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July 22nd 2008

Published: July 23rd 2008

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Dr Jon

Billboard

This billboard is in front of the university. I'm not sure what to buy. Maybe extra strength Drain-o.

This summer the Vaud School for Engineering and Business (better known by its French acronym, HEIG VD) is hosting ten students from San Jose State, ten from CSU Long Beach, and ten from Arizona State. These students are joined by 30 Swiss students. For the next three weeks they will be taking intensive courses in subjects ranging from Bioinformatics to Internet Security. My course, Artificial Societies, doesn't begin until tomorrow, but I interrupted my stay in Italy to shoot up to Lausanne to check on my "kids". They all arrived and were safely tucked away in their dorms.

I'm not sure to what extent I should feel responsible for them. There are other professors from San Jose State who are here, and most of the "kids" are graduate students. Still, I felt a pang of guilt when returning from a wine reception with several students and one pointed out that the kid who passed out from drinking too much was from San Jose State.

My apartment is a loft in an old house. Although it's not centrally located, it is across the street from a Metro stop, so I can be in downtown Lausanne in 15 minutes. One of my

Le Loft

This is my loft. It's a studio apartment with a nice wooden bar between the kitchen and the living room/bedroom.

first orders of business was to fill the refrigerator. There are several large, well stocked grocery stores nearby, but food is incredibly expensive. I have become numb to the prices. Here are some samples:

* boneless chicken breasts: $10.45/lb
* ground beef: $8.18/lb
* pork chops: $20/lb
* lamb chops: $25/lb
* horse meat (!): $16.80/lb
* rabbit meat (!): $10/lb

I'm told that this is because they don't mass produce meat in Switzerland. Maybe they don't have farm subsidies. Maybe this is the actual cost of food. Maybe this is our future.

On Thursday my friends Cay and Chi arrived with their 18 month-old twins: Charlotte and Emily. We joined the students on a cruise of Lake Geneva. Emily was in a bad mood and wouldn't settle down. Charlotte was fine as long as Uncle Jon was holding her, but every time I set her down she yelled "Mommy" and climbed into the lap of the first Asian woman she saw. It was a little embarrassing for me. I guess they all look the same to her.

When I ran out of things to do I hopped on the train for Domodossola, which

Les Pleiades

This place is a short train ride and a hike from my apartment.

is a little town in Northern Italy that I can reach using my Swiss Rail Pass. From Domodossola I took an incredibly scenic narrow gauge train over the Simplon Pass to Locarno, which is back in Switzerland. From there I caught a ferry that took me to the town of Stresa, at the Italian end of Lake Maggiore.

I chose Stresa on the recommendation of my friends Steve and Corrine. Thanks guys for sending me to the most romantic f*cking place on the planet. How I loath couples. My hatred for them is only surpassed by my contempt for happy families.

I miss Debra. Without her I go insane and become Dr. Jon, International Man of Mystery. I'm not here to enjoy myself like those other rubes. I'm here to reconnoiter, to overhear, to size up. I extract information from brochures and train schedules. Surely no ordinary tourist could do that. I check my watch frequently. In cafes I sit in the rear corner. If I feel like I'm being followed, I duck into a shop. No one is above suspicion. Not even me.

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