The Big Irkutsk Mix-up

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I had contacts right, left, up and down in Irkutsk. My host Tatiana, Teddy the conductor from the train, Vaselina the hot girl from my coupe and then I run into an Austrian-Romanian couple from the train on the city's most prestigous hotel, where I was using the internet section.

I agreed with the couple to meet up later when we got settled, Tatiana would meet later, Teddy only had time the next day and it was a little too early to write Vaselina, I thought. Well, I was alone then. noone to take care of poor Martin.

I biked around the city, which has in the center only low houses, many built in wood with very decorative design. In a supermarket I finally found fuel for my homemade alcohol-stove, but I had no idea how to use it in a proper way. My first attempt failed badly without any explosion though. I needed to apply a tuna can under the burner to make it work.

After sitting for some time enjoying a marvelous view of the city in a quiet spot I decided to locate Tatiana's apartment before dark, as it is located in the suburbs. She was not home yet, but for how long could she be away I thought. It was extremely difficult to find the place. Crossing dangerous intersections, trying different back roads I finally got on to a street leading in the right direction. But I still had to ask around 15 times to get the right place. On the way I got a warm welcoming to the neighborhood by some fierce street dogs running after me for 500 meters barking only not getting up on me because a stream of cars cut them off. Phew.

In front of Tatiana's apartment, which is new and fancy, I was waiting while the sun went down. Tatiana called me to tell she was on the way, but it took a long time. A text popped up on my phone. It was Vaselina ready to be my guide the next day. Interesting as it seemed I accepted and dumped Teddy from the train.

A car arrived and a beautiful young girl jumped out leaving a displeased driver alone. Good that she came, as it was getting chilly and my thoughts wandered around the fact that I had not showered since the banja trip in St. Petersburg. Tatiana was over friendly and I maintained a good impression though it was quite late to let me in. I got my shower, but when I got out after 20 minutes Tatiana was already departing again leaving me in a hurry with her small noisy dog. Where or why she left she did not tell.

As soon as the door slammed the dog started yelping at an ear-deafening volume. I tried to stop it, but the attempts resulted in louder more aggressive barking. This was not cool. Eventually the dog stopped and we made friends. As I lay myself down to sleep, the dog slept with its head resting on my leg. Cute.

Next day I wake up by the door buzzard. I picked it up nervously saying in Russian that Tatiana was not home and then I hung up. It rang again but I left it unanswered. The third time it rang, I answered and in the other end a desperate voice yelled in Russian that he was not Russian, but a mere other couchsurfer, who arranged to meet with Tatiana, who now did not answer her phone. Seemingly weird to be in a strange country in a strangers apartment and taking care of this strangers appointments, but 'couchsurfing' is a kind of 'sesame, sesame open up' in my ears, so I let Justin, the couchsurfer in.

As I opened the apartment door to greet Justin, the dog sprinted out and down the stairs. Barely had we met, Justin and I, and we had a crisis on our hands. I was afraid someone would open the street door as I bewildered ran after the dog, who had no wish to join me back in the apartment but I caught it and carried it back with stretched arms as if I was dealing with a poisonous snake.

So there we were, two young handsome but utterly confused guys. We decided to leave the apartment and head downtown. Finding the bus was successful and after a short walk we sat at a European style cafe called the Belgium something. There Vaselina joined us and insisted that we went on a day trip to Listvyanka at the Bajkal. I agreed, but Justin not, which secretly pleased me, so I would have some quality time with Vaselina. I explained the situation to Justin and he nodded in consent.

At the bus station we got our bus and suddenly I got a long awaited sms. It was from my dear Copenhagen friend Katya, who coincidentally was in Irkutsk exactly the same time as me... She was actually also at the bus station in the exact same moment, but my bus was departing. And I was sitting next to the beautiful Vaselina. So Katya had to wait.

The buses in this part of the world are more like South Korean produced vans, which can contain 15 people plus the driver, and this is at least two too many. You can end up sitting on some stranger's lap for several hours, because the driver hope to make the most out of his volume. This however brought me closer to my object of desire for a 50 k drive. By the looks of the traffic this Sunday, driving along the roads in Russia totally vulnerable to cars would not be funny.

Listvyanka is a small town living of tourism. Quite beautiful views here (but nothing like Olkhon) and this is a place where people from Irkutsk come for one day to get away from the city. Vaselina told me several times that in Listvyanka the traditional diet is fish and beer.

We were in fact also quite cultural on this trip paying a visit to the Bajkal Museum, which costed 15 euro to enter. Fortunately I have a press card for situations like this, so we entered free of charge. The Museum is 10 aquariums with fish from the Bajkal and a huge tank containing a seal couple.

If I had paid the 500 rubles for the entrance, I would have demanded my money back. What a rip-off. No need to go there.

However we found the place where they sell fish. Vaselina did the talking and I did the paying. 400 roubles for a hell of a big fish, but 12 euro for a fish? Vaselina said it was a good fish, but I had got it for half using my haggling skills I'm sure. Then we bought beer and sat down to eat. Or I ate to be precise, as Vaselina does not eat fish! I was furious as I sat with a 400 gram fish in front of me to eat alone. I would never have bought that fish had I known I would eat it by myself. But it was delicious, so I forgot about the money and just enjoyed it.

Going home I got a text from Katya saying that she needed a place to stay for the night. That only gave me the option of asking Vaselina if we could stay in her flat, which she accepted. I did not want to bring home a non-couchsurfer to my host. So I rang Tatiania to say I would not be sleeping at hers this night. This call started a long line of calls between Tatiana, Justin and me. They were very confused and could not understand I was not coming home. But there was two special ladies I had to attend to.

Arriving in Irkutsk Vaselina went home, while I located Katya. Upon seeing Katya in the distance and her noticing my arrival we ran towards each other in a movie-like sequence ending with her jumping to my wide stretched arms. This is needless to say immediately added to the list of awesome...

Katya had three friendly travelers with her and to my great frustration she wanted to send them off at the train station, so in the end we arrived at Vaselina's place at one in the morning. Me and Katya slept in one room and Vaselina in another. I told Katya about my admiration for Vaselina and we talked about Russian women and how to get with them. Katya being a Russian woman is an authority on this subject. She told me that fooling around with single Russian women are virtually impossible, and that I would have better luck with those in relationships. Not my experience from St. Petersburg (Where Katya is from), but it could apply to the eastern parts.

Next day Katya and I chilled in downtown Irkutsk before a heart-warm farewell before I went home to Tatiana's to grab my stuff. There Tatiana convinced me to stay for dinner, and I taught her to cut onions in speedy Magnus style. Her, Justin and I chatted and dined and everything was now cool between all of us, so I went away to Olkhon on my beloved blue bike with spirits high...

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