New Year in Prague

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Prague: Capital of Bohemia. Then Czechoslovakia. Then Czech Republic.

Not part of the global odyssey, this was a little trip away for the new year for myself and Áine. I thought I'd give it a write up as practice for the full on blogging lark.

We departed from Dublin's new Terminal 2, which is noteworthy for having been incredibly easy and hassle free. Mainly because there were probably max. 100 passengers in it the whole time we were there. It took about 15 minutes to get from checking in the bags, through security and out to our gate. Could have spent another hour in bed. This easy travel was a theme for the weekend break; the metro, trams, taxis and even the flights were hassle free. Unprecedented ease, and no small contribution to relaxation.

We got to Prague pretty much on time, and the Prague Airport Transfers driver was waiting with a "Soviet Smile". I.e. a grimace and a thousand yard stare. As we drove down from the Airport, some thoughts hit me: "Cold. Dirty. Grim". The outskirts of Prague aren't exactly pretty, though the view of the city itself in the distance held a little more promise. Unfortunately, on getting in, the dirt motif continued. Prague is a funny old mix of beautiful, old baroque and Gothic buildings, well maintained; and newer, more functional and dirty buildings, mostly from the Communist days. Nowadays, every space larger than a broom cupboard is a souvenir shop, Thai massage parlour or Irish pub. Other cities, like Rome, have the dirty look and the cram of tourist trap shops, etc., but make up for it with wide open spaces and truly ancient history. Places like Ljubljana are on their way to becoming Prague, but still have some of their wide eyed naivety - and less British stag parties. Prague has sacrificed an awful lot to tourism. It is a city the size of Dublin that draws tourist crowds to rival London. Our hotel (Rafaello, on Legerova St., no. 58) was pleasant enough though - it seemed to be a converted apartment building, and we had a duplex room with a little kitchen-ette. It was comfortable and functional, if not spectacular. Aside from the other rooms, the rest of the hotel consisted of a small breakfast room and tiny reception, not at all like a restaurant you would find here. The Czech definition of 4 star is a little skewed. Despite the heavy smell of smoke in the corridors (not banned indoors there yet), it was warm and pleasant enough. It is probably far better than many of the alternatives near the centre.

The Prague tourist damage is most evident in Wenceslas Square. I'll say very little about it, as it was almost entirely nasty, cheap and tacky. The Christmas market stalls at the end of the square were charming, from the gluhwein to the roasted chestnuts. However, they were nothing to rival the old town square markets. Around the old town square, from the foot of the Astronomical Clock all the way across, were stall after stall of pastry and hot wine stands. There were plenty of other souvenir stands and marionette stalls (marionettes were approved entertainment during the Communist era, and are still popular). On our first night, we drank hot wine and had a little explore around the area. The old town was probably the nicest part of the whole city. We climbed the tower over the Astronomical Clock, and watched the trumpeter play out the hour while the clock did it's thing below (we watched the clock itself the following day: it's an awesome piece of clockwork mechanism, as little figures of the 12 apostles parade past two windows at the top and death rings a bell). After the tower, we descended and wandered some more. We got a little lost, though you're never very lost in Prague, and managed to stumble on a great little restaurant called Svejd. Nope, can't pronounce it either. I had a dish of two types of pork, some duck, two kinds of dumplings, sauerkraut and spiced red cabbage. Very traditional, and exceptionally tasty - and cheap. A shop down the road charged almost 4 times as much for the same thing - when in Prague, shop around.

On our second day (New Year's Eve), we started by exploring Charles Bridge. This famous bridge is one of Prague's main attractions - so it is patrolled by gangs of pickpockets day and night. We managed to avoid them, and used our guidebook to identify the 30 or so statues of saints, scholars and villains lining the bridge. Áine took the time to rub the brass dog at alongside one of the statues: superstition says that this means you will return to Prague one day. I stood back and growled at anyone who looked towards her pockets. Our choice for lunch was closed, and we made another lucky find: Tri Stolet. The Czech food is so rich that the modest portions were welcome. I had a wild boar stew, with possibly the nicest gravy I've ever tasted. We finished day two with a trip up to Prague Castle. It is pretty spectacular to behold, with it's massive expanse filling the skyline to the north-west (it is Europe's largest castle). Once you get inside, you may be a little disappointed by some of the very modern buildings that make up part of the complex. Also, only parts of it are open to the public - it is currently used by the Czech government. However, St. Vitus' Cathedral is spectacular inside and out, and the Old Royal Palace has lots of interesting stories and displays. In St. Vitus' Cathedral lie the remains of St. John of Nepomuk; thrown over Charles Bridge while wearing a suit of armour by King Wenceslas IV, for inviting a Bishop to Prague whom Wenceslas didn't like. Well, it WAS rude of him. His "tomb" is a huge silver affair, weighing 2 tonnes. A cherub on it is holding a picture of a tongue, as when they opened the tomb a few hundred years ago, St. John of Nepomuk's tongue was "miraculously preserved". The audioguide tells us that experts have since determined that it was, in fact, the shriveled remains of his brain. That's what you get in a country that is 60% atheist 😊

That night came the highlight of the trip for me: The Prague State Opera. It was the Gala Night, so I donned the tux, and got Áine to wear an evening dress; she had no idea where we were going for New Year's Eve. We arrived to a champagne reception, and had a little look around the interior. The halls and buffet rooms look a little like an underfunded art gallery, all white walls and paintings. The opera hall itself is spectacular, however. The roof murals and carvings were entertainment enough until the show started. Die Fledermaus was a wonderfully funny German opera, about a man ("Die Fledermaus, or "The Bat") who takes elaborate revenge for a practical joke played on him by his friend Eisenstein. His revenge is also in the form of a practical joke, which pretty much everyone is in on. Poor Eisenstein is pretty much buggered from the get-go. Between the acts of the opera, there was a wonderful buffet dinner (salmon and prawn, paté, terrine, and many, many fine foods to sample), and a buffet dessert. All night, the wine, champagne and beer kept flowing (open bar!). The show ended just before midnight, and the entire cast came on stage to join the audience in a toast. The stage was cleared, and jazz and swing music was played by a band (made up from the orchestra!) until 3am. Áine and I danced on the stage of the Prague Opera House, then stumbled to a taxi and slept off the vino.

On the morning of the third day, we took the funicular railway up to Petrin Hill. The clear, cold air would help our heads. We timed it well and got on the first car available; when we got back down, the queue was epic. At the top of the hill is a small-scale replica of the Eifel tower. It was still plenty frigging big though; didn't bother climbing the bastard. We also went into a "mirror-maze", because it was cheap and seemed like fun. Aside from the distended images in the mirror (partially due to their shape, partially due to my dumpling consumption), it was fairly crappy. We had lunch at the somewhat poor "La Bastille" at the foot of Petrin. It was more notable for it's ridiculous combination of rustic, wood cabin looks and Eurotrance background music than for the food. When we got back to the centre, we learned that the national museum closed early that day. Instead, we visited the torture museum and sex machine museum. Yep. These were commercial museums, but actually not that bad. The torture museum had reproductions of the instruments of agony, iron maidens, disembowelers and such. The sex machines museum was disappointingly non-seedy 😊 . They had the first two known pornographic films on show, from 1925. They were commissioned by one of the royal family. They featured very fat women, which was apparently a fetish of his. The terrible acting involved must have set in stone the tradition of awful acting in porn. Not that I would know.

Our final full day in Prague began with our postponed visit to the national museum. It's pantheon of busts of the great and good of Czech science and art was impressive, as were the anthropological and paleontological displays. It was very old-school though, creaking floors and many, many preserved animal corpses. Also, much of the information was in Czech, which is fair enough but makes for difficult learning. We left here and went briefly to a shop featuring "7 floors of shoes". Áine's idea. 😊 . It was a bit of an exagerration though: floors 6 and 7 were admin levels, and others were fashion and sportswear. In the end, there was scarcely 2 floors of shoes. A bitter taste in our mouths left from this disappointment, we were looking forward to our river cruise, with free coffee and cake. The guide on-board opened by telling us he was a presenter on Czech TV: the only evidence of this was the slicked-back hair and constant use of sunglasses, even though it was pretty dull out. We learned a fair bit from him though: he speaks four languages, and was against Communism. Oh, he also mentioned stuff about Prague. Interestingly, he told us that the Czech republic is 60% atheist, with 80% of the remainder being Catholic. Somehow, this made it a "Catholic country". Hmm.

After this we went to Vysherad, which was a highlight for me. It is the mythological first site of the city of Prague, and has the remains of a medieval citadel, including battlements and huge stone gates. From the battlements, there is a spectacular view of the city and the Vltava river. A plaque on the western side shows each of the bridges as they appear from where you're standing, and their names, so as to identify them. Here we also had Klobasa, hot spiced sausage. Very filling and restorative; I brought a few home to continue the fattening. For our last dinner, we went from Vysherad to a restaurant built in a former brickworks, called Hergetova Cihelna. The dinner was pricey, but pretty spectacular. This is the sister restaurant to Kampa Park, where the stars have all gone to eat in Prague (Mick Jagger, Robbie Williams, Arnold Schwarzenegger). I had a burger which was filled with fois gras, though I felt very guilty about that. Poor little geese. Got to try everything once though. Áine had an awesome Thai red curry risotto. The walk home was lovely: it was late, and cold, so most of the tourists had retired. It was snowing gently. It reminded me of the Xmas Guinness ad at St. James gate.

Our last day was a little more practical; we went to the massive Palladium shopping centre and bought gifts for our poor families back home. This duty complete, we had only to await our pick up from the hotel, and trip on home. Closing the Prague chapter of the book held mixed feelings; it featured beauty and elegance, and yet was clearly already going to ruin. Like an aging model who starts doing porn, as she has no savings or self respect left. Would I return to Prague? Yes, but with caveats: I would stay further from the town centre, totally avoid Wenceslas Square, and make more of an effort to visit traditional places like Svejd, sampling more of their stunning beer, dumplings and meats.

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Photos

The Sex Machine
Should have my own plinth

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