How did we miss the crocodile?

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Its 5.30am and the alarm is buzzing annoyingly. Oh well at least its buzzing. I have had another disturbed night dreaming that we missed the plane because I couldn’t find anywhere to park our hire car? What! that was returned a week ago!

We get up for a breakfast if our left overs…coco pops, choc au pain and orange juice! We are only 15 minutes walk from the bus station which has a very efficient airport bus. In fact all the Spanish buses have been very efficient. If only we could replicate this in the UK people just might start using public transport. Over the cobbles we go…we are again cursing the ‘never to see the light of day again’ suitcase that loves to jump all over the place.

We have opted for the 7.50am bus which should get us there at 8.10am - the exact time that bag drop opens. The next bus or the bus after will still work should there be any problems as they run every 20 minutes. According to google, our bus is ‘not too crowded’.

We arrive at the bus station in good time - we allowed 30 minutes for our errant suitcase! The bus area is rather crowded with homeless people and there is something decidedly dubious going on in the mens loos as I walk past. I wanted to get a photo of their tram, but maybe it wasn’t such a good idea after all.

I return to Ian and the luggage. The airport bus arrives fauve minutes early and we are allowed on board straight away (some drivers have made us wait outside till the exact hour). The air con is delicious but one thing we won’t miss is the mask wearing…which is strictly enforced. We stow our luggage in convenient storage bays - we are the only ones on the bus.

The bus leaves in time, picking up three other passengers at various stops on the way. Its still quite dark and theres very little traffic on the roads yet so the only thing holding us up is traffic lights. Observant Ian has noticed that, whilst the traffic lights do have an amber, they never use them so its always either stop or go.

We arrive at the airport in half an hour and locate our check in counter. three trolleys piled high with luggage are already queuing without their owners…if that had been Gatwick those case would have been taken away and destroyed by now!

People are starting to arrive and a long queue is forming behind the trolleys. At 8.10am exactly, the check in opens and a group of six people head over from the cafe to reclaim their bags and their apparent right to stand at the front of the queue. Its quite amusing really. But now the priority lane has also been set up so we jump ahead of them anyway. Smug haha.

OK, now for security. Usual hassle with the titanium hip but all the staff are very pleasant. Seville airport is nowhere near as phrenic as Gatwick ir Malaga.

Straight into duty free. I need to buy some Jerez sherry for my brother in law who is a sherry connoisseur. Ian is grumbling as its twice the price in duty free as buying back home…yes, but dies Morrisons own brand come from Jerez? I hardly think so!

Right, were an hour early but lets go to the gate anyway…may as well sit there to wait. Its a 15 minute walk through the airport and now we have reached passport control. Two guys at the kiosks are not exactly shout ly shouting, but certainly forcibly telling a Japanese tourist t9 get behind the line and wait. Its 08.58am and they don’t open till 9am.

At nine precisely we all file through the control, one by one and making certain not to put a single toe over the line before the desk is clear. :-) I find it helps if you say good morning to the guy in Spanish as well. :-)

We have arrived at the gate with a couple of others. Plenty of space to sit and wait. There is a huge wall mural informing us (in Spanish) about the huge crocodile - we assume it’s stuffed - hanging over the door in Seville Cathedral. We were there yesterday. How did we manage to miss that we wonder? The creature was presented to King Alfonso X in 1260 by the Sultan of Egypt on a state visit. You can only imagine the response…oh how lovely…whilst secretly thinking, can’t insult a sultan by chucking it away, so wha5 the hell shall we do with it? Oh I know…lets hang it in the cathedral as we don’t spend much time there!

The time soon flies while people watching in the airport. One young lass cannot fit her carry on into the measuring device without chopping the wheels off. She is not happy. I was feeling a bit sorry fir her until she started pushing in front of us in the boarding queue because she wanted to stay seated till the last minute but doe to think she should have to queue. Speedy boarding she hisses at Ian who is not budging. So ate the rest if us he says pointing to the back of our queue. Whilst I am silently thinking, well you can’t be speedy boarding can you luv, otherwise your case would have fitted in the larger measuring receptacle provided for those that paid the additional premium. Honestly, as if that suitcase would have fitted under the seat in front! Anyway, she soon sees she’s fighting a losing battle with Ian and nudges her way in behind him. :-)

The plane is late so we are queuing down the boarding arm whilst those that just arrived are getting off. We manage to get our carry ons in the locker above us and wait while the endless queue behind us struggles on. Its try that we can’t go till everyone is boarded, but the guy in the seat behind us has to put his stuff right at the back of the plane. he is sitting in row two so thats going ti be a right nightmare when he wants to get off. You know…when they give multiple announcements that people should stay in their seats until the seat belt sign is off and everyone stands up completely blocking the aisle!

Finally we are ready to go. For the last twenty to thirty minutes the chief steward has been telling us that we have a strict time slot and lord knows when we will take off if we aren’t all ready in fifteen minutes. The fifteen minutes never changes. The guy in the seat next to Ian finds this very amusing…no pressure there then, he laughs.

Its a nice clear day and we have excellent views for at least the first hour of the journey. I van see the black rotunda building that was near our Seville accommodation and the river as we glide past. Clear views of mountains and towns, parched fields and blue rivers. We are reliably informed that we would also have had excellent views of Madrid…if we had been on the other side of the plane. :-)

So now we are up above the clouds, time to reflect on our time in Andalusia. Well, firstly I totally misjudged the weather and wish we had come a month later. Seriously too hot for me. But what else? A few random thoughts

1. Andalusian dogs are very pesky - yapping and howling all night long.

2. Andalusian dogs produce an awful lot of crap…which their owners do not pick up…so you have to be very careful where you put your feet.

3. The mountains are gorgeous - but steep. Watch out for bully coaches!

4. Malaga was better than anticipated with plenty to see as well as the beaches.

5. Duolingo Spanish courses are not ideal for learning Spanish, Spanish…they teach Mexican, Spanish so maybe people will understand me better if I go back there instead.

6. Jerez sherries (preferably from the barrel though not necessarily by the barrel) are delicious.

7. I’m never hiring a car abroad again?

8. Face masks on the bus is a pain…especially on a 4 hour journey.

9. Spanish food is good…pity it’s served so late.

10. Buses are reliable and very cheap.

11. Never trust a taxi driver in Ronda or Córdoba.

12. My favourite swim was in a lake at Arco de la Frontier.

13. My favourite activity was walking The Caminito del Rey.

14. My favourite place was Ronda.

15. There are an awful lot of churches.

16. We both like tapas.

17. If you ask for tickets in Spanish you are less likely to get charged the additional fee for being British - Brexit is clearly a very sore subject here.

18. You can drink the tap water but it tastes bloody awful.



Ian’s random thought is, “I cant be bothered, I’ll do it later”.

We have one hour to go and we’re now getting a hilarious hard sell on products from the on board duty free shop. She can tell us all about the extra alcohol we can get for our money but (for legal reasons?) she can’t tell us that she is selling cigarettes! Do I guess its fine to damage your liver but not your lungs? And by the way, by telling us you can’t tell us that you are selling cigarettes, haven’t you just told us that you are selling cigarettes? Anyway, we don’t want anything, thanks. :-)

Back in good old Blighty. For once it’s reasonable weather so not too much of a shock to the system. The train is on time and there are plenty of taxis. And tonight it’s sooooo nice to be back in my own comfortable bed again. Whoever invented memory foam mattresses that are now in so many hotel rooms should be shot! :-)

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