Scotland 2007, Day 5, Edinburgh

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Tuesday, July 31, 2007- Edinburgh:

We stayed in Edinburgh for two nights, so I didn’t have to worry about leaving my luggage in the hallway (at this point I’ve already gone back to having two suitcases- I’ll just load the one myself). We stayed at The George Hotel- it was four star and beautiful. Our room was gorgeous but getting to our room was not. We had to go down a long hallway, take an elevator up, go to the end of another hallway, go down a flight of stairs and go to the end of the hallway, right next to the Maid’s closet. Friggin Labyrinth. Rest of the hotel and our room made up for it though.

In the morning, Margie, our tour guide took the morning to catch up on her paperwork so we were honored with Allan as our tour guide. An older gentleman with a devilish gleam of fun in his eye- and in a kilt! Sadly he told us that there is something like 26 feet of material in a kilt so the odds of us seeing what’s under one is slim (hmmm, maybe I shouldn’t say “slim”). Frank, our bus driver, had the day off as well so we had Ian as our driver. Both men were a lot of fun.

We visited The Royal Residence (aka The Palace of Holyroodhouse) since the family wasn’t in residence. Beautiful house, but I have a hard time picturing someone sitting in those very hard, stern, uncomfortable chairs. I’m pretty sure they have a Billiard room in the converted basement with Lazy Boy chairs. And Velvetta.

What I like most about the house was, of course, the architecture and the Abbey ruins that were once attached to the house. Had to pretty much jog to get pictures of it though because we had 20 minutes to stroll on our own. Allan is wonderful and wise, but I’m pretty sure he was a Drill Sergeant at some point in his life. Ditto for Margie.

After the Queen’s place, we went up to Edinburgh Castle. The Military Tattoo is on Thursday, so there are bleachers everywhere. I haven’t seen the Tattoo before but everyone was saying that it looked much smaller than it did on TV. Anyway, Aaron marched us up to the top, giving us interesting tidbits along the way. Then, he let us loose and we had 30 minutes to look thru everything. Started off in the Watchtower but they’ve plastered all the walls inside so it looks modern. Then they’ve got mannequins set up everywhere showing the progression of the country/royalty. Personally, I thought it was corny and did everything I could to get thru it quickly. I once again ran into Melissa and we embarked upon a stairwell that we were sure would lead us to amazing hidden secrets. Nope, it was blocked off. Won’t stop us from continuing to try though. After that, took pictures of the structures. It was a city inside of a fort. There is still military based up there so you would see soldiers in the crowd as well. The best part for me was as I was leaving a group of Drag Queens were coming into the castle. So, got a shot with them. They are performing The Sound of Music (in drag of course) for the month of August. If only we could have stayed in Edinburgh 1 more day! I was standing outside the bus, stalling until I would once again be trapped, when Burt came up to me and asked if I would take a picture of him in front of the bus eating a dripping ice cream cone. I said of course, and then I saw Allan, in his fancy wear. I asked Burt if he would like Allan in the shot to and Burt quickly agreed that this was an excellent idea. Allan eyed the dripping ice cream cone and tried to get out of it, but we persuaded him to wander closer and I got the shot. I don’t think Allan was smiling much in the picture.

There was an excursion tonight (Scottish Dance/Dinner) so John, Mom and I had the rest of the day to ourselves from 12:30pm on. We went and had lunch at a pub where I met Zach Braff’s Scottish brother. Unfortunately, I don’t think he wanted to take a picture with the annoying American so he didn’t smile in the picture- when he smiles he really looked like him. After that we walked around New Town and then stared at the bus charts. As we were trying to figure out how to get to Heart of Midlothian football (aka soccer) stadium, a nice guy was walking by, stopped and came over and offered help. He looked familiar but my stupid brain didn’t think much of it. He pointed us in the right direction and took off again. Mom then informed us that that was Frank, our bus driver. Very large city, but the poor guy couldn’t get away from us. So, we hopped on a bus, then hopped off, then hopped on, then hopped off until we got the stadium. Since they are the Hearts, I had fun in their gift shop. After that trip, we went and crashed at the hotel for a while and then went to Old Town. That’s when I decided to be smart and buy a watch so that I actually knew what time it was. My cell phone doesn’t work over here and I don’t want to take my iPod with me everywhere. So, found a shop that was still open (most close about 6pm) and bought a cute one with the Scottish flag on it. Didn’t realize ‘til awhile later that the watch doesn’t work. Now we get to hunt down batteries for it. Until then, it’s 8 o’clock. (two years later, still haven bought a battery for this watch.)

As we were walking back to New Town, we stopped on a bridge to gaze out over a park. An older Scottish gent decided that he needed to talk to me and came over and said that I was on the wrong bridge. “If you want to jump, you should go to that bridge” (pointing to a larger one nearby). So, I started chatting with him but once I said I was from Los Angeles (America) he turned somber and said that he hated it. He went on and on about how the police brutalize the lower class. I stopped him, and while I don’t remember what I said, I basically said that I wasn’t pleased to hear that he hated me and my country. At this point mom stepped forward because she thought I was going to deck him. Nope, wasn’t going to hit him…physically that is. I was ready for a mental war though. He was hard to understand due to his older Scottish accent and the fact that he was drunk. It dawned on him that he had ticked off the touring Americans and he tried to explain what he meant. He was just trying to say that our cops were bad and that he hated what they did. Mom and I agreed that there are some bad things, as with any country, but that doesn’t mean all cops are bad and that doesn’t mean the country is bad. I love that mom pointed out the fact that the Glasgow Airport had a terrorist attack (bomb) a few weeks before. So does that mean all of Scotland is dangerous? He then looked at me and said something. I looked at mom- half for translation and half to see if I should be pissed. He repeated again and eventually Mom figured out he was saying to me “You’re a wee pretty lass”. I thanked him and tried to get away again. Two hugs later (two for mom and two for me) we escaped. Apparently the older generation of Scotland think I’m a catch.

We were hungry for dinner so we stopped by an Italian place were the maitre d did everything in his power to suggest the most wonderful pizza in the world. We kind of felt guilty cause we just wanted pepperoni and cheese. The guy was exactly what I would picture an Italian waiter to be like in Italy (he was Italian)- very charming and accommodating. We got it to go and couldn’t find a grocery store/convenience store on the way back to the hotel. So, I stopped at a Subway to pick up some cokes. It took 20 minutes for the four people ahead of me to be served. Then, I decided to pick up an Italian sub for John and after they put all the fixings on it, I asked for Italian dressing on it and they don’t carry Italian dressing. No Italian dressing for an Italian sub. ??? Went back to the hotel and packed up ‘cause tomorrow we’re going to the Highlands. I love Edinburgh- don’t want to leave. I learned the next day that Burt loved it as well, and, aside from hurting his knee, had fun Bungee jumping in Princes park.

Scotland Oddities:
No top sheets
Traffic lights go from red to yellow to green
Maxi Pad= Press On Towel
Hokey Pokey= Hokey Cokey
You have to have a license to have a TV- it’s 130 pounds.
If you try to cheat, it’s a 1000 pound fine.
Good luck flushing a toilet- most times you have to
“prime the pump”
They have two “taps” on the sink. So you can either boil
or freeze your hands when you wash them (unless you
want to put in the stopper and wash in the germs of others.)
The word “fanny” means “c#nt”. (take a moment to giggle over "fanny pack" cause the Scots do!)
The word “c#nt” means “twit”.

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Photos

Edinburgh
Me & the Scottish Zack Braff look-a-like (who was less-than-pleased to pose with the annoying American.)

Edinburgh Castle
Never fear, Mom and I are on duty.

Drag Queens at Edinburgh Castle
PLEASE forgive me for my Wal-Mart American wardrobe. I am mortified as well. The Drags look awesome though!

Prince Street park
and Sir Walter Scott Monument

One of the many "Closes"
You have no choice but to hum the "Rocky" theme as you try to make it up these stairs.

Windows on the building arent windows.
Deep, no? They are actually painted onto the wall, no window there. There was some kind of window tax years ago and you had to pay money for any windows you had. So, they just painted windows on the outside for aesthetic reasons.