School, school, school...

---

This sucks... I absolutely cannot handle doing homework and studying anymore. I can´t do it. See here is the problem... how do you live your life and explore, discover, experience, learn, and create, when you are confined to being on class on time, completeing your homework, keeping up with projects, and studying for-taking tests? I have been here for 2 months right? I have adjusted to being an AMERICAN student in a foreign country, but I have not adjusted to the lifestyle of this country... in fact I feel like I barely know what the Madrilenos live like... I travel every weekend (which I love) but the problem is it is like I am only in Madrid for the cheaper plane tickets to these countries because I don´t do anything in Madrid during the week. Ex: every time i travel people are like wow you are in Madrid, they never sleep there! they party 24-7 ever night and get up early again every day.. and im like yeah well, last night i had a paper to do/test to study for/procrastination time/classes/working out... so... yeah i didnt go out. again. so my roommate and i are ´home´this weekend and I decided that i am going to be a madrilena, we had 4 glasses each of sangria for lunch yesterday + boxed wine (out of juice boxes lol) after dinner last night... in short I have decided to become an alcoholic for the next two weeks! I can say this with the certainty that their is extremely low possiblity that a. this will even happen (considering i did a paper before that box wine last night) and b. that I would ever be able to become an alcoholic in general... considering i like relatively few types of alcohol (aka i only like the stuff that doesnt taste a thing like alcohol!) so anyway i WILL have fun these next few weeks... i mean i only have this chance once... and i WILL not worry about the fact that i got a 58 percent on my last stats quiz and prolly failed the one i took today.. i am a good student, and it doesnt make any sense for me to do well in stats and completely miss the experience of living in a foriegn country. SO there. I WILL not feel bad about my grades.. they are good anyways, and I will not worry about what my teachers think of my grades, do you know that the only reason i do homework or study or complete anything for class is because i dont want teachers to think i am dumb?? how screwed up is that logic? especially considering i think my teachers (well most of them) and the stupid ones! Well anyways...

I wanna be a different person for a few weeks, I decided to be a Madrilena, and therefore I will drink, everyday. I will enjoy it. I will not worry about school or exercising or proper, well anything... I am just going to forget about everything and try to figure out why I am here. God I hope this works. I just need to completely change all of my values and ideas and priorities... yeah thats it, but if not now, when? if not here, where? if not this, what? hmmm

---