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Published: October 25th 2014
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Me at a big castle in the sky
(oh tell me why, do we build castles in the sky?)After two months of writing this blog, I am already struggling to keep up the enthusiasm I had for it at the start. I keep seeing my friends and course mates posting their cleverly titled blog post links on Facebook, and I feel a bit of guilt for ignoring mine. However, I feel that writing it all out in massive chunks is a bit of a waste of time for me, and for you. Too much stuff happens here for me to write about it in detail, but I try and remember the funny things, because that's what I know people want to hear. Well, funny in my opinion.
• The kids at the school. I am now, for the first time in my life, a sex icon. All the girls in the school keep coming up to me and batting their eyelashes and giggling nervously when I walk past and say "hello". I now am collecting friend requests on Facebook from them. I don't have the heart to click "not now", so they can just wait there, in purgatory. A particular favourite moment was when a girl came up to me, looked me square in the eye,
Horrible teamand said "you have beautiful eyes", and her friend said "you are very pretty." Aw.
• Random little things that I get to. A week or so ago, I helped two elderly-ish people move house. I had no idea who they were, but they were the parents of an acquaintance of my landlord. So, I got picked up by a stranger (a very friendly and kind stranger), taken in a big van to an empty house, and helped them empty the van. I got fifty Euros for it, so I can't complain, and they were all very affable.
• My landlord's kids. They are so sweet. They keep wanting to play with me all the time, and it's great that they see me like a family member, and climb all over me and want me to play with them. The little boy calls me "Sames", and the little girl calls me "Tim"... She gets me confused with someone else. The other day, I was playing a game where I chased the little boy with a towel like a weapon. I unfortunately whipped him in the face. He was fine.
• The kids at school again. I got the older class to write me
Preacha profile about themselves in English, so I can learn more about them. Here are a few answers I got: "Favourite Film/TV Programme- porn, porn", "Future Plans: I want to open a bitch store", "Best skill- I stab girls 😉" and my personal favourite, "Worst habit: I have a big cock". They may be very cheeky, but they are all so friendly and funny. They have a lot of respect for me, and I know that they will do as I ask of them.
• My mistakes. I accidentally shouted "AH SCHEISSE" in front of a group of 11 year olds the other day. Normally in England, I say "scheisse", because it doesn't sound as aggressive when you say it in another language. However, I forgot that they speak German in Germany, so they all understood and looked thunderstruck.
• Having a run in with the football players from Bayer 04 Leverkusen. When meeting them in Stuttgart, they refused to have a photo with me, so I ran ahead of them and took my own. Then, when trying to run back to my friends, one of the players tried to trip me up, but I ended up standing on his leg.
• Being
It means "fat" in German too, so it's not too badan idiot. I was sat up last night eating pretzels with my housemate, and I managed to write the word "dick" cleverly with them. I took a picture when he went to bed, but forgot to clean them up. I woke up this morning and they had been cleaned up.
• Getting locked out of my room. The door handle on my bedroom door falls off if you pull it too hard. The step-mother of my landlord (who is in her seventies) closed my door to stop the draught, but ended up pulling off the handle. This meant that we couldn't get back in. My keys, wallet, bag etc. were all inside. So I spent the next few hours in a furniture shop with them. I really enjoyed it actually.
So, I have been up to a lot more than that in the past few weeks, but these are the highlights that I remember.
Any questions, comment below or ask me (if you know me).
Your little rebel,
James
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