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Published: October 9th 2012
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Dinner at Campo di Fiori Picture this: A grown Italian man. Hair oil slicked, crisp Armani suit, obnoxious Louis Vuitton briefcase. Smoldering eyes. Probably still living with his mother...although this information is irrelevant. Perhaps a cleft chin? But alas, you can't tell because of the perfectly rugged 5 O'Clock shadow gracing his chiseled jaw. Smug look as if he just snuck a roofie into your meatball. Walking down the street while licking, licking, licking away at a giant cone of gelato. Licking away ferociously at this frozen treat in hopes of saving his Rolex from rogue drops of cioccolato. I immediately feel the urge to swap his briefcase with a balloon, pat him on the head and say, "Good game Billy, you get a whole snow cone." I see this everyday and I refuse to grow accustomed to this image. It is simply unnatural. As unnatural as washing your hands after you pee...don't judge me. Don't shake my hand either.
This blog starts in 3...2...1... 3: The number of Basilicas I correctly identified and gained entry into (totally redeemed myself)
2: The number of diet cokes I have had in 30 days (you're welcome dad)
1: The number of crusty cats I touched
The Drunken Ship
Looooove this for totally ambiguous reasons this week (unsure of a parenthetical thought to insert...Purell)
The bottom line is that I'm in love with a woman. I found her wandering aimlessly on the crowded Spanish Steps with my awesome B in L. The only way I can express our threesome fling is through this elementary styleless poem:
Still peddled my bike to the steps on Friday
Ran into her roaming around, that ish cray
White wine and tuna salad lunch for three
I didn't touch the check, thanks E
Tour of the vatican in dress code violation
Ciampini's chestnut gelato world's best creation
Three bronze coins in the Trevi fountain
Up to the terrace for a view of the mountains
Red wine, prosciutto and melon
Gypsy poker for the gypsy felon
Crusty cat guest at dinner, please stay
Waitress fed it pizza to be kept at bay
Old school waiter niente English
Piazza Navona you can't fire me psh
Guardare the crazy magic trick dude
Put a coin in his wig so he can buy food
Dinner at campo di fiori and drinks at Drunken Ship
This is Italy yo, I aint gotta tip
Apps and wine at the Franchetti's
Popped champagne
Crusty Cat Friend
I will admit this one time...I immediately regretted touching this cat. with a machete (no we didn't but I've always wanted to)
Dinner at roof top restaurant hotel
A tasty Cappuccino farewell
I miss you Angelica and E, it was a blast!
Alice Update: Apparently I've gained some popularity amongst Alice's school friends. They think I'm cool because of the way I braid Alice's hair and because I can do a back walkover and all three splits.
Alice begged me to demonstrate the walkover to a slew of her bratty friends one day after school. I refused for obvious reasons. Blamed it on the jeans I was wearing. But in reality I wasn't sure my back could even bend like that anymore! So I went home and stretched and stretched in hopes that the next day she would ask again for a demonstration. And I would nonchalantly oblige because I just so happened to be wearing something stretchy. Oh this old trick? Puhlease. My dream came true and I become the brief center of attention to several nine year old girls who looked upon me with wide eyes of wonder. Probably wondering why on earth a grown woman would do something like that
in the middle of the school courtyard...but whatever.
Matteo Update: Matteo is much easier to please. He does not require me to do tricks in front of his friends or to braid his hair in elaborate ways. I've stopped trying to catch him adding more bubbles to the bath behind my back. He does it every stinkin time. It makes him happy to think he's sneaking it and why do I even care? Wait, I know why I care. Because I'm a control freak!
He has the most disgusting collection of squishy bug things. Spiders, snakes, scorpions, lizards, roaches, beetles. I'm trying not to overreact to them in fear of finding a few in my bed. He's a little prankster.
I experienced a brilliantly creepy Godfather moment with Matteo. Last Sunday he asked why I didn't go away with them for the weekend. I told him because my sister was visiting and I wanted to spend time with her. To which he replied in stone cold conviction, "Well, she's not your family anymore. WE'RE your family."
I hosted a play date with Matteo and his little friend Leone who was incredibly adorable. We
Play Date
Matteo and his friend Leone made a chocolate cake together which they ate for breakfast.
What I'm Filling My Brains With:
Books:
• The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
• Discerning the Will of God
• My Daily Bread
Shows:
• Gossip Girl
• Breaking Amish
• Face Off
• America's Next Top Model
• The Office
• Parks and Recreation
• How I Met Your Mother
• TMNT
• Breaking Bad
• Flipping Out
Movies:
• Puncture
• For Greater Glory
• Mystic River
• The Pianist
I was also able to watch the first presidential debate (thank you Theodoric). Mitt is the man. He busted in there like a friggin G.I. Joe hopped up on Kool Aid ready to save America from the cryptic death grip of OBAMA (One Big Ass Mistake America).
Life in Rome has been good. It’s funny how when you first get here you look at everything so lustfully. You’re in love with the ancient buildings and how grandiose everything appears. The architecture is like nothing you’ve ever laid eyes on and the food awakens your taste buds, bringing new enlightenment to obesity. The city is alive and
Sant Eustachio
Best coffee ever. I love my life. bustling. But after a month of living here the facade melts away like gelato on a Rolex. Even one of the seven wonders of the world can become passé. Please refer to my intricate sketches for a reference of how these landmarks appear to me today.
Ryan O’Connell would tell you that Space Mountain is a sensational, thrilling, adventure filled roller coaster that brings an abundance of joy to a multitude of people but to Chanelle O’Connell, “It’s just a mountain.”
Bike ride through Villa Borghese:
Lots and lots of Love!
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