350 on the Autobahn

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Zoom, zoom, ..... zoom................zoom. One flash car after the other speeds down the A2 from Hannover to Berlin past us. There's a black Porsche, a silver BMW station wagon. Right behind them comes a green Skoda filled with kids and a dog in the back. More black cars; a Mini, another BMW, a Mercedes sports edition, an Audi A6.

We sit in the middle lane of three; the right is for trucks and Warmduscher, losers; the middle for normal people; and the left is for those with the need for speed. For those of you who may not know, losts of Autobahnen, freeways, are still speed-unlimited. You can go as fast as your machine will take you, but you have to go at least 60km/h, otherwise you get fined.

Trucks are often allowed only in the right line and are not allowed to pass each other a lot of the time. They are also banned on weekends unless they have a special permit to use the Autobahn. Makes for happy, non-truck driving, something most Australians are not used to as our truck drivers generally have fairly bad manners.

Zzzzzoooom, there goes another one, right past us. We all gauk at each other and marvel at the speed with which the Audi TT disappears before us into the distance. Mum is already on about 160km/h in the middle lane, but then she's got the indicator on and we merge into the left lane, the fast lane, and before I know it, the speedo creeps from 160 to 180 to 200 to 220. She's grinning; this baby goes off. You just put your foot down and the rest is history.

At home, mum drives an old, gutless Nissan Patrol, nothing on the hirecar she pestered the rental company over for several weeks before our departure - we are sitting in the newest, biggest, shiniest Mercedes. Put €120,000 or $240,000 on the table and she's all yours for a speedy yet comfortable Autobahn drive: the 350 S Class, just released.

When we pull up to see friends, most of the men are more interested in our car than the reunion. Personally, I'm not much of a car girl, but I've got to say, at these sorts of speeds, you want to know that the motor you sit behind has the horses in it to move you along rather quickly. Because its not all as simple as it appears; there is strict Autobahn etiquette.

Firstly, you can only pass cars on the left. You are not allowed to overtake someone by going into a slower lane, you have to move into the faster lane. So if you are in the slow lane, for example, and there's an old gramps sitting in the middle lane on 100, you throw your hands in the air, shake your head and curse somewhat, then you begin the passing journey. Indicator on, move into the middle lane. Indicator on again, into the fast lane. Pass grey beard, then back into the middle lane, and maybe even into the right lane. Sounds fine. But now consider the approximate speeds in each lane when the speed in unlimited. Those in the slow lane sit on anything from 60 (very slow) to about 100, 110. The middle is about 140 to 160, and the left lane is for about 180 plus.

So, to pass old mate with his walking cane, you have to increase your speed from 100 to 180 within seconds. And once you cross into speed lane territory, you have to watch with eagle's eyes for Porsches, BMWs, Audis, Mercs, that literally fly up behind you with up to 280 on their dial.

I'm proud to say that even I have spent some time amongst the Michael Schumachers in the fast lane. But I'm no addict; I have no need for speed. I'd rather sit back and watch squirrels race around in tall pine trees.

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