Part 8: Vilnius (Days 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)

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Lithuania almost didn't make the cut for this tour. We chose to go to Vilnius because it was reckoned to be the easiest city to obtain a visa for neighbouring Belarus. As it was, we ended up getting them before we left home but rather than realign our meticulously-planned itinerary, we decided to give it a go.

We scheduled four nights here, and as the frustratingly pedestrian train gradually clunked through mile after mile of unremarkable countryside, we confided in each other that 96 hours may be excessive.

For Vilnius is not a big city. And according to our Lonely Planet oracle, there's no real reason to linger long outside the 1.5km long Old Town (admittedly the largest of its kind on the continent). But it would be the longest we have dwelled in one city so far.

Having bodyswerved an excessive taxi fare in Warsaw, sadly we were not so savvy here. Our slightly scary cabbie and Si seemed to have agreed a fee of three Litai (about 75p) for the 2km journey on entering. However, the writing was on the wall when there were no seatbelts and our driver, whose hands more hirsute than Si's head, manically charged around the Old Town showing scant regard for traffic signals and pedestrians, as though they were something that only other people worried about. Hearts racing and palms sweating, we got out only to find that the driver had actually been quoting 30 Litai. Welcome to Vilnius.

Luckily the Hotel Ambassador, a no-frills two star affair, was right in the middle of what action went on here. So it didn't take us long to get out for food at a curry house called Sue's Indian Restaurant. Yes, we know, we are philistines, but I would possibly have tried to eat the hotel furniture had we not made haste and got some quick tucker. No-one who knows me will be surprised to learn that I had a "British style" Chicken Tikka Masala. Authentic Lithuanian cuisine, honest.

Weary after our marathon ten-hour journey, we grabbed a few Lithuanian beers and chilled out ready for a day of sightseeing on Friday.

The day began with a stroll along the road to see the white-walled cathedral and Gedeminos Hill and castle. We had to take a furnicular lift up to the tower high above the city, but the four Litai we paid was well worth it for the awesome panoramic view. It was a fine way to kick off the day.

Vilnius's Old Town is extremely pretty and teems with churches whose architects seemed determined to out-do one another. If you really like attractive churches, Vilnius is for you. After a while though, we grew a little tired of them and the drizzle wasn't helping matters. This city is the furthest north we will be and the weather was notably cooler than in Poland. My comment of "once you've seen one church you've seen them all" was not the finest cultural contribution of my life.

There seemed to be a few more beggars than in Poland, and one chap limped up to us and asked us if we would give him some money so he could go to hospital for his leg. He lifted his trouser leg to show us a bandage covering a pretty nasty wound. However, we opted not to give in, leaving him to hobble off with a parting shot of "you are bad peoples". Maybe we are, who knows.

During our wander round town we did at least sample some of the local cuisine, with a delicious neck of pork at a restaurant for lunch.

After last week's sombre visit to Auschwicz, it seems that Friday is genocide day on Si and Jai's tour of Europe. This week we headed to the former KGB headquarters just down the road from our hotel, to see the former Soviet prison where the Red Army tortured and killed thousands of Lithuanians between World War II and the 1980s.

The basement prison features a narrow corridor lined with former cells, some of which have been preserved. One of the most disturbing sights was the water pools. Ice cold water filled these pools, about three metres in diameter, and in the middle was a small stand about a foot wide. Prisoners had to stand there, wearing just their underwear, for up to five days and nights. If they fell asleep, they would naturally plunge into the freezing waters. You have to wonder what kind of mind thinks these things up. Elsewhere in the prison were harrowing photographs of dead bodies, paraded around towns by the Soviets to warn people against stepping out of line.

There's nothing like a bit of death and suffering to bring the mood down, and so after another cultural feast for dinner (pizza!) we opted to return to the hotel, saving Vilnius's nightlife for the following evening.

It's fair to say Lithuania is not a big footballing superpower. Basketball is the national sport here and the atmosphere in bars when a bit of ball is being televised is apparently comparable to a big World Cup football match involving England back home. By the time we had sorted ourselves out and got out on our third day here, it was Saturday afternoon, which can only mean one thing - football.

Certainly not marriage, but try telling the good folk of Vilnius that. We must have walked past five or six smartly dressed wedding parties on another stroll through the Old Town. We hopped over the bridge to Uzupis, a district that declared itself independent and even has its own tongue-in-cheek constitution mounted on a wall. Amongst other things, it declares that a dog has the right to be a dog, which I imagine is a huge relief to the canines residing this side of the river Vilnia.

By the time we had a cheap lunch in a burger bar (we opted against ordering a "child burger" from the menu), it was approaching 2pm. It was clear. With Lithuanian football played on Sundays, we needed to find a pub that showed a bit of English football.

A quick bit of research in a local internet cafe lent two possibilities. 'Ringbar' in the Old Town, and a sports bar in a complex 2km away north of the water. We walked the ten minutes to the former. It opened at 8pm. With time running out, Si argued that it was time for us to renew our faith in Eastern European taxi drivers. We paid 20 Litai to travel over to the Forum Palace complex, where we were sure we would walk into a busy bar with big screens and sports fans baying. After about ten minutes of trying to negotiate the confusing signage inside the complex, we found it. It is now a gym. Bollocks.

We walked despondently back over the river, bemoaning the lack of facilities for the sports fan in Vilnius. We also blamed the population for not demanding more. We both wanted a little taste of home and I've definitely never been that bothered about missing the overrated and overhyped Premiership.

Realising that solace could only be found in drink, we decided to pop into a pub with a Guinness sign. There was a big screen. It was showing motorcross. More in hope than expectation, we asked the barman if he could skip through the channels to find some football. Shooting us a pitying half-grin that he must have perfected on several other English expats over the years he reluctantly agreed. Lo and behold, a Russian station was showing Everton against Portsmouth. It was half time and Pompey were two up. It was game over. But we were delighted and tipped our new hero accordingly. However, our ecstasy was tempered when we discovered our beloved Southend United were being tanked 5-2 by Walsall.

Dinner was naturally had in front of the TV here, and we didn't move until around 9pm. Well actually we did. Being only a couple of blocks from our hotel we pathetically took it in turns to go and get ready for an evening on the tiles (or cobbles as it is here). Me during the half hour window between the Everton game and the match between Arsenal and Newcastle, and Si at half time in the latter. Tragic. Normally I would rather watch paint dry than Arsenal. Amazing what three weeks away can do to you.

We had heard Vilnius is a raucous party when the sun goes down, and we intended to take full advantage. First, we hit a couple of pretentious cocktail bars to fuel Si's penchant for Pina Colada's. One of them had beautiful waitresses who engaged us in conversation and seemed interested in our trip. They probably do it to everyone to get them to stay for another extortionately-priced White Russian, but we weren't falling for that old chestnut and headed towards Ringbar to see what it was like when it was actually open. At this stage we were accosted by a pushy promotions man trying to get us into his strip bar. Where we would probably have been given a huge drinks bill and forced by the bouncers to pay in money or pain. Oldest trick in the book, so we got out of there sharpish and headed across to a club called Connect.

It was brilliant, cool music and a ration of about five women to every bloke. You really couldn't fail to pull in here. But you could fail to get a drink. One beleagured barman served the entire club and operated a queuing policy based on breast size. As my mammary glands are considerably smaller these days, this rather pushed me down the pecking order. It took 25 minutes to get the drinks in.

Bollocks thought I, so we moved on to a lively pub before settling on a huge two-floored club where I tried out my dance moves on a lucky brunette. A couple of other blokes had the same idea though and I wasn't really bothered or sober enough for a contest, so left it. We eventually rolled in at about 5.30am. Vilnius may be quiet during the day but it certainly comes alive at night.

We had been due to watch local side Vetra Vilnius in action that Sunday but their fixture had been moved to midweek, and with Zalgaris Vilnius away from home, we had no football to watch. Hungover to extreme, we went back to our new favourite pub to watch Chelsea V Spurs before heading back to the hotel for some downtime.

This city is far easier for English speakers than Poland, with many signs written in both languages. It also felt a little wealthier and safer than Poland, although we didn't venture outside the tourist areas. But the following day we would be well and truly out of our comfort zone. Destination Belarus, probably the least visited country in Europe. The adventure really starts here.

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Photos

Vilnius Cathedral
The white frontage of Vilnius Cathedral, a stones throw from our hotel.

Gediminas Castle
The raised turret of Gediminas Castle.

River Neris
View of the River Nevis from near the Royal Palace

Gediminas Castle
Close-up of the tower.

Apologize
No, I refuse. It wasn't my fault.

Vista of Vilnius
View from the tower at Gediminas Castle.

Vista of Vilnius
A view of another part of the city from the castle.