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First things first. We decided to stay at this hostel another night instead of taking a night train to Prague. It just rocks too much, and we will leave for Prague, Czech Republic, in the morning. Now onto more serious, less logistical writing.
Today we visited Auschwitz concentration camp. It's Kate here, by the way, Ian will post too. We both want to type our own experiences because something like this is extremely moving, and no two people will feel the exact same way.
Upon arriving, I felt a mixture of conflicting emotions. I was nervous, excited, scared, curious, and awkward. The area outside of the camp was actually quite beautiful with tall green trees. The day was beautiful too, bright blue skies with patches of fluffy white clouds. I couldn't help but think that it didn't seem appropriate for the weather to be so nice at such an awful place.
As you enter you see dozens of dark red brick buildings surrounded by layers upon layers of barbed wire fences. The first thing I noticed was the gate which read "Arbeit Macht Frei" which is German for "Work brings freedom." It's wrot iron and is very eerie, let alone untrue. Here the prisoners would come back to camp after working hard labor 12 plus hours each day.
Each building is labeled with a number like "Block 4." Some are open as a museum, and have 3 levels of displays and information teaching us what went on in each room. Many of them have very graffic pictures, and I didn't expect them to be so uncensored... but I guess it's appropriate. Ian and I had to stop many times just to catch our breath, and I walked through most of the rooms with watery eyes.
The steps of the buildings are all worn down. It shows how many people have walked through there. There were rooms with piles of shoes, luggage, and eye glasses. It really hit me how many people went through Auschwitz, and how many died there. There was a room with pots and pans. Heaps and heaps of them. Many of the people were sold fake land as a way to lure them unexpectedly to the camp. I couldn't help but think how tragic it was to look at these pots and pans and think that their former owners thought they'd be cooking dinner with them. Little did they know what fate awaited them.
We walked inside of a gas chamber and you could sense the terror in the air. Back when Auschwitz was in operation, this chamber had shower heads attached to the top, and prisoners were told they were just taking a shower in order to keep the peace. So many people unknowingly walked into their death here. There are pictures of them outside of the chambers, some are even smiling. They had no idea they were looking death in the face.
I can't even describe the rest of it to you, there was too much. Only the feelings I felt, I suppose.
At one point, Ian reached for my hand and I broke down. We walked outside and I stared at the barbed wire fence and the guard towers and cried. I used to think everyone was good at heart. I feel as though a bit of that belief was shattered today. There is so much I don't understand. So much anger and agression raged inside of me and mixed with the overwhelming sadness to form deep rooted confusion. I don't think I have ever felt more ashamed to be human before. The things that humans are capable of is insane. 6 million plus people died in the Holocaust, and they were treated as though they were garbage. Why do we do this to one another?
There was an execution square where thousands upon thousands of people were beaten, hung, or shot to death. At the far end of this square is the Execution wall. This is the wall you see in the background of countless pictures from Auschwitz in which people are being killed by a firing squad. I entered the square alone, I think it was a little much for Ian to take, and walked to the wall. I stood facing it and meditated on it for awhile. As I stared at the bricks, I thought of the thousands of people who stood right where I did and stared at the same bricks, knowing that they would be dead in less than a minute, wondering what it would feel like, wondering what death was like, and wondering what would happen to their family when they were gone. I felt for a second the panic of that spot, and couldn't help but tear up again. I had wanted to take a picture of the wall originally but I couldn't bear to do it. Taking pictures at all made me feel disrespectful in a way, and I just couldn't bring myself to take one in the square.
There are so many things flooding my head. Would I be able to survive if something like this were to happen to my family and me? I don't think so. I wonder if I would give up, and let my body fail me. Also, so many people sacrificed their own lives to save others. Would I be able to do that? Or would I be selfish and look out for myself? I'd like to think I'd help others...but it's so hard to tell, and I don't like that I question that.
Definitely the most moving, thought provoking, and tragic place I have ever been. Words can't describe it. As we grow older, we have a chance to make the history lessons from grade school become more than just words on a page. Today I ventured into a part of history. Before I went, I was so "excited" to see Auschwitz. I am no longer excited about it. I think it was important, and I amglad I went, but it's not like the other landmarks I have seen that have become a sort of conversation piece.
After wandering around Europe and seeing architecture and societies that have been around for thousands of years, it really puts into perspective that this happened so recently. We are not as far from it as we like to think, and things like this are STILL going on around the world.
Human life is so precious... I just don't understand what happened. I don't understand why it happened. I don't think I ever will.
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Sheryl
non-member comment
Not so brave
Please share with Ian. I feel your sorrow. I am crying with you as I read both of your stories. I understand the importance of a place like this and the life altering conclusions. But I don't think I would be so brave to go there as you have. I am thankful that you have shared your experience with me. I too feel that there is so much more we can do to improve the human race and help others. Thank you. I love you.