This is Glastonbury

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I Am Getting A Team together

It was the Dog’s idea to go Glastonbury for the music festival, at first I said no when he asked me. But during a night spent popping little fellas, he talked me in to going. I thought there would be a big team going but it turned out to be just me, the Dog and Col Killy. Yes I was travelling again with him after all that happened in New York. I did contemplate ducking out but I could not let down Team Moston.
I should have gone 10 years ago but because of a mix up in the cars we were renting I did not go. I was very excited in attending my first music festival and also a bit nervous as we had no tickets and after what happened at Glastonbuy 87.

Gay Bikers on Acid

Doggler takes up the story: We arrived late evening at around 9pm due to a cock up with renting the cars. After parking the car, I scaled the walls quite easily; I sat on top of the wall while the lads past the 24 packs of lager to me and then I dropped them over the other side. I could hear in the distance rather aptly “Thieves like us” by New Order.
I just about drop down when I noticed about five or six shadowy figures emerging from the bushes. I was now joined on the wall by the rest of Team Moston. The men came closer and beckoned us down; everyone froze except me I dropped down (no ones having my beer) as I walked towards the group men, the rest of the lads had followed me over the wall and were trailing behind me cautiously.
As they drew closer to my horror I saw that they were Hell’s Angels and all at once they was on to us pointing shotguns at our heads and demanding money. I could see out of the corner Pete and Chaddy fleeing in to the distance, but Palty, Phil Hardy and Tommy Briggs were handing all their dosh to them. I had to make a stand so I refused to hand over my money, they started searching me but I had hidden my money well. They threaten to “Blow off my F**king head” but still I held out to them. I was knocked to ground and the Butt of the shotgun was smashed into my face, I saw stars and I was rendered unconscious. When I came round, I was alone, so I ran through the tent area towards the main stage. I checked my pockets and my money was intact, but my face was not so luck, I had copped an absolute massive shiner.

Break on through to the otherside

During the week I had been checking the weather forecast and it was not good, rain was forecast for the coming weekend.
I met up with Col and Doggler in the Museum on Thursday night wearing my boots, waterproof trousers and a big coat. The Dog and I supped a few beers but Col was driving so he stuck to coke. We had to drive to Dog’s house to pick up the drugs (speed, Es and Marijuana) before we set off on the long journey to Wiltshire. We arrived at the festival at 4am, parked the car up and set about finding a way in without paying. In all the History of Team Moston going to the Glastonbury no member had ever bought a ticket and paid in. The wall surrounding the festival was about 12 feet high; we walked around it looking for a way in. Presently we came upon a plank that was lodged against the wall. It was so easy to scale the wall. Before I dropped to the other side I did a quick check for Hells Angels with shot guns. On the other side of the wall there was a small wire fence about 10 feet high which was a piece of piss to climb over and we had made it.
We stumbled our way through rows of tents, Col went arse over tit when he tripped over a guide line, which was very funny. I was elated that we got in and no one had tried to mug us or kill us.
We crashed out on a grassy hill near the Dance tent and waited for daylight, I tried to sleep but it was impossible.

Pyramid Scheme of Things

At 6am we walked towards the Pyramid stage, walking along the pathways was horrendous as most to them had turned to mud; even the ones with pallets laid on them were dicey. The site had turned into a f**king mud bath, we walked past people who were covered head to foot in mud who were obviously whacked out of their minds on drugs. All weekend long boots were constantly being left in the mud as you lifted your leg up to walk.
At 12pm the first band to come on the stage and Glastonbury started rocking. We found a good spot near the sound desk, I realised now it was the time to take my whizz, as I was flagging. Doggler got talking with some guy from Hull, Dog who was smoking weed for fun at this stage, he was yapping to this boring c*nt for hours, hardly taken any notice of the bands. I staid quiet, enjoying the buzz from the speed and the excitement of being close to the mush pit but not actual in it. Col was strangely subdued; he did not take any drugs and would make the long walk to the beer tent for the overpriced ale.
Most of the bands got pelted with mud; The Levellers got the worst of it, I think it was there own fault for turning up in Hawaiian shirts and Singing “It’s a Beautiful day” to a field full of people soaking wet and caked in mud. Doggler had given me a fake £20 note to try and get rid off for him, when I had a good look at them I was sceptical if these note would fool anyone but I thought I would give it a go. A t-shirt salesman came up to our little group. I told him I would take 2 for £7 and handed him the fake £20 he looked at it and said “hey is this a fake one?” I replied aggressively “You f**king what mate, course it’s fucking real” Amazingly the guy backed down and handed me the 2 t-shirts and £13 in change. I gave one to the Dog and split the change with him.

That Sinking Feeling

In the late afternoon the Sun finally came out during Beck’s performance, just seeing the Sun lifted my spirits and a fantastic performance by Supergrass lifted my spirits even further. The sky clouds over again when Smashing Pumkins come on so we head to the “Other Stage” but to our dismay we found out that the stage was sinking into the mud so most of sets were cancelled.
We ambled around checking out the various fields (it was tough going in the mud) but we made sure we were back at the Pyramid stage for main headliner “The Prodigy”. I popped a little fella about 20 minutes before they were due to go on stage to get me in the mood for some serious raving.

Blackout

Twenty minutes into the show and everything goes dark on the stage, at first I think its part of the show but after 15 minutes still nothing is happening, the crowd become restless and starting slow hand clapping. The stage light comes on, the Prodigy belt another couple of numbers. I am getting a good buzz and getting into the groove when the power goes again and all goes black. Everyone starts booing and jeering, another 20 minutes of waiting an announcement is made that due to power failure the concert is over. We walked for ages looking a suitable place to crash out for the night, how I wished we had brought a tent with us, just somewhere to seek sanctuary.

Found Myself in a Strange Town

Glastonbury is like a small city, albeit a tent city with different fields, in one field you may find a mini Stonehenge made of cars, another one would have a field full of windmills, you would never know quite what you may find in this weird and wonderful place.
That night as the three of us roamed randomly, the heavens were threatening to open up and drown us. We found a field with big tents, like small circus ones. We entered one of tents, it was pitch black inside, Doggler guiding our way with his lighter, I had to step over a few people who were sleeping on the floor, I found a narrow bench and lay down, Col lay on the one next to me and Doggler crashed out against the side of the tent. I was exhausted after all the stomping around in the mud, but my mind was alert and would not let me sleep, I looked over to where the Dog was, the only thing I could make was the flame from his lighter as he lit up another big Joint. I had fitful few hours, drifting in and out of sleep, rolling over off my narrow bench on to the hard earth.

Who Let The Dog

When daylight broke, I could see clearly where we had spent the night, and there was a quite a few hippie types still sleeping on tables and on a small stage. I spotted Col, dead to the world but no Doggler. I left Col sleeping and nipped out and bought some tea and bread from an Organic café. We had slept in a Poetry tent, when I got back Col and woken up and asked where the Dog was, I shrugged my shoulders and said “Well he was here last night when I fell asleep, but he had disappeared when I woke before”.
We assumed he had gone for a walk so we decided to wait for him. While we waited, the Poetry guys told some stories about lepacorns and recited some hippie bullshit poetry about love and peace (man).
We waited and we waited and we waited some more but still there were no sign of the Dog man, I was becoming quite worried that we would never see him again, finding a friend amongst 120,000 people, well the words needle and haystack did spring to mind.

Down Down You Bring me Down

We were staving and we needed to eat, so we gave up waiting for him and walked to the food stalls for much needed nourishment (burger and chips)
We spent the afternoon searching for the Dog, Col went into moaning mode “F**king bastard mobile, I can’t get a f**king signal” “F**king Mud”. The hour’s dragged by and Col’s never ending brain drain of sentences of which everyone began with f**king and ended with Tw*t or bastard, Col was starting to bring down.
I needed to find the Dog fast not because he had all the drugs but he was the one who made things happen and also great company. I had almost given up hope of finding him but as we were walking along a busy walkway; there he was walking towards us. “Hey hey hey where the f**k have you been”?

Cock drop and 2 Smoking Joints

He looked mightily relieved to see us and he told us his story of woe:
After smoking a big fat joint, I tried to settle down and zone out, but my bladder started to ache, I needed a piss badly; I staggered outside the tent into the twilight. I pull out my cock I was just about to piss, when a guy came from nowhere and started yelling at me, So I staggered towards where was some bushes, I trip and fell into them, I lay in the mud for a while unable to move, I must have overloaded that joint because I was completely bolloxed. After god knows how long I stood up and took a piss. When I emerged out of the bushes I no idea where I had come from so I just walked down the hill hoping to see something that would help me get my bearings. I must have been walking for 20 minutes, when I notice that my cock was hanging out of my flies, shit. It was lucky it was still early morning and there only a few people around, it took me awhile to sober up and I have walking around ever since.
Col and I had a good laugh at his “little” embarrassment, and his crazy antics.

Muddy Waters, Mud Dog MadMan and Muddy Hell Col

If case any of us was to get lost we arranged a meeting point at the sound desk at the Pyramid stage.
The Crucial three, The Three Amigos, The Three Musketeers were back together and were ready to party.
We staid at the Pyramid stage for rest of the day, enjoying performances from The Wannadies, Dodgy and Ray Davies, they did their best to will the sun into coming out with some summery songs but it was all to no avail still it wasn’t raining so that was a bonus.

The Great Mistake

The group I was most looking forward to seeing was Radiohead but Doggler in his infinite wisdom decide he wanted to see Primal Scream at the Dance Tent. I argued for us to stay and wait for Radiohead to come on. But he was having none of it, I think he had some strange notion that he would meet up with Mani (ex Stone Roses bass player now with Primal Scream) and he would invite us all back stage for a “Sex and drugs and rock n rock party.
He convinced Col to go with him; I did not want to stay alone so reluctantly I went with them.

No Hippie Hippie Shake

At the Dance Tent, a sizable crowd had gathered and it was difficult to fined a decent place to stand, 30 minutes later and Primal Scream still had not come on stage, Col was growing impatient and went into moaning mode again, I too joined him as I thought Primal Scream were f**king Shite. Doggler bowed to Pressure but he would not go back to Pyramid stage so we comprised and went to the other stage and watched f**king Kula Shaker who was absolutely awful, their played hippie drippy rock music to stoners hell bent on dancing to any crap they bashed out.

Paranoia

After the gig we decided to head towards to the Poetry tent, on the way we found an outdoor Disco, the dance floor was a muddy field, you could not dance, all you could do was let your boots sink into the mud and sway along to the music. Dog lit up one of his heavily loaded joints and this time Col and I shared it with him.
It was strong stuff, I started to think I was going to sink all the way down into the mud, it was as if I was dancing on quicksand I was getting lower and lower, also I was becoming paranoid, I tried to get into the music and relax but every time I looked round I saw many angry faces with evil eyes who looking to cause me harm. Col decided he needed some Lager refreshment and went looking for a beer tent. So for another 2 hours I swayed in the mud, fighting my paranoia and thinking where the hell was Col? He still had come back from the bar, and I was worried he may have got lost.

Mystery Man

The music ended and we decided that we could not wait for Col, and he knew where the poetry tent was. So it was the same drill as the night before, we found shelter amongst the poets and hippies.
The next morning after more poetry reading and bullshit we walked to the meeting point and waited for Col but he was a no show.
We spent most on the day sitting on the hill at the Pyramid stage, every so often we would check at the sound check desk but he was no where to be seen.
I speculated that he had gone home, clearly he was not enjoying himself, I don’t really know why he came, he was not into drugs or music and as for living of the land I don’t think I have ever seen Col unshaven ever. Col is a real mystery and the new mystery was where the f**k was he? Had he been zapped up by Aliens? If so I think he would have been jettisoned pretty soon when they
realise what a bullshiting bastard he is.
If he had made the cut and left us in the lurch then we only had 2 options to get home: 1. Make the long walk to the train station. 2. Hitchhike, but who seriously would want to pick 2 muddy guys who would mess up their car.

Reunited Again

At around about 7pm we went for a walk and we was near one of the entrances, it was here that we bumped into Col.
I so relieved to see, I wanted to hug him but being a guy I shouted at him “Where the f**k have you been?” He then mumbled “I got lost so I went to the car”
“But the car was parked outside the wall how did you get back in” I asked him.
“It was easy; I just asked someone who was leaving for his wristband”
I looked closely at Col’s face and I noticed he was clean shaven (he was one of those types of men who would have has a 5 -O-clock shadow if they don’t shave daily), the sneaky bastard must have plan it, to cut off to his car right from start. My spirits had been low before we met Col but now they had been lifted. There was now only one thing left to do and that was to find the nearest beer tent and get pissed. The Crucial three, The Three Amigos, The Three Musketeers were back together and were ready to party.

Guessing Games

Sunday at the Pyramid stage and the talk of the festival today centres around just who the mystery guests are, that will close the festival. With it being my first Glastonbury I naively believe the claims that The Rolling Stones are going to arrive by helicopter, or that The Beatles have reformed for the occasion, etc. Instead we are treated to Kula Shaker and Ash, both making their second appearances of the festival, as the organizers appear to have forgotten to book anyone to book anyone else. I could not believe it, f**king Kula f**King Shaker again.
We had a couple of more beers and then exited the festival and stayed the night in Col’s car. Col slept in the front and I slept in the back. Dog was going to sleep in the back with me but he lit up another reefer and mellowed out at the side of the car.

Back To Life Back to Reality

At 6am Col’s car’s engine roared into life and we was on our way back home, I sat up front with Col while the Dog snored away in the back, Col was in great spirits, chattering away happy to be going back to civilisation.
I really enjoyed my first and only Glastonbury; I do think that everyone should go to at least once and experience “Mud-Festivalling”. To those who have never been before - enjoy - whatever the weather!

P.s Doggler please read this and weep!

12 years ago this summer, on June 28, 1997, Radiohead headlined the annual Glastonbury Festival in southwest England. Rain had drenched the grounds for days, leaving the festival-goers in one huge, miserable mud pit, and prompting many of them to head home early. But when Radiohead hit the stage that Saturday night, armed largely with songs from their last two records (The Bends and OK Computer, which had been out for only 2 weeks), they were a band on a mission.
In a critics' poll a few years ago, the British magazine Q named the ensuing show the greatest gig ever. Not the greatest Glastonbury set of all time, or even the greatest Radiohead show. The BEST GIG EVER PLAYED BY ANYONE, EVER. (As another Q article later put it, "Knee-deep in mud, Glastonbury 1997 should have been a disaster. Instead Radiohead played the show of their lives.") Of course, such lists, constantly generated by the British music press, can be pretty silly, and it's impossible to say that a particular show by a particular band was the best one ever played (or even to tag one Radiohead show as their best ever, when they tend to be nothing less than spectacular night after night). But one listen to this performance will have you struggling to think of a better one. This is what a band sounds like when it is absolutely on fire, when every little thing is working just like they planned it -- the band is tight and ferocious, Thom Yorke is in gorgeous voice throughout, and the set is perfectly paced and packed with songs from two records that would go on to be considered absolute classics. And yes, they play "Creep," too.

RADIOHEAD - GLASTONBURY FESTIVAL '97

Also on the bill were:
: Phish, Echo & the Bunnymen, The Levellers, Beck, Supergrass, The Prodigy, Republica, Nancy Griffith, Ray Davies, Cast, Dodgy, Ocean Colour Scene, Radiohead, Sheryl Crow, Van Morrison, Sting, Catatonia, Kenicke, The Divine Comedy, Placebo, Ash, Reef, The Dharmas, Stereolab, Chemical Brothers, Kula Shaka, Super Furry Animals, Mansun, Finlay Quaye, Lamb, Massive Attack, Galliano, David Byrne, The Herbaliser, Youssou N'Dour, Aphex Twin, DJ Rap, The Orb, System 7, Reprazent, Primal Scream, Bentley Rhythm Ace, Ninja Tune, Daft Punk, Andy White, Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel, Nick Lowe, Billy Bragg, Beth Orton, Bootleg Beatles, Oyster Band, Alabama 3, Daily Planet, Global.. Price = £75.or Free if you climbed over the wall. Attendance = 95,000 + many more who Jibbed it in.

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Photos

Cannabis woman
Dog would have smoke her if could

Comments

[doggler]

yeah man,true glastonbury
glastonbury in its raw,truest form.a complete experience. great story p.s sorry about radiohead