Hamburg Sentiment: A Semester in Review

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Hey all,

So as I begin my last week in Hamburg, I am experiencing a vast array of emotions. A huge part of me is extremely excited to go home, but of course a feeling has crept up on my over the past week, the feeling that I know I will miss this place tremendously. We talked about re-entry shock, the opposite of culture shock, in my intercultural interaction class, and knowing me, I will probably be privileged enough to experience it. This entry will probably jump around a lot, because of all that is running through my head at the moment, but do your best to follow along : ).

Joe and I went to my favorite coffee shop today, Black Bean, and just sat at an outside table for about an hour. Neither one of us was able to hold a conversation longer than a minute or two; we were both staring off into space, looking at our surroundings, trying to memorize the buildings around us, the feeling in the air, the people walking by, doing our best not to take these things for granted. We both agreed that we were feeling the exact same way about leaving for home. I don't know about Joe, but over the last 5 months here I have accomplished a lot, growth wise (and I don't mean the pounds packed on from the delicious food). Hamburg kind of feels like home now, despite the fact that I have not fully come to terms with parts of life here. I'm sure I would feel differently about everything if I were here indefinitely; I'd have a job, probably gym, have solid routines, etc. The comforts of my home in the US are now starting to outweigh the benefits of being here, but what I've gotten from this experience is absolutely indispensable in so many ways.

For 2 years now I've been in a subconscious internal struggle about where I belong, where my home really is. I obviously feel like I come from South Jersey (here omitting the whereabouts of more than half of my physical belongings), because my parents and a lot of my friends are there, I grew up there, etc.- however that feeling has slowly gotten a bit weaker since moving to Rhode Island. Most of my other family (besides my parents) live there, along with my work, school, friends, and gym. I honestly could not picture leaving all of that behind now, and I've often wondered how I have lived without it all for 20 years. Not to say Jersey hasn't been good to me, but I guess I just have trouble calling just ONE of those places home now. Where to go/stay after college, where to try and go to grad school, where to work..... Now that Hamburg has been added to the mix, my confusion has only deepened. I am an American girl through and through and that will never change, however I do feel a strong bond with Hamburg now. I've managed to blend in in most cases, pick up the local dialect and lingo, and move past the tip of the cultural iceberg that is Hamburg. I don't walk down the street feeling that I am in a foreign environment; I am aware of the vast differences, but I am accustomed to both ways of life now, the American along with the Northern German.

Last Thursday Bryan and I were required to make an extra presentation in intercultural interaction to get the full amount of credits for the class. We basically did a review of the course (very good for studying for the final!) and kind of tied everything together, showing the importance of intercultural competence. I can tell you right now, my 2 intercultural classes, interaction and corporate, have been amazing in doing their job.. I have learned SO much and gained so much awareness. Anyway, it went over really well, and everyone seemed to love it. It's funny, how at the end of the semester, everything seems to come together, at least for me. People I never talked to before I now do, and its a shame. It's really hard to get into a German clique, but I could have also tried harder. My roommates have been amazing, and I will miss them SO much. Especially Peng and Jueng's dumplings.. to die for (Kung Fu Panda, Ne Hao Ma, Hey duuuuude will, without saying, also be things I will greatly miss). Regardless, I have been able to calm some fears about coming to the States, and also open up connections with some other students, to keep in contact as well as have a place to stay if they ever want to come visit. I have to say, if it weren't for the awesome teachers (minus 1) at HAW Hamburg, it might have been harder to feel at home at school. They have been so accommodating and have tried to make our transition as easy as possible.. and one teacher in particular I wish I could take home with me. I do long for URI, but of course there are things that I will definitely miss- especially studying from slideshows instead of $10,000 books each semester.

My ethnocentrism as an American has also been greatly affected. Living in another country, another culture, has opened my eyes to so much. The feeling of "my country is better than yours" is not completely gone (How could you possibly be a proud US citizen and not believe you rock the socks off this world??) but has been hushed quite a bit. There are so many things Germany does better than the US, and it just proves we have a lot to learn as a country. Of course there has been some comparisons since day one, although they tell you try your hardest not to- it just happens. Now, in retrospect, each country has its things they do better than the other, and some things that remain consistent across the world.

I have the strong feeling that I am coming home in a week a completely different person, while still staying completely the same as when I first left- as impossible as this seems. Both in and out of school, I have learned so much about myself, the people around me, and the ways of the world. I'm sure there will be quite the adjustment period, but I do miss my life terribly and can't wait to be back. One of my friend's facebook profile's has the quote "Each of us are sole survivors of a world no one else has ever known" and it is so completely true.

Well, I need some sleep. Early final in the morning... and my nerves are shot. I'm sure there are a lot of thoughts I've left out, but I will write more later if need be. My head is running in a million different directions at the moment, a long with a million different emotions. More later!

Love, J

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