Berchtesgaden

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Geo: 47.6314, 13.0036

After our last nights sleep in Filzmoos, we awoke on the 7th with our next days adventure locked and loaded. Berchtsgaden. The Eagles Nest. Hitler's twisted mountaintop conference center. I was a little foggy because after eating and drinking too much too late, I awoke around 2 am for a pit stop. The cottage a few doors down has this eerie porch light that would turn on … stay on for about 10 seconds .. and then shut off. 3-5 seconds later it would turn on again. Rinse and repeat. With the way the fog, mist, and rain was settling in on the Alps, the dancing porch light serenade was a little disconcerting. My guess is the sensor was being continuously triggered by the rain but I was too tired to stand there in the dark and try to remediate a wayward porch light … So back to bed I went.

We dug into our food supply we bought yesterday. All and all not too bad a breakfast. Except the Bauchspek. Bauchspek is a smoked bacon. Bauchspek is a horrible horrible bad joke for bacon. I hope someday, someone can explain Bauchspek to me. Bauchspek is bacon's evil cousin. I wouldn't even eat Bauchspek if I were drunk and starving to death … Ok … well maybe then I would.

If I ever call you Bauchspek …… You know you have wronged me badly.

So after breakfast, with the Bauchspek securely in the trash …. We packed up, cleaned up, and headed into the rainy Alpen morgen.

The hour long drive to Salzburg this morning was about the same. Rainy. Windy. Misty. Foggy. The fact that I could barely see 100 above me didn't give me a warm and fuzzy that we would have stunning vistas at the Eagles Nest. 6,000 ft. But … we paid for it. Crappy weather or not, we were going. We got to Salzburg, parked, and grabbed the tour bus. Our guide for the day was Walter. An witty and wise sold German fella who spoke a very good English. As the bus made it's way to Berchtesgaden, Walter filled us in on many many interesting historical details. One thing I was unaware of is that Hitler was a vegetarian. I'd like to thing if he had just had a steak once in awhile, history might have been different. Calm down my vegan peeps. Ye knoweth I jest.

Seriously though ….. Hitler … You're being a dick again …. Have a snickers …..

After a bus switch and some long winding roads and several tunnels, we arrived at the base of the Eagles Nest. To get to the actual structure, you have to walk down this long ass tunnel, and get on this big brass lined elevator. It was all brass because the shiny brass made the elevator look bigger. Why? Well I'm glad you asked. Aside from all his awesome traits, Hitler was claustrophobic. Yep … The man who sent millions of human beings into crowded gas chambers was himself, scared of confined spaces. I always knew the dude was an asshole, but this tour was making me fully realize the depths of his assholishness. Anyway ….. after a short ride up the Hochenfurerelevatorschaffenschinkenschnitzelnschnapps or whatever the hell he called it …. and after a short introduction to the place, we set out to explore …. It looks awesome in photos, but when the clouds are securely surrounding you … nothing. I swear I could have practiced IFR on that mountain top.

Now for the really good part ….

In what is now the main dining room was Hitler's main conference room. You know .. the room he met with all sorts of other assholes to plan the takeover of the world sans any Jewish folks? In that conference room was an impressive fireplace made out of Italian marble. Rumor has it that it was a gift from none other than fellow asshole Fascist war buddy Benito Mussilinni. There are chunks taken out of the right corner mantle from when the US and Russians bitch slapped the Nazi's into the annals of history and rode the claustrophobia mobile up to the top. They were probably like "Hey this is a really nice mantle" “Too bad you're a fuckwad. Where's my hammer? SCORE!!”

So as you can probably ascertain, this is a place where people take photos. Why not? Right? It's historical significance is palpable. Well … Let me tell you a little story about 3 guys who came from another country who pissed us off in the early 40's. Yea … You know who I'm talking about. 3 Japanese tourists who obviously have about as much sense as I have moderation. These clowns stand in front of this fireplace …. Throw up the Nazi salute …. and get their picture taken. Not once, not twice .. .but THREE times. It was a round robin of absolute douchebaggery. As the vast majority of us .. No ….. As ALL of us stood in stunned silence, thank God the German woman working in the room dug into their asses with both heels. Yes. Japanese …. Seig freaking Heiling in the room where Adolph Hitler and his band of merry men planned some of the most insane acts of barbarism and shitbag behavior in history.

That's all I have to say about that.

As vacations have a way of doing, the day picked up the pace and began to double time. We had lunch at the Golden Bear in the actual town of Berchtesgaden. Lovely little town. Very picturesque …. and I found more cowbell … After that it was back to Wurzburg. We hopped in the auto and off to Fussen we headed.

The 2 1/2 drive was much less worse than I thought it would be. Mainly because I was beginning to feel things I hadn't in 20 years. I won't even try to describe it because it's mine, and it's something that sometimes …. only we can fully understand ourselves. The only thing I'll say is that it was a homecoming. Any reservations I had about returning …. gone. I'm in this … and it's awesome!!

Our hotel in Füssen, The Hotel Hirsch, was wonderful. Within 5 minutes I knew 1 day was not going to be enough. Aber es ist niemals genug Ja? After we checked in we stopped in at the biergarten for … surprise …. a beer. Or 2 ….. oder drei. Before it got dark we wanted to walk around Füssen, so we headed out on foot. We found a nice little Gastehaus several blocks away and stopped in for … well … you know. Met a nice couple from Cincinnati who was in Europe on a motorcycle tour. Once the sun set in stunning fashion we decided to head back to the hotel Hirsch for some essen und trinken.

A few notes before I call it a night. We haven't had a bad meal here since arriving. Well, except for the Bauchspek, bit that was my doing. The predominant thought I am having at this point is that America could learn alot from the little things that Germany gets right. Everything here is just …. clean. Not perfect but not roadsides littered with stupidity. There's a certain pride in making sure that everything is well kept. We're surrounded by building that were built hundreds of years before the first settlers traversed the Atlantic to form the land we call home. Don't mistake my musings. I love my country. We just don't have the monopoly on freedom …. and sometimes …… we should try and listen ….

A glass of good Austrian wine on the roof overlooking the Füssen Schloss end my night perfectly.

Tomorrow is Neuschwanstein. I can't wait to see what Ludwig II built. It looked stunning from a distance on the B17.

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