Amsterdam

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The dutch have a term they use called "gezellig" used to describe their relaxed state of mind and way of life. I don't think Smic and myself posess "gezellig" at all :P

I mean, I walk REALLY slowly and people in Amsterdam walk way too slowly for me. Smic walks really fast so err...no "gezellig" there. Perhaps this is the Sydney way of living coming through but walking through hundreds of stoned people amongst hundreds of tourists can get a tad frustrating after your 5th or 6th day there. Amsterdam would've been amazing for shopping if you had money flowing out of your ears - I loved imagining myself in all the gorgeous shoes and clothes haha! Other than that, the main strip held many souviner shops & restaurants offering "tourist menus"...which we assumed we should avoid at all costs.

Although, don't get me wrong - we really did enjoy our time in Amsterdam but I think it's a place you can visit in a few days if you're not intending to smoke it up.

So there it is, we didn't actually go into a coffeeshop. Is that weird? I think it's where we may have been at fault when it came to learning "gezellig" but not to worry, we did plenty of other fun stuff!

Smic and Bee Dandy:

First impressions & Sex Museum:

So within 5 mins of being in Amsterdam i was stopped and question by police at the station. Had two officers come up to me at the station and start talking to me in dutch until they realised i had no idea what they were saying then switched to english. Have no idea why I was stopped but they checked my passport through a database, question me on what I had been doing, who I was with, what I was carrying and a few other questions. Luckily I have no outstanding warrants in Holland so I was free to go after my passport checked out.

Later on that day we went exploring and ended up walking around for about 5 hours in total just looking around and eventually taking a squiz at the sex museum. The sex museum is a collection of sexual items from history, they have pornographic photos from the 1800s, statues and carvings from the past 2,500

years, areas dedicated to the Red light district, explanations of fetishes and all things strange related to sex. They have lots of novelty objects such as a giant penis which is probably about 12 foot tall. The fact they have pronographic drawings from the 1700s, carved sexual organs from as early as 500bc and a collection of cakes shaped into, well shall we say certain parts of the human anatomy. All this makes walking through the 3 levels interesting to say the least. Sex is apparently a very open issue in Amsterdam and this museum is probably the ultiamte encapsulation of this.

Bee Dandy: Animal fetishes are icky times a million. I liked the cakes though. You can listen to recorded phone sex conversations. This museum is massively tacky but also lots of fun and value for money hahaha.


Heineken experience:

Probably the best thing I did in Amsterdam was drag Bee Bee to the Heinekein experience which is a tour created by heineken through one of their breweries. The tour, which was recently revamped to include the 'Brew you' Ride was created so you can walk through it at your own pace and enjoy the history of Heinekein without a tour guide. It was an awesome day, not only for the two free beers you get which are newly brewed and ice cold (Three for me because Bee Bee didnt want one of hers!), but for the wealth of info they give you in regards to the creation process and history of this great beer. Along the way you find employees who give you some intersting facts, explain processes, teach you the art of drinking heinekein and a whole heap more. The dutch accent makes the tour that much more enjoyable haha as they all sounds so happy when speaking english. During the tour we also bought a custom made Heinekein bottle which has Smic & Bee Dandy printed on the label =) haha suckers! I know, everyone we saw close by us got one and they cost 5 euro a pop so they would make a fair bit from them but worth it none the less. The only let down was the fact the Heineken horses which go out for rides daily drawing a cart filled with new kegs of beer werent there as construction on the road outside had closed down there entrance to the stable. All in all the day was awesome though =)

Bee says: If you're a girl being dragged onto the tour don't worry - all the dutch boys that work there are HOT! I love their accents, oh and the tour was actually really fun because it's so interactive - When you get brewed it's actually one of those interactive simulator rides (Like in QUESTACON!), they spray water on you when you become a part of the beer mixture and the room gets filled with bubbles when the beer goes through the fermentation process. I still don't like beer though, sorry Heineken 😞

P.s: Check out my outfit in the Heineken tour photos...it is true backpacker fashion!

Poezenboot - The floating cats of Amsterdam:

Poezenboot is not the most popular tourist destination in Amsterdam but a unique one we had to check out. Henriette Van Weelde is the true cat lady because in 1966 she found a stray mum cat and her kittens living under a tree opposite her house so she decided to look after them. People brought cats to her that they couldn't look after until she had no room so she bought a boat for them to live in. Now there's two boats and it's a registered charity that is home to stray cats. Pretty cool place to visit right? Well, it was. We only went onto one boat, it was little but kept in really good condition and has lots of toys and a giant scratching post thingy that even I wanted to play with...it is a bit stinky but you get used to it :P. There was about 10-15 cats when we were in there and they were all sleepy. We were told not to make eye contact with one as he didn't like this and would attack us. Smic had pet that one a couple of minutes before and it had lashed out at him haha. Some of them were a bit jumpy, which made me sad because you could tell they had been street kittys 😞 We bought a postcard, calender & keychain & gave them all the change we had on us lol. Poezenboot is at the top of the Singel canal, which happens to be a really gorgeous part of Amsterdam. It's quiet and treelined and the apartments are really cute. There were a couple of girls in some windows so we assumed we must've been close to the red light district. It also looks like there are some nice cafes around there too & I could smell sasuage sizzle the whole way back, mmm.

Smic: It was fun to go see all the cats but made me miss Forze all the more. Ever since then I have been pretty homesick for my little kitten!

Red Light District:

We went to the Red Light district on Friday, our 5th night there because we assumed it would be the busiest and safest time. The neighbourhoods between it and our hostel were so quiet that I thought we were lost. On the way there I spotted a flyer for the "Amsterdam Festival" where Ophidian is playing under one of his other alias' "Meander"! As soon as we found the Red Light District, Smicy made me put my handbag in between us and grabbed my hand hehe. It's not so much the area that is dodgy but the drunk/stoned people that are there. It took a while for us to see anyone but males walking around and when we did finally did I realised she was walking to her window for work, but as we walked further down there were lotssss of tourists, boys and girls. We had a look in a few windows at the girls but it just made both of us feel a bit uncomfortable, no matter what they say about the industry being different in Amsterdam none of the girls look happy to be where they are. We went into a sex shop and looked at all the novelty stuff. It's pretty much exactly how you'd imagine it, the only thing I found out of place was a packed bar that had lots of trendy people in there.

Thats our first couple of days, part 2 of this blog will cover the rest of Amsterdam

Word of warning, half of page 2 and all of page 3 contain photos from the sex museum!!!

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Photos

Horses!!!!
Bee Bee loved these, but at 35 Euro a pop for a 20 min tour she didnt love them enough!

Madam Tussaud's
We didnt actually go but heres a photo of the outside!

Bee Bee and second giant bag!
This is our second giant bag find of the trip! Bee Bee should carry this one around...

Smicy the slaveeeeee
working hard for the money!