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Published: June 26th 2006
Before the Sunnet
Kaanosaurus gives Efe a kiss Neslihan (my sister-in-law) was pleased and relieved when one of her fine china plates fell on the tile floor and broke into a dozen pieces. “
Nazar çıktı,” (the evil eye left) she said as she picked up the pieces. It had been a traumatic week for the family. A few days before, her parents (my parents-in-law) were on the road to her house in Ankara from Denizli (a 6-hour drive) and we were still in Munich, preparing for our trip to Ankara. We were all excited, because our sons, Kaan (Kaanosaurus), age 7 months, and Efe, age 8, were going to have their circumcisions on Saturday. In the States, circumcision is usually a quick medical procedure done in the hospital or doctor’s office when a baby boy is in his first week. It is done with no pomp and circumstance and is not even really discussed, certainly is not celebrated. For Jewish people, it’s a little more of an occasion, a lifecycle ceremony called a Bris; on a boy baby’s 8th day, the family gathers at home and a man whose job it is to perform circumcisions comes to the home and circumcises the baby while prayers
Efe and his parents
It's been a rough week, but everyone looks their best for the Sunnet are said, often by a rabbi. In addition to being a circumcision, it is a naming ceremony. It is reason for the family to gather and celebrate life.
Circumcision in Turkey In Turkey, circumcisions are a bigger deal than some weddings in the States. They are in some ways comparable to Bar Mitzvahs, in that they involve people traveling from near and far to celebrate the rite of passage of a young boy, to celebrate life together while eating, drinking, and dancing. The boy receives gifts and wears a special outfit that announces to the world that he’s just been circumcised - it’s a big party about a pee-pee. Wheras once, the town barber apparently used his scissors (hopefully, with great precision) to perform circumcisions, these days (at least in cities) they are performed in medical facilities with local anesthesia, sterile instruments, and very loud music (I’ll explain that later).
While some boys have their circumcision (sunnet) and circumcision celebration (sunnet duğun) the same day, many will have their sunnet duğun a week or so after the sunnet, so they have time to heal and can actually enjoy the celebration. That is what was planned for
Efe. His duğun was planned for a week after his sunnet. We were all coming to Ankara on Friday, the day before the sunnet, which was to be Saturday morning. Neslihan and my father-in-law collected us at the Ankara airport on Friday evening, and as we drove to town, they explained to us that Efe had been in an accident the day before. That is an understatement. He had been hit by a car while he was crossing at a crosswalk. A 19-year-old girl who should clearly not be driving, hit him. She ran over his foot, and hit him in the arm. The impact was so hard that her rear-view mirror was broken by his 8-year-old arm. Fortunately, although he has swelling and internal bleeding in his arm and his foot, no bones were broken. Although he cannot walk right now, the doctors say he’ll be able to walk again once he heals.
Everyone had been preparing for Efe’s sunnet for months, if not years. Everything was arranged - he would have his sunnet on Saturday, his sunnet duğun the following Saturday. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, friends, were all invited. Despite the car accident, Efe
The Circumcision Clinic Sign
Note the picture of the evil eye amulet, to protect the boys having their sunnet. decided to have his sunnet anyway - after all, he was already stuck in bed recovering, why not get it all over with at the same time. More than anything, he was mentally prepared for the occasion.
Understanding the Evil Eye The evil eye is not what it seems - it is not necessarily possessed by evil people wishing bad things. It is bad luck that can be brought on, even unwillingly, by anyone who admires someone. It can be caused by unwitting or even subconscious jealousy or desire. It is everywhere! For that reason, babies from Turkey (and Greece and Palestine and many, many other countries) have little eye beads pinned onto their clothing to protect themselves from the nazar. It is not unlike the superstition of telling an actor “break a leg” before a show, so that they don’t.
The very first time I came to Neslihan’s house, years ago, as we entered the door, a porcelain figurine fell to the floor and broke. I felt sad for her, I wondered if it was special to her. But she said, “I am happy, the evil eye left”. Fortunately, that time it had left before
Kaanosaurus and his parents
Kaan doesn't know what all the commotion is about causing any trouble. Indeed, every time we have a big family get together, the nazar appears. A few days before our wedding, my mother-in-law slipped, fell, and hit her head very hard. She had to be taken to the hospital and had a painful egg on her head for at least a month afterward. This time, it was Efe’s accident. Once the evil eye left, we all relaxed.
Sunnet Saturday morning came, and we all went to the circumcision clinic. Dance music was booming into the tiny, hot room (the air conditioning was turned on half an hour later) on an otherwise quiet morning in a quiet neighborhood. Other families were gathered, some of their young sons wearing special suits. One family had the music from their car stereo playing as a group of 5 boys under 8 years old danced a traditional Turkish dance in a circle around a boy wearing his circumcision suit. There were dozens of people trying to speak over loud music and the noise created an environment of excitement and not one of fear nor of your run-of-the-mill medical clinic in the States or in Germany, where patients and guests are kept quiet
and serene. This was a party clinic. The boys went into the circumcision room one by one, and when they came out, everyone in the room clapped as the boys beamed and probably tried not to cry. When Efe’s turn came, he went into his room with the entourage: his parents, his parents’ “
kirveler” (helpers,friends their age) and two nurses. We asked for his sunnet to be projected on the screen in the waiting area, and for the music to be turned down because it was too loud for little Kaan. We watched the room (the surgery itself was conveniently off the screen), and were delighted as Efe patiently played a video game. Neslihan cried in a corner, Efe’s dad, Samim, sat by his legs. Işıl, one of the kirves, ran to get water for the other kirve, her husband, Kağan, who had almost fainted. He later came out of the room pale as a ghost. Apparently, being a kirve during a circumcision was not the right occupation for him! When the surgery was over, Efe was carried out and everyone clapped.
When Kaan’s turn came, everyone told me to leave the room, that they’d take care of
The Next Day
The boys are playing together the next day - now they can enjoy the party! Kaan, etc… I had also been told not to watch, that it takes a long time and is really hard on the mothers. I had thought I wouldn’t want to stay in the room, but in a rush of inner strength, I decided I couldn’t be anywhere else but beside my son, holding his hand and singing to him in his ear. Poor Kaan was exhausted from having missed his nap and being in a new environment. We tried feeding him a bottle while he had his surgery, but he did not suck more than a few seconds at a time. More than anything, I think he was frustrated and scared that his hands and arms, which he loves so much to move around, were being restrained. Ever since he was a bean in my womb, he has been kicking his legs, dancing to his own beat. And here he was on a table in a strange place and he couldn’t kick his feet for comfort. Poor Levent, on hearing Kaan’s first screams and seeing some blood (I wasn’t actually watching the surgery myself - just Kaan’s face), turned pale himself and had to leave the room. They didn’t let him back in…
Thus, the loud music. Apparently, back in the room, on hearing Kaan’s screams, music videos were put on the screen and the music blasted, so that the other boys wouldn’t be scared. There IS an explanation for everything!
Recovery Back at home, we are taking care of Kaanosaurus and Efe. Both on Sunday and today, a “dressing man” has come to change the boys’ dressings, apply iodine and make sure everything is healing ok. Fortunately, they are both doing fine. They had their special day together, and they are forever bound by this shared experience.
Do I believe in the Nazar? Well, I definitely think it exists in Turkey. In the US, we have other explanations for unfortunate events, but in Turkey, the evil eye explains many things. So, next time a plate or a glass or a figurine breaks, don’t be sad:
nazar çıktı. (pronunciation: nah-zar chook-tuh - )
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Mel
non-member comment
WOW
Wow Saskia, That is such a great read and so interesting. I feel so close to you reading all your stories. I need to start my own blog. I am glad that everyone is ok...and I am hoping for no Nazar's here today. Mandy can't take anymore falls on her head or we might be in trouble.