13. The longest night

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'This is practically out in the open' I think to myself as I wake up from a short nights sleep in the bushes. My body isn't covered in mosquito bites so I am probably mentally a little off center and overreacted the night before.
I knock on my relatives door once more in hopes that they are home and I keep trying until noon. It seems as if they are not coming back anytime soon and I had best be on my way. I have aquaintences in the town of Emmeloord which is nearby and is in fact where my mother grew up. Going by train is out of the question as the train simply does not go in that direction. On the map it's only 30 km as the crow flies (i love that expression), and I feel as if I could walk that in my sleep. The walking is not in fact as easy as I remember it to be and I am underpacked in the vital department of water supply. With a strict rationing system in place I make it to the town of swifterbant and resupply. Accidentally I buy mineral water and quickly pour it out, dying of thirst would almost be better than having to drink mineral water. Further on I cross a very large bridge on foot and feel very foolish and unsure if I'm supposed to be in the huge empty lane.
The 30km or so is the most physically painful part of the journey thus far and its not until sunset that the lights of Emmeloord are seen. The routine of memorizing city maps and then trying to remember is now normal. After getting lost several times I finally find the house I seek and knock repeatedly with a little more emphasis than usual. There is no reply and I curse my fate once again. How is it possible, I just want to sleep in a bed for one night and have a hot shower. Since this does not seem likely tonight I have no choice but to sleep in the woods once more. I limp to a spot nearby and try to get some sleep. The nights are cold, in fact the only way I can sleep at all is to lay on my stomach with my arms crossed. This is in fact much warmer than the fetal position.
After only a few hours I feel the pitter of rain and I simply try to ignore it. This is a poor decision as it only gets worse, as its turns into a very heavy rain. I lay in a puddle of water completely soaking and shivering but I have nowhere to go. I try to simply sleep and it works to the point where I can sleep for a few minutes at a time but the storm continues through the night and I can do nothing. I have given up and simply concede to it and ask god what could possibly be the benefit of having to endure this. I try convincing myself that crying would be fitting and acceptable, but its probably been ten years since I have, so I can only muster a pathetic wimper. My waterproof backpack would of protected my stuff had I remembered to close it. In the morning I shove my wet possesions into the backpack and whip my soaking wet sleeping bag into a tree in a fit of rage. To top it all off lightning had hit a sizeable tree that fell within a few feet of where i had been sleeping, and yet I hadn't noticed. My passport as far as I can tell is damaged beyond repair, which is probably not a good thing. That was the most unpleasant night I have ever experienced and I really just want to go home.
This is it, no more, I promise myself that I will not go through this again and that I will buy a ticket home no matter what the cost. It looks as if I will fail and not last the 40 days. Using the last shred of common sense I have remaining I collect my sleeping bag from the tree and start to think of the best way to get home. Before I can do anything I have to get to Amsterdam.

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Comments

[Robinski]

so phil I read the whole thing in one night, including the end, you have impecible memory to get it all down to such detail. I truly respect you for journaling such eventful and adventurous...... adventures, its honest and unbridled, very fresh.. im first in line for your first published book (im sure there will be one)