Busy,Busy,Busy

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It's crazy to think that when I began this year, I was bored out of my mind but now my weeks are jam-packed with things to do:lessons to prepare and teach,people to meet,social activities to enjoy etc! I just thank God that it wasn't like this from the very beginning - I've had nearly a month of it and I'm exhausted and more than ready for a holiday!

God really couldn't have allowed things to happen better and I smile to myself, knowing that He knew how busy I would be by the end of the year and how much I would need a holiday, despite my idea to begin with to have more of a 'working holiday'. I thought it would be time-wasting to spend a couple of weeks of my summer break sitting on a beach down in the South of France but God (as always) knew better. I love the image that Emilie once spoke to me of, of God being her personal agent, directing and organising what she does and doesn't do.

I have started tutoring a girl outside of school which means an extra two hours of teaching each week and more prep work to do - it's a good job I like teaching but as the year draws to end I'm feeling less and less creative and motivated in terms of preparing lessons and I'm getting a bit sick of flicking through English textbooks to find activites to do. On top of that, I have my normal lessons at the school and I also got called in to help the Pastor's daughter with her English work for her exams which meant reading five or six chapters on a novel based on political violence in Africa - I really sympathise with the French students who have to sit these exams!

And to have such busy, work-filled weeks is a bit out of the norm that I've become accustomed to!

Recent social activities have included a Rimlishof BBQ for all the volunteers and other people who help with the refugee families - we were privileged enough as Rimlishof residents to be handed name tags (so that exterior people would know who we were - I had a number of people look at my name tag bizarrely and unless invited to give them an explanation, I'd just smile.) Rimlishof dinner get-togethers usually involve me eating too much (you'd think we were feeding the 5,000 with the amount of food they put out) and this particular evening was no exception, as well as making funny faces at Rachel across the heads of serious French people and avoiding the steely gaze of the director.

As Cedric was in charge of the BBQ I was also drafted in to help Laetitia with the kids - having five of them to handle isn't easy. As were about to start eating, Emma began to cry - that loud baby wailing which 'breaks the ears' as the French say. I offered to hold her whilst Laetitia fed the other little darlings - this however, meant watching everyone else pile up their plates, hoping that all the food wouldn't be gone by the time I got to it, whilst hearing again the Holy Spirit's voice, reminding me to die to myself and think of others rather than myself.

Other social (or rather church) activities have included a prophetic evening with a man called Pierre Daniel Martin - apparently a very well-known prophet in France. During a time of impartation, I was standing up, my hands held out ready to receive what God had for me. The prophet was walking from one side of the room to the other saying "plus,plus" and the presence of the Holy Spirit could really be sensed - I didn't get whacked or anything but I could see other people being touched by Him and I suddenly began to feel a bit nervous and apprehensive, anticipating the touch of the Spirit on me, thinking to myself, 'What's He going to do?' It's stupid because it's almost as if I become afraid, forgetting that the Spirit who knocks down people is the same Spirit who lives in me and has helped me become who I am now and made it possible for me to get to this point.

As the prophet approached my side of the room, I felt his hand touch mine and he said in front of everyone 'you're going to open closed paths'. I still didn't really feel anything major happen in my Spirit, except perhaps God's peace (which is pretty big). After the service I had a few people come up to me and say what a great word I'd received but I merely smiled and made a mental shrug of my shoulders, thinking it's not that big a deal, it's only one sentence. Don't think me completely heartless - I did ask myself 'why aren't I touched by that? What's wrong with me?' but something Laetitia said to me and some reflection afterwards has made me think 'it will touch me when God wants it to and perhaps it's not for now, it's for later and in the meantime I can keep it close to my heart until the right time is ready.' I guess I just always remember the prophesy I got in L'Ombreuil when I got really touched by God and His presence and and hand in my life was suddenly so real and close and all I could do was cry and let out the hurt in my aching heart before Him, and now I seem to think that everytime I get a prophesy it should be like that - but I'm learning that crying isn't the only way my Spirit responds to the Holy Spirit and the more He heals me, the more I feel His peace when His presence comes.

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