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Before we arrived, our plan was rock solid. We had enough living money for two weeks but we would not, of course, need this amount as Victoria would be working almost immediately and I would naturally follow. It has not quite worked out that way and, as I write, it has not really worked out at all.
Despite some administrative hiccups and repetitions, Victoria has managed to work her way into 'supply' teaching quite confidently. The recruitment agencies can be rather brutal, stretching the truth in order to make their sales quota, but the work has been frequent enough for our basic lifestyle to be sustainable. From her reports the work is often difficult and demoralising but is mostly tolerable. The discontinuity and insecurity of the process, however, makes the longing for her own classroom come the start of term in September even stronger.
My employment, on the other hand, has been stalled in the pits. In fact my pit crew are in the back having a coffee while I try to figure out how an engine works. I started with quite an optimistic attitude. Although I have never had a 'real' job before, my academic cocoon had given
me the confidence to try find such security elsewhere. My initial plan was to indiscriminately seek work to provide an income whilst I fought for a more fulfilling existence. When neither of these alternatives came to fruition, I dropped the more menial option in favour of a targeted approach.
My first target had been academic teaching or research jobs but I had decided this was too ambitious, so I scaled this back to university-associated jobs (student learning centre etc) before moving onto charity and political jobs whilst still pinning for academic work. During this time I have applied to work in a bookstore, cafe, warehouse, press standards office, student recruitment office, Oxfam, unions and many more - I think I would be around 40 applications now, although perhaps only 15 of which I have really dedicate myself too the application.
In my desperation I have also tried some 'odder' options, including mystery shopping, TV extra work, freelance writing and medical research. Only the latter yielded any response, but when the caller very casually worked into the screening interview that for the particular study in which I would be involved (emphysema) I would need to not only stay in
hospital overnight for days at a time over a matter of months, but lose my ability to exercise, drink and impregnate, I decided to politely decline. After all, when you are unemployed there is not much more to do other than drink too much, impregnate women and run away to avoid a trip to the hospital. Still, the £2000 would have been handy. A latter offer of an alzheimer's drug that had never been tested on humans forced me to shelf that option.
Thus far then, my progress has been restricted to a £10 psychology test, £20 of food vouchers for displaying my understanding of medical instructions and an induction day at a catering company. Hopefully the latter will provide some work over the summer but at £6 an hour it is not really making inroads into our monthly rent, food bill and daily pedicures.
The job application process has been immensely frustrating - I never know quite where I stand or what I am doing wrong. Indeed, despite my attempts to stay positive, to not give up and to repeat motivational clichés, it is perhaps silly to personalise the process. Being employable is often not a matter of personal ability but, rather, supply and demand. Nonetheless, whilst it is comforting to acknowledge this, it is unlikely to be a comfort that our landlord would enjoy.
Much of the frustration comes with the timelag in the process - applying for jobs well before they close and being only vaguely aware of their progression makes the process a frustrating mix of hope and rejection. There is always a chance that someone will call about a previous application (which makes refreshing my email and checking my phone a frequent reminder of my frustrations and a desperate addiction) yet it feels like I am being rejected almost from the moment I start thinking about the application. Perhaps the ultimate contradiction is that despite my diminishing confidence from the constant rejection, I have to continue to write wonderful things about myself.
The failure to find work thus far has certainly been a blow to my confidence and to some extent I feel like I am letting Victoria down as we head into the school holidays where she is forced again to try to be the sole earner. I know I am essentially looking for an entry level position, but the confidence I had taken with me from my university work is now almost entirely eroded. I feel like I am starting right back at the beginning and often wonder if my qualifications are working against me. Ultimately, I have little experience and my battle is to try to convince employers that my learning compensates for this lack.
Nonetheless, there is always hope and I have applied for some jobs that I would love to take, working for Oxfam, UNISON (a public sector union) or the New Zealand High Commission. I think I have got quite good at filling in application forms and making an argument for myself but I don't really know where I might be going astray. New opportunity are arising all the time but every application comes with a large surplus of applicants. At the moment my best option appears to be to find work with the event catering company and hope for university tutoring work come September (I have applied for a number of these positions). I know that I will not be unemployed infinitely but financial demands mean that there is little time to waste.
In the next edition - How I have been spending Victoria's money
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