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Published: October 20th 2008
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Jodi (art teacher, British) texts me and asks if I want to go out with her and a couple other co-workers of ours. Since they're coming to St. Albans, I agree to meet them at the train station. I'm already in my comfy sweatpants, so I throw on some jeans and tennis shoes and run out the door.
When I see them at the station, they're all fixed up. I feel a bit underdressed. "Are we going
out-out or just out?" I ask.
Jodi laughs, "We're just going to grab some drinks. We felt like getting dressed up."
We walk up the hill to the town centre to a pub where I haven't been before, called the Peahen. Their idea of pub grub is Middle Eastern food. So we drink wine and snack on falafel, humus, olives, and pita bread.
"I have a date tomorrow," Robin announces. She's a short, voluptuous Canadian with dark layered hair down to her shoulders and cute little nose. She's absolutely adorable.
Of course, we "ooh" and "aah" and ask for details. He's Australian and they're going to the London Zoo. "Cool date!" we approve.
She seems very unexcited. She tells me, "I've learned not to get my hopes up here. Don't hold your breath waiting for dates, Alicia."
"Seriously!" Deanna (PE teacher, upstate New Yorker) agrees. "We've been here for over a year, and we never get anything from guys. Nothing. Guys here are different from back home. They don't ask you out or for your number. They won't even come over to talk to you!"
Jodi is intrigued. "Do guys really do it that much in America?"
"Yeah!" we all nod vigorously.
Deanna says, "Back home, guys grab your ass in clubs and make comments about how hot you are. And they buy you drinks."
Jodi looks surprised, "Oh my god. That would never happen here! Well, if you want to talk to the guy, why don't you just go talk to him?"
Deanna says, "I guess that happens, but generally, that's the guy's job. The guy is supposed to be the one to approach the girl, ask for her number, call her, ask her out, all that stuff."
Robin and I agree, while Jodi looks bewildered.
"I
never buy my drinks at home. I just order water and sit at the bar, and within ten minutes, some guy is buying me drinks and chatting me up. Every time I go out, guys are turning their heads as I walk by," I say. "If I want a certain guy's attention, I can get it."
Deanna nods, "Yeah, me too, but that doesn't happen here."
Robin says, "My self-esteem has gone way down since I've been here. I feel so unattractive."
"Why are the guys here like that?" I ask Jodi.
She shrugs, "Probably because too many women have gotten pissed off and told them to fuck off. The guys are trying to be polite by not staring, and they don't want to be too forward by asking for a phone number."
Wusses.
Maybe that's why that Cambridge boy with the hat from Paris didn't ask for my number. He's just too...British.
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