THE EUROKEV TRANSFORMATION

---

As we are about to embark, Maria has decided that I need a makeover.I did protest feebly, but these things are not really worth resisting.What defence I had mustered was met with a general description of my daily garb as that which would be worn by a bum.

Women can be so cruel, and those of the wifely variety, the most cruel of all.

So it began. A haircut, innocent enough.And I must say that Maria did an excellent job.I must have stared at myself in the mirror for an hour and a half.

I began to feel comfortable. Then the razor came out again, and it came toward my brow.
Maria had determined that the eyebrows must be modified.

More feeble protests on my part, met with the declaration that my fuzzy forehead made me look like a terrorist.

Oh, so now it is a question of national security. Well, when you put it that way.....

So, it was accomplished. The upper part of my face never had so much space before. Then, a puzzling suggestion was put forth that I should try growing a goatee.

Less hair on the top and more on the bottom? How does that work? And it is not that I have such a great preference as to whether I am clean shaven or a fur bearing creature, its just that I worry about the dangling follicles getting caught in the crevice of my double chin.

The EuroKev Transformation comes with a full wardrobe change and suggestions ( a.k.a. firm instructions) as to how the dashing Euromale should act.

Oh yes, and if any of you have diet regimens that could have me lose about 30 lbs in 48 hours, Maria would be happy to hear about it.

If I am not met with a pulsing mob of paparazzi with flash bulbs bathing my form in a celebrity glow, I will be thoroughly
disappointed. This moment would be best attended by the launch of my new line of fragrances ( working titles include Scent of a Newf, or possibly, Crouching Flounder Hidden Lobster)

House of Vitton, I await your calls and offers.

---