WE MUST BE BLO@D£Y BONKERS!

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Geo: 49.4115, 8.69196

TIME CHECK: 1850 CET. Location Hotel Panorama Heidelberg - West Germany (in old money).

At 0905hrs this morning we casually pulled out of the Hotel Grand Zvon and set the Sat Nav to Rostodov on the Czech/Germany Border and then onto the Heidelberg.....a total of some 538 km by a mix of Czech (don't forget your own Plasma) A Roads and then "The Techno Trouser"....Autobahns of Germany where the Audi A8 and Merc rule supreme.

Friday mornings on Czech main roads are frantic......I ease Neddy up to a steady 120kph as we pass though yet more lush landscape interspersed with quaint villages. After a couple of pit stops we reach the border at 11:42.......time for a leisurely lunch in the first German Service Station. We share a sausage (what else) and some pretty good salad stuff from the buffet.

Back to the Autobahn and I light the "fourth" boiler.......we creep up to 90 mph for a good hour or so.........looking forward to 'Jonnie Walker" at the Hotel Panorama at circa 1700hrs......
.............................."ACTUNG SPITFIRE'!!!!!!!!!! about 500yrs ahead in the fast lane, a large red articulated double jointed lorry ......just starts to reverse in front of me.............I take evasive action........then meet the rear end of a traffic jam from hell! I mean solid.........people getting out of cars and playing cards....SOLID!!!!!! The woman in the car next to us gets out and walk across to me in the fast lane and points to her watch...then blurts out...... "GODT IN HIMMEL......BONKEN CRUMPEN CRASHEN SMASHEN TROUSER........UBER STINKEN LONGBERG TIME DELAYSTEIN!!!!!!. My German is (as you probably can tell slightly weak) but her gestures indicate we could be here (in the fast lane!) until at least 2000hrs........

By this time some reverse back up the hard shoulder.....I try this and then wisely decide against it.......we creep for another hour........SUDDENLY a turn off......JUST GET OFF THIS awful road orders Cathy.........!!!!

I reset Margaret for an alternative route and we head off......we should "reach our destination" by 1758......not too bad...we seem to be taking the scenic route!...Small rustic villages......windy roads through little hamlets.......eventually we pull into The Hotel Panorama Heidelberg.......!

A quick glance at my SAT NAV setting over a well deserved RED LABLE I note that I had set the alternative route option to "CYCLE".........

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Comments

[katie.jenks28]

Godt in Himmel, it's getting too much now, I am reporting you to the Neddy police first thing.