Afternoon Tea at The Ritz

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What to do for my Nan’s birthday?

Let me tell you a little bit about my Nan first of all, she is an amazing woman and if there was a picture in the dictionary of ‘A Cockney Nan’ it would be her picture (if you’re not sure what a cockney is Google it or search youtube for ‘Catherine Tate Nan’ that IS my Nan!). In the past Nikki and I have taken my Nan to the theatre and other shows but my Nan doesn’t like people making too much of a fuss and is most content sat having a cup of tea & eating a cake so Nikki suggested tea at The Ritz.

As we got near the entrance the staff could see my Nan had a walking stick and asked if she would like to go through the side door instead of the revolving doors “No I’m alright boy!” she told him, as I said she doesn’t like people making a fuss. Once through the doors you are instantly hit by the grandeur and beauty of The Ritz, I felt out of my league here, for about ten seconds I considered trying to put on a posh accent to ‘blend in’ but decided against it as I didn’t want people to think I was a complete idiot.

The detail in the decoration on the walls was out of this world, my Nan and I sat for a while just looking around in awe, “Mr Nicholson your table is ready”, we were shown to our seats & I looked at the menu. A selection of sandwiches, freshly baked raisin & apple scones with clotted cream & raspberry preserve and an assortment of tea pastries including The Ritz chocolate cake, I couldn’t wait. Further down the menu there was an option to buy a birthday cake too but you had to order 48 hours in advance, I was a little bit gutted but it was too late now.

There was a choice of 17 different types of tea to choose from, as we sat drinking our tea and eating our sandwiches & cakes someone began to play old jazz songs on a grand piano. Food, drink, great music & best of all quality time with my Nan on her birthday, after a while you could tell some people had begun to request songs as he began to play music by Michael Jackson & Oasis (quite a random selection), then he began to play Happy Birthday. My Nan said “Ahhhh it’s someone’s birthday” she saw a waiter with a birthday cake “Ahhhh someone has a birthday cake” then the waiter put the cake on our table & everyone began to sing Happy Birthday and clap my Nan was speechless (it takes a lot to make that happen!), I have never seen her so happy, Nikki must have organised for the cake beforehand.

I couldn’t believe how happy my Nan was, I felt a lump in my throat as I held back the tears (yes ok I admit it I’m a big girl), it felt great to see her so happy. Nikki scored major brownie points getting the cake, I owed her big time!

I heard a woman on the table next to us say “He’s such a good Grandson” then my Nan said “I knew you had something planned”, I decided not to correct them, who am I to tell them that I had no idea that was going to happen lol.

Cockney’s are known for swearing alot, not in a rude way but swear words are common place for everyday conversations about pretty much everything, my entire family are included in that, we swear ALOT. I wondered if my Nan would be able to get through the day without swearing, not a chance! After the Birthday cake was bought to our table the two women on the table next to us began to talk to us & asked my Nan if it was her birthday today “No my birthday is Valentine’s Day and as I was born on that day my parents decided to call me Valentine” she told them, “How lovely” they replied. “No it fu**ing isn’t, I fu**ing hate my name!” I just laughed as the older of the two women sat in shock lol.

I’m usually quite a big eater but as Nikki & I are getting married in literally 13 days I have been on a diet recently, however tea at The Ritz is not cheap and although I have been on a diet I felt obliged to eat & drink as much as possible to get my money’s worth, after completely stuffing my face we finished our tea at The Ritz and headed home. When we got in the cab to go home my Nan thanked me for her present, uh oh that lump in my throat is back again, I’m not sure who was happier my Nan or me, as I said before Nikki has scored major brownie points I can’t wait to marry her!

When I got home I called Nikki & told her about everything & thanked her for organising the cake “I didn’t organise a cake” she said, I just laughed, they must have taken it to the wrong table or something lol, I still can’t wait to marry Nikki.

Unfortunately Nikki & my Mum couldn’t make it to The Ritz as they had work & there were no available days for us all to go together until August, but that gave me an excuse to write a blog about it.

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