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Published: November 24th 2007
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I recently attended the largest cheese festival in Britain, something I had been looking forward to since I got here in June. I was so excited about it that I even forewent a weekend in London. But what can you expect from a dairy farmer's daughter?
Last year, the cheese festival was held in the park right below my apartment, so that if it had been there again this year, I'd be looking at it right now as I type. However, one of the days got rained out last year, and there wasn't sufficient parking. (What do I care? I could have walked!) So they moved it to Abingdon, which is near Oxford, about an hour away. Seven and a half of us (one was only four years old) made the journey.
The first stop, of course, was the giant tent labeled, "Britain's Biggest Cheese Market." And how. The brochures claim that there were over 650 cheeses there. I think I tried about 427 of them.
There were cheddars, of course - oak smoked cheddars, mild cheddars, mature cheddars (the sharpest I've ever tasted - lovely), unpasteurized cheddars, cave aged cheddars (with moldy rinds). Then there were the
Cheshires. And Red Leisters. (Including the only Red Leicester made in Leicestershire.) Wensleydale (which makes me think of
Wallace and Gromit). Hard cheese. Soft cheese. Spreadable cheese. Crumbly cheese. Sheep cheese. Cow cheese. Goat cheese. Buffalo cheese. Cheese with garlic and herbs. Cheese with cranberries. Cheese with onions. Cheese with coriander. Cheese with spicy peppers. Cheese with sweet peppers. Cheese with whiskey. (Yum.) Cheese with ginger. (Yick.) Cheese covered in ashes. (Yum.) Smelly blue cheeses, including Stilton. One legendary cheese called "Stinking Bishop" that I'd been hearing about for months and wanting to try, but they didn't have any samples out. (I smelled it, though - somewhere in the old sock range.) I even tried Stilton ice cream. (It tasted like blue cheese.)
AND - there was a cheese called Scary Mary, which of course interested me. You know those movie previews for Pixar's
Ratatouille? You know how there's the rat who loves good French food, and then there's the big fat rat who's gnawing on something from the dumpster that's gray and kind of fuzzy? That's what Scary Mary looked like. Except it wasn't fuzzy. It was gray, though, and definitely looked like it had been in an alley dumpster
Mmm... Moldy Cheddar...
Although since it's in England, I guess that makes it "Mouldy" Cheddar for a few months. So of course I tried some. In a word: pungent. 😊
So, 25 minutes into this shindig, I was cheesed out. One display had lots of green apples for decoration, and they looked so appetizing - I tried to buy one, but the guy wouldn't sell it to me. He said he'd give me one if I bought some of his cheese, but at this point, I was loaded down. I had four kinds of cheddar (each with different add-ins), a pyramid of Cerney Ash (the goat's cheese covered in ashes), a small local Brie, and some spreadable garlicky cheese. I also had a loaf of bread. But then I found a booth also offering cut-up apples and pears - and after all that cheese, I swear it was the most delicious thing I'd ever tasted.
So. A break from cheese. I left the tent and found some fresh apple juice, then went into another tent that was more food-oriented. I got some hot sausages for lunch with my juice and wandered around that tent. Fresh growing herbs (many I'd never seen), microbrew beers (one of which I bought), local wines, crepes, chocolate, cookies,
raw oysters, and the ice cream. (In case you're wondering, we're now at the "uncomfortably full" stage.)
I poked my head back into the giant tent o' cheese to look for some of my compatriots and was hit by a wall of cheese smell. As the day went on, that tent got hotter and hotter (the place was packed) and riper and cheesier.
A couple other tents featured food. One focused on local British foods (veggies, mustards, lemon curd, breads, geese, etc.), and another was for food that they just can't grow in Britain (chocolates, coffees, olives, etc.) I even tried some of the coffee from Rwanda, and I don't even like coffee! It was just the whole atmosphere of all those gastronomic delights - it was amazing. I also bought fresh raspberries, some of the tart home-pressed apple juice, and an oak-smoked head of garlic. Within ten minutes of being home, it's made my giant living room (which is also the kitchen - I don't keep garlic in the living room!) smell like wood smoke. It's lovely on this cold day - almost makes me think I have a fire going. (Speaking of which - I really
Cotswold Brie
(I just had some at home on crackers, and it's not that great...) should ask my landlady if my fireplace works...)
After that I just wandered. There was another tent with big barrels of cider (I passed - I was too full of cheese). And in another tent, inexplicably, a rodeo bull ride. No idea why. At the end of the fair, I tried my hand at cheese-tossing. It's like the egg toss, where two people throw back and forth and slowly increase the distance between them. Apparently, I can huck a cheese at least 11.3 meters, which is when my partner Joe dropped it. (In his defense, it wasn't the best throw - but it got there.)
And my last purchase of the day was a basket. I've been eyeing baskets ever since I've been there, but I've been refraining from buying any, because I'll just have to ship it home. This time I caved. It's a small basket with elastic bands holding a pair of gardening gloves and a pair of shears, for going out in the garden and gathering your flowers or vegetables. Now I just need I giant straw hat and some dirt to play in.
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