Day 120-121: Scotland - Edinburgh - pre-Haggis tour

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Day 120: August 3 - IRELAND - Dublin, SCOTLAND - Edinburgh
Accommodation: Princes Street East Backpackers Hostel, Edinburgh

Another travel day today and I was out of the hostel later in the morning than I hoped. My flight was for 1:20pm but I didn't start walking towards the airport shuttle stop until about 11:30am. What I did realise was that the bus stop was some 15 to 20 minutes' walk away, and when I arrived there were several people waiting for the bus. It wasn't until just after 12pm that a bus arrived, and when it got to the airport it was stuck in traffic behind several cars. By the time I got off the bus it was 12:30pm and I was freaking out a bit because I had 50 minutes before my plane was to depart. I got inside the terminal doors and it was full of thousands of people just everywhere! I had no idea where to go and eventually found a sign pointing me towards Aer Lingus check-in. Luckily there was no line at check-in, but my bags were too big and heavy for the conveyor belt so I had to take them around to a special oversize luggage area. More time wasting I thought! Thankfully there was no line up there either and my bags went straight in, but there was a line up at the metal detectors slowing me down further, and when I finally got through I arrived at the gate with 20 minutes before boarding. I hadn't had breakfast so I decided to push my luck and get a toasted sandwich, but the girl put it under the toaster press and left it there for ages! By the time I got it and took it to the gate there were people already lining up to board, so I basically shoved it all down my throat and was one of the last in line to board. I definitely pushed it for time today, but it still worked out and I was on my next flight.
I would've liked to visit Northern Ireland on this trip but I ran out of time, so when the captain told us we were flying over Londonderry I got my camera out and took a photo of it down below. The Irish coastline looked pretty spectacular from the air. Only half an hour or so later we were descending into Edinburgh airport. I don't know why but I had a feeling of excitement coming into Edinburgh on the airport shuttle bus. On the way we passed a zoo advertising koalas, Murrayfield sports stadium where all the big Scottish football matches are played, and lovely stone-built houses. The whole place had a nice feel to it, then coming into central Edinburgh the place was buzzing with people. This was Edinburgh Fringe Festival time and people were coming from everywhere to join in, including myself. The bus station was pretty close to my hostel, and I had to dodge the crowds walking on the street to get there.
My hostel was just around the corner from one of the two busiest pedestrian streets in Edinburgh, Princes Street (the other being the Royal Mile), yet it was quiet and looked like a back alley but didn't feel dirty or dangerous. I had to walk up 77 steps to get to hostel reception. I knew this because someone had painted the number of steps on each step along the way, starting at 77 and decreasing by one with every step I took to the top. It was a spiral staircase and about every 15 steps or so I came across a big wall painting of a cartoon character style person telling me how long I had to go and I'm almost there and I look pretty tired. It was the most enjoyable staircase I'd ever climbed in my life.
The hostel staff were pretty laidback, and the whole place seemed to have been built out of an old series of apartments with wooden staircases and hallways leading to rooms all over the place. Staff members lived in the hostel in their own rooms, the kitchen and dining area were small yet welcoming, there were loads of notices on the walls and a colourful wall painting everywhere you turned, and the whole place just had a good vibe about it. This was one of the most enjoyable hostels on my whole trip.
Edinburgh was a lovely city. Wide streets and wide open space in the city centre, sandstone buildings and roads everywhere, a historic walkway known as the Royal Mile, and so much history. Next to London, it was my favourite city in the British Isles. Edinburgh Castle sitting on the highest point of the city centre was so imposing yet majestic. I had given myself a fair few days to explore the city while I was here either side of a week-long tour of Scotland, so I was in no rush to see everything and figured the best thing to do was to get my bearings. Very close to my hostel door were two pubs, one authentic old style pub and one slightly modernised pub but with a nice atmosphere nonetheless, so I had options for pre-sleep drinks if I needed them. I walked out onto busy Princes Street and could see the old sandstone buildings that lined the Royal Mile sitting up on a hill, so that’s exactly where I headed. It was also a wise place for me to visit as near the Royal Mile was the meeting point for my week-long tour as well as the other two hostels I was booked into after my tour, not to mention the tourist district full of nice pubs and walk-in restaurants. I had no choice but to book myself into three different hostels as being the busiest time of the year I couldn’t get more than two consecutive nights in one place, and for the Saturday night after my tour I could only find one hostel out of about 20 with a bed available under 20 pounds!
After getting my bearings, I went down to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival booking tent where about 20 self serve computer terminals were set up and I scrolled through any shows I might be interested in seeing over my visit. There were theatre shows, folk bands, obscure shows that couldn’t be put into a category, but I was mainly interested in the comedy shows. I had already booked myself for some of the more popular ones so that I wouldn’t miss out, but today I was here to fill in the gaps with some shows that looked enjoyable, mostly of comedy acts I already knew would be good. They were mostly all the same price and all went for a standard hour so as to fit in with the festival schedule and to give the comedians a fair amount of time each. I booked a handful of shows, kept some more in mind if I felt like it after my tour, then headed off to grab some dinner and maybe a local beer or two.
My first comedy show of many I was booked to see was by an Aussie comedian called Kim Hope at 7:45pm. I’d remembered her from the 1980’s comedy TV show The Big Gig and a few other random performances on TV here and there so I figured it would be a good start. I walked into the room which was so tiny it only held a hundred seats, the stage was tiny, and by show time there were only a dozen people there. I still had faith, but most of Kim’s jokes were based around getting used to living in the UK, failed relationships, and stupid things she did while she was drunk with friends. It was basically the type of stuff she would’ve been better off talking to her girlfriends about rather than a captive audience, and she didn’t get very many laughs. I felt a bit sorry for her really but hoped it was just early days and her act would pick up.
Next up was one of Australia’s most famous comedians, Wil Anderson at 9:35pm. The festival map with locations of all the venues showed that the place I was going to was in the same area, which was lucky as the map showed that some venues were up to 15 to 20 minutes of walking time apart. The two main venues in this little area were the Underbelly and Gilded Balloon, and these were surrounded by several outdoor bars and fast food eateries, so I was already thinking of this place as a good one to base myself at throughout the festival whether I was going to a show or not. I tried John Smith’s beer for the first time with only a 4% alcohol content but had a smooth creamy taste and was very satisfying. Gradually a line was forming for Wil’s show so I squeezed in before too many people came along, and I was lucky enough to score a free single seat in the front row. For a place where most people went out in couples or groups, sometimes it does pay to be wandering by yourself! This venue must have had about 1000 people in it, and early on in the show Wil asked how many Aussies were in the audience which received a response of over half the crowd, so it was pretty funny to see so many Aussies in a country halfway across the world at the one show. Wil had lots of energy and followed up with joke after joke, sometimes before the crowd had a chance to settle down from the previous laugh, and with such a high result of at least some people laughing at each joke there was almost constant laughter throughout the whole show. It was a great atmosphere and a huge step up from the show I’d seen just over an hour ago. After that I scored a couple more beers and eventually headed back to the hostel to watch a bit of a movie before heading off to bed.

Day 121: August 4 - Edinburgh
Accommodation: Princes Street East Backpackers Hostel, Edinburgh

Today was my first full day to go sightseeing in Edinburgh, but I had no major plans of what to see so I felt a bit lost. The first thing I did was go straight back to the festival booking tent. There were so many acts to see I didn't know where to start, so I spent a good half hour just browsing and deciding on and finding which shows still had tickets on sale before making any bookings. The first show I booked was for just after 5pm so I knew I had a good 5 or 6 hours until then to do some sightseeing. My first stop was the Royal Mile and I had more time to explore it in full today to see what was so special about it. To get there I had to walk straight up a steep road paved with large flat stones past old historic buildings and up some steps through a narrow stone corridor, which was an exciting walk in itself. When I got there I saw wall-to-wall souvenir shops, but they weren't selling tacky things like souvenir shops in so many other countries. There were scotch whisky stores, shops selling family history items and clan tartan kilts, authentic Scottish pubs, and the occasional craft store. Then I saw some much more tacky things such as tea towels, surname drink coasters, stuffed bears and dolls, and lots of those similar things.
The Royal Mile stretched from the top of a hill down a slight slope, with Edinburgh Castle at the top. Surrounding its entrance were stadium-style seats which had been erected for the Edinburgh Military Tattoo, and the section in front of the castle was closed off around 6pm every day for the show. This was something I found out later on as I attempted to get close to the castle entrance later in the day only to be confused by being turned away by security. I guessed I should've researched Edinburgh a bit more, but in reality I had come here to see some festival shows and join a Haggis tour of Scotland, so I didn't think far enough ahead for anything else. So wandering around lost I just walked in and out of souvenir shops mostly looking at family history things and considering whether I'd actually wear a kilt if I bought one. I decided I wasn't the kilt wearing type. I found myself a nice big pie for lunch with big soft chunks of steak inside. It was the best pie I'd tasted in a long time. I wasn't quite game on the black pudding as I didn’t know what was in it let alone what it would taste like, and I totally forgot about getting a fried Mars bar. Maybe next time.
After killing enough time, I was getting ready to line up to see The Goodies' festival show at 5:30pm. I knew this would be popular so I arrived half an hour early, but there was already a huge line halfway down the street! Luckily when I finally got inside the theatre was huge and there were several free seats to fill up and I got into the fourth or fifth row. This place had people of all ages from kids and their parents to teenagers to 20-somethings to dressed up couples and groups, so I guess it was going to be G-rated compared to the barrage of swear words I heard from Wil Anderson yesterday. The Goodies talked about what their lives were like now after the show had finished, threw in some old jokes from the TV shows, explained why Bill Oddie couldn’t make it even though they had vision of him on a big screen, and showed various of the best clips from their old shows. The guys were older and slightly balder and fatter, but there were still lots of laughs and nostalgia and the show went for 1½ hours for a reasonably good price, so it was great value and I was very satisfied.
It was 7pm by now and I had booked myself into two more shows, but they were on later in the night, Puppetry Of The Penis at 8:05pm and Rich Hall at 10:30pm, so I had a bit of time to get over to the other side of town for my next show. Eventually I got there so early that I was in the front row, and as the theatre filled up I noticed I was the only male in the whole front row and the place was about two-thirds females and I was at a show where two guys would be naked for almost the whole performance. I almost had to reassure myself that I was not gay and was just here for a good laugh. For anyone who doesn’t know what Puppetry Of The Penis is, it’s basically two guys on stage who make everyday items by rearranging their genitals with their hands. With their meat and two veg they stood there and made a hamburger and a wrist watch amongst other weird and wonderful things, and the finale was a windsurfing sail where the guy stood still on a skateboard and got pushed along by a fan being held by the other guy. It’s definitely not something you see every day and was absolutely hilarious, but is one of those things where you see it once and you’ve seen it all.
I had a bit more time to get back to the same theatre I was in just 4 hours ago to see Rich Hall. This guy is basically cynical and angry about many topical and political things happening in the world right now, but his comments about these things in the show had the crowd cracking up with laughter all over the place. He played off the crowd and spoke to them several times about different things, and the whole show seemed improvised. I’m impressed by anyone who can do that and produce constant laughter for a solid hour. Towards the end of the hour he was on such a roll he could’ve kept going for another hour. If it wasn’t so expensive I probably would’ve gone back to see him again several times as no two shows would’ve been the same. It was definitely quality entertainment. By this point it was almost midnight so I wandered back to the hostel to head off to bed. Tomorrow was going to be a big day with an early start.

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