"When are you off then, James?"

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My year abroad is very quickly becoming a reality. Since I've been back from university, all my friends and family keep asking me the same question- "when are you off then, James?". Each time someone asks, I have to do my little rehearsed act when I pause, frown a little (as if I am adding the days up in my head), act unsure, and say "not long now; just over a month I think." In reality, I am trying not to think about how soon I am going to be leaving. Despite being on the horizon since I knew I was going to do French and German at university, the idea that in a few weeks I will be living in another country seems as crazy an idea as if I were going to ride a camel into Argos and order a sandwich-toaster. Although it seems a bit scary, a few recent events have helped me calm my pash.

Already, I have seen the German efficiency in action. My supervisor in the school in Germany e-mailed me to welcome me into the school, to which I replied "can you help me find accommodation?" (obviously, I said more than just that). Within two days, Herr. V had not only found me a flat, but had sent me photos of it, a detailed description of the middle-aged divorcee I would be living with, and the size of my room in square metres. I didn't want to go against the British stereotype that we like to be fashionably tardy with things, so I took a day or two to reply to Herr. V. In this time, he e-mailed me several times, tried to phone me twice and also attempted to Skype me. Forced into this German efficiency, I took up Herr. V's flat offer. So, from the start of September, I will be living with a middle-aged divorced German man and his three children. While to some this may not sound too attractive, I have e-mailed my new roomie, and he seems a good person (and as efficient as any good German should be). I thought that after this communication with my supervisor and my new landlord, I wouldn't need to do much for a couple of weeks and I could put off returning forms/contracts and all that business for a few more weeks. Time just to go to work and relax at home.

Wrong-o.

At the end of a stint of consecutive 7am-3:00pm shifts at work, I got home and fell asleep on the sofa watching The Simpsons. I was then woken by my mum who was clutching the phone with her hand over the receiver whispering "there's a German man wanting to speak to you." My eyes were half-shut and my mind was in no state to think in German; but I knew I couldn't put off this conversation, because Herr. V had been trying to reach me for a week or so. Mum told him that I would ring him back in 10 minutes, when I had got out of the shower (I'm glad Herr. V doesn't know we're having the bathroom decorated at the moment and don't have a shower in), so this gave me 10 minutes to get into the German mind-set. 'What should I do?', I thought. 'Eat some Bratwurst? Read some Goethe?" Instead, I decided to have a drink of water and quickly Google 'German telephone etiquette'. It wasn't very helpful, as it seems there's not a lot of etiquette on German phones- where we would say "Excuse me, who may I ask is calling?" they say "Wer ist am Apparat" (who is on the device?) . After a few moments, I gathered the courage to call Herr. V. As the phone rang, I thought, "Oh man, do I call him Herr. V or Frank?", cos I know Germans are funny with calling each other first names. No more time to think it through, Herr. V had picked up. "Hallo, Frank?" was the opening phrase I went with. It seemed to go down all right with him, and we persisted to have a twenty minute conversation completely in German (of which I am rather proud). Before ending the conversation though, I strayed into the deadly area of "du/Sie" business. For those of you who don't know German, there are several ways of saying "you" in German; du and Sie. 'Du' is used informally between friends and young people and by superiors to their inferiors. 'Sie' is used by younger people to adults, in formal environments and to those in a higher position than you. My German tutor at uni explained the importance of using 'Sie' to new people, but I've never been a fan of playing by the rules. I cheekily explained to Herr. V that I find the 'Sie' form complicated, because I am so used to using the 'du' form. The living legend that is Herr. V then told me that he is "auch relativ jung" (also relatively young), so I can use the 'du' form with him. So now I am mates with my German supervisor after one telephone call, I am actually getting excited about going to Germany and working there. Herr. V is going to ring me back in a few weeks and he wants to speak in English to me then, but I enjoyed my German conversation so much I might just pretend I don't understand his English so I can speak German again.

So, to all of you interested in my plans, I will be off to Germany around the 7th of September. Whilst this still seems a while away yet, it's only 39 days away. 39 days ago, Luis Suarez bit Chiellini and that doesn't seem that long ago, does it?

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