♫ Moscow! Moscow! Drinking vodka all night long! ♫

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Let’s start by learning how to say hello in Russian! “Does your arse fit ya.” Say it out loud (you know you want to!) Now say it a bit quicker and mumble it slightly in the manner of having downed a few too many potent Russian vodka shots: Diz yr arz fitya = Здравствуйте = hello!

FUN FACT! There was once a beautiful old church in the centre of Moscow built on brick and marble. Enter Stalin and his quest to rule with a communist iron fist and he destroys the church to build the ‘largest building the world has ever seen.’ Unfortunately for Comrade Stalin, architects declare that due to the river being so close, a building of such monumental scale could not be built, so instead the world’s most expensive swimming pool was constructed. And due to it being Moscow (as in COLD) it wasn’t exactly a hit, so they refilled the pool and rebuilt the church in a bizarre and very VERY expensive circle of life.

However the marble of the original church did not go to waste; it is now used in the uber glamourous Moscow Metro Station. The Moscow Metro has marble walls and ceilings, beautifully constructed mosaics depicting vital moments in Russian history, colourful stained glass motifs and sparkling gold chandeliers, bronze statues of Soviet heroes (and their dogs); not too mention that the trains run no more than 3 minutes apart. I think certain Transport Ministers could learn a thing or two here.

During our visit to Red Square and after 500 photos were added of St Basil’s Cathedral to my ridiculously massive collection of Kodak moments, we did a ‘tour’ of Lenin’s Mausoleum. I use the term tour loosely; we waited about 30 minutes in line before being allowed inside, passed about 25 soldiers all reminding us that there is to be no talking, laughing, and all hats off and hands out of pockets as we spent all of 3 minutes walking around the softly lit body of Lenin. CREEPY. Outside his Mausoleum were the graves of maybe 10 or so other Russian politicians/leaders including Stalin, who we almost missed because his gravestone looked the same as the others, and was given no extra special attention, which we thought was a bit random. Sure, millions of people died under his rule, but the same happened with Lenin. Why the favouritism?

Afterwards we had a guided tour of the Kremlin, and because I am a terrible listener I don’t remember a thing that was said. Everything except the story of the massive cannon that was created, the biggest cannon in the world during its time, but unfortunately for the Russians, the cannonballs were created too big to fit inside! Awkward. The churches in Russia are amazing, and the Orthodox churches inside the Kremlin are no different. The displays, paintings and statues are so incredible, it almost made me want to, god forbid, attend mass! At random, 5 priests came out of nowhere and started singing with their amazing voices an acapella version of some Russian religious song. They were INCREDIBLE and their voices bounced and echoed off the walls of the domed shaped cathedral and I swear I got goosebumps all over. It was amazing.

We visited the Armoury during our trip to the Kremlin and saw the ridiculously over the top and clearly expensive items of Russia’s richest families in history. Crazy beautiful ball gowns, handkerchiefs, high heeled shoes, fans and purses a la The Tudors; horse carriages and sleighs that had been given as gifts to certain daughters of Tzars (I am so adding a sleigh to next years birthday list....) Faberge eggs, gold and ruby encrusted covers of the Bible, dinner sets and emerald bejewelled cutlery, suits of armour, huge swords and shields... it was amazing and I loved every minute of it!

I loved Moscow so much. I wasn’t expecting to like it but I think it’s my favourite city of my trip so far. Go Moscow!!

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