developing, and learn to depend again. Learn to be a part of a community I guess. Only it seems a little unfair on those that have been looking after me. Not sure what they get out of all this apart from knowing that thier goodwill will be passed on as soon as I'm able to. My friends do my groceries for me, bring me dishes they have cooked for me, send me packages full of love from all sides of the globe, do my cleaning and laundry, carry my bags, tie my shoe laces, carry my endless cups of tea, carry my glasses of water to bed, provide taxi services to physio appointments, hospital appointments, doctors appointments.... you get the picture. So between being surrounded by amazing friends and my perfectly timed meeting of the most selfless guy on the planet 2 months before the accident, I'm being looked after pretty darn well.

To start with I found it really freaking hard, to have to ask people all the time to do things for me, when there was no way I could repay them. But after the constant insistance that they want to help me, they enjoy being able to help me, they love being able to help me, I think I'm getting over it. It's ok to ask for help. It's ok to be dependant. I was reading a friend's blog who summed it up pretty well saying "we try to avoid vulnerability because it is inherently uncomfortable, yet vulnerability is necessary. In fact, it is absolutely required in order to live a full and satisfying life. In order to grow and prosper in life, we must embrace vulnerability." Then I watched this TED talk by Brene Brown which I think is the best TED talkI have ever seen http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html And so I embrace. I've learnt all there is to learn from this. Can I walk yet please?

Ok serious update on where I am at with the healing. The neck is stable and fine. NOTHING to worry about Mum, I promise. My leg was was re-xrayed the other day and the surgeon said I was showing some signs of healing. Thank God the caffine, alcohol and sugar ban paid off. I can start and put 50% of my weight on it for the next 2 weeks, 75% for the 2 weeks after that, then I get to go back and get xrayed again to see if I can go 100%. So I might, possibly, maybe get to start the new job I was offered the day after the accident before the end of April. Which at least means I will have more time to hang out with Mum and Dad when they come for thier visit in April. Woo!!! Can't wait.

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