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Published: September 22nd 2022
Issy passed on yesterday’s tour of the Acropolis, which was understandable given it involved a lot of walking in the heat. I know she’s not into temples but I’m still determined that we not leave Athens without her seeing its biggest attraction. I thought we got here early but there’s still a long queue for tickets. We make our way up the lower slopes past the Theatre of Dionysus and the Odeon of Herodes Atticus. Next stop is the human traffic jam that’s the narrow main entrance to the top. I didn’t think it was possible to get more crowded than it was yesterday, but I think it just might be. Issy didn’t seem too keen on coming here when we started our climb, and this pile up of humanity’s turned her right off. We make a bee line for the exit. She says that they need to limit the numbers they let in here, but I guess it’s a bit hard when this is what everyone who comes to Athens is itching to see... well apparently not quite everyone.
I leave Issy shopping in the Plaka while I head off on a museum crawl. First stop is the Stoa
of Attalos. A stoa was a covered walkway, and this one houses the Museum of the Ancient Agora. It’s a 1950s reconstruction of the original structure which is believed to have been built sometime around 150 BC. It’s thought to have been in use from then until AD 267 when its wooden components were burnt during a raid by some Germanic types. It’s a massive 115 metres long, with the roof supported by some impressive rows of columns.
Next stop is the Acropolis Museum. I read that there had been a museum on the Acropolis since 1874, and despite a number of expansions it seems it eventually became way too small to house all the artefacts that were being progressively unearthed. The current building was opened in 2009. It’s generally regarded as one of the world’s most important museums, and according to the ever reliable Wikipedia “houses every artefact found on the rock and on the surrounding slopes from the Greek Bronze Age to Roman and Byzantine Greece”. It‘s certainly very impressive. Part of the motivation for building the current iteration was to assist arguments for the return of the Elgin Marbles from the British Museum. The Brits had
apparently previously contested that there wasn’t much point in sending them back because the Greeks had nowhere to display them, but there’s certainly more than enough room here now. Come on Brits - just do the right thing and give them back!
Issy’s gone back to the hotel, so I get some lunch by myself. I’m lured into a streetside restaurant and offered a seat at a table for two near the front. A few minutes later “luring man“ comes back and asks me if I’d mind moving to a table in the back corner. It seems that he’s keen to free up my seat for an attractive young lady who’s also by herself. Hmmm. Attractive single young women are clearly better for business than lonely looking older men …. I hope “luring man”’s not expecting a tip.
A few minutes later the heavens open. It’s now getting a bit hard to hear through the din of the rain on the awnings, and the street outside‘s doing its best impersonation of a river. Issy’s got our only umbrella. I message her asking her to bring it here, and suggest that if things keep going the way they are
a snorkel might also come in handy. I start the damp hike back to the hotel. Marble footpaths might look attractive and authentic, but the rain’s turned them into skating rinks, and it’s a distinct struggle to stay upright.
It’s been a long morning of walking in the heat, so we both drift off into dreamland. A few minutes later the hotel phone rings. It seems that there's a tour guide waiting for us in reception. Hang on, that tour's not until tomorrow. Whoops. I think the heat might be interfering with my cognitive processes; a quick check confirms that it really is on today. We throw on some clothes and head downstairs. It's a big bus, and we're the last ones to be picked up. This is not good - we've now been holding everyone up. There are only two seats left, right in the very back corner, and we feel a bus load of eyes bore into us as we make our way sheepishly down the aisle. It's going to be a long afternoon; we just got here and already everyone hates us. I'm starting to think we should just have said we were sick and told
them to go on without us.
The tour is to the Temple of Poseidon at Sounion on the southern tip of the Aegean Peninsula, about fifty kilometres south of Athens. Our young guide introduces himself as Theodorakis, but says that we should just call him Teddy. He is an hilarious and completely poker faced comedian. He tells us in a thick Greek accent that he will be our "guide, teacher and general protector" for the afternoon, and that if we look like we're about to drown while we're swimming he will dive in to save us without hesitation. He tells us that he is a recreation of the father from the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". He says that all English words come from Greek, so if we speak English we can now also speak Greek, even if we don’t realise.
We cruise along the waterfront past beaches, restaurants and resorts with Teddy providing running commentary. As we pass McDonalds he tells us to look out the window at what he says is “the worst restaurant in Greece“. He says “it is an actual crime in Greece to go in there. They murder Greek food. If anyone
on the bus has been there the driver will stop now and throw you out”. Next up is a quiz on Greece and Greek mythology. We each get points added for right answers and deducted for mistakes. He says that if anyone gets too many wrong - “you will have to do the tour again tomorrow.” Next up is to go around the bus and ask each of us what do for a living. Teddy tells a young guy from Sydney that he’s “very sorry” that he’s an accountant. Issy tells him she’s retired now but she used to work for the tax department. The response to this is that “while the Greeks invented virtually everything, they didn’t invent tax. That was the Egyptians.” And when a lady from Brazil says she works for the government Teddy fires back “are you a spy?”
We pass a large site which we’re told has been set aside for a massive multipurpose project - apartments, a university, shopping malls, you name it. We’re told that everyone here in Greece just laughed when they were told that it would take five years to build. Teddy says that you always need to multiply whatever
you’re told about building deadlines here by three. He says that everywhere you dig in Greece you will find “a hidden city”, and the archaeologists here are “fanatics”. You unearth something here - “big trouble”.
We stop briefly on a hill overlooking Lake Vouliagmeni, a small brackish pool fed by underground springs. It’s been declared a “natural monument” by the Greek State, and looks to be a very popular swimming hole, with sunlounges set up on platforms around it.
We stop for a quick bite to eat at Sounion. I know what it feels like to be on a tour by yourself - no one talks to you because they think you’re a creepy old man. There’s a young Austrian lady on the tour by herself. I know no one thinks she’s a creepy old man, but she’s looking a bit lonely just the same so we ask her to join us. She’s a musicologist, and she tells us that she’ll be going back home tomorrow after coming to Athens to present a paper at the 21st Quinquennial (every five years) International Musicology Society Conference. I’m not really too sure what musicologists do, so I ask her what
her paper was about. I’m sure it’s very interesting, but five minutes later I‘m still none the wiser as to what musicologists get up to.
The Temple of Poseidon sits atop Cape Sounion overlooking the sea. It’s believed to have been built around 440 BC, and evidence suggests the presence of other structures on the site dating back as far as the eleventh century BC. Poseidon is one of the Olympian Gods, and was regarded by the ancient Greeks as the “master of the sea”. The temple is believed to have been sited to give good visibility of sea lanes. The sun disappears behind some clouds and the sunset looks like being a fizzer, but just as we’re about to give up it reappears below the clouds, and puts on an excellent show.
Back on the bus we thought Teddy might be starting to tire but he’s certainly not finished with us yet. He announces that “by the power I invest in myself I am now going to baptise you all into the Greek Orthodox Church”. Issy is baptised Eleni, after the stunningly beautiful Helen of Troy. That was nice. I suspect the name I’m given might be
slightly less complimentary so maybe it’s just as well neither of us can quite pick up the pronunciation. Teddy tells us that he’ll be moving to America permanently in a few months to get married. He says he hasn’t met the girl yet, but he always knew “since I was born that I would marry an American girl”. He says that the young American guy sitting in the front seat has just become his new best friend, and that he has just sent him a Facebook friend request. He tells him that he’d better accept because “it’s still 39 miles back to Athens”.
We‘re the last ones to be dropped off . Teddy tells us that the Hyatt is so popular that they’re building another one right next door. Huh? So that’s two Hyatts nowhere near anything other than strip clubs and sex shops; they must get some interesting clients.
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Dancing Dave
David Hooper
Temple of Poseidon
What a magic sunset. What a location for such an event.