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Published: January 3rd 2006
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Here's Lookin' At You, Kid
Dwayne gives us the 'ol familiar face with the customary point, wink, and click of the tongue. After 2 ½ hours of caroling and mass at St. Pius, we checked our watches to find that it was, finally, Christmas Day. The only problem being that it was now well past midnight and we still hadn't heard from Nancy, whose flight was supposed to land in Kingston at 6pm on Christmas Eve. This was a predicament of mammoth proportions as we were all exhausted and had no way to actually contact Nancy. Dr. Pedro was particularly concerned as he had been fasting for 3 days in anticipation of the arrival of his "little white girl." (There is, by the way, a song with sign language hand motions to accompany this term...just ask.) So we called the Air Jamaica hotline which informed us that a flight had arrived from Miami at 12:18. We checked the clock on the wall which read 12:17 at the time. A clever trick.
The long and short of it is that we - we being Sr. Sophia, Pedro, and I - drove to the airport and picked up Nancy who had just arrived with a hundred or so tired and cranky Jamaicans. Unfortunately, our navigator (Sophia) fell asleep on the way home from the
HULA!
The young (Nancy) and old (Sr. Rosalie) come together for some traditional South Pacific hula dancing on Christmas day. airport so our driver (me) made an unfortunate turn and we ended up on North Street - AKA - one of the roughest neighborhoods in Kingston. A swift u-turn and we were back on the right track, but not before having received several evil glances from suspicious onlookers. We had to continuously rouse Sofia from her sleep to ask her which way to turn, forcing her to open her eyes slightly, say "This way..." (without actually pointing in any viable direction), then ask, "Wait, where are we again?"
We finally managed to find our way back to St. Pius to drop off Pedro for the night. At this point it was about 2:00am but, instead of going directly home, it was decided that we would drive by St. Elizabeth's because Sofia needed to drop off items that Fr. Peter needed for Christmas mass later that day. It wasn’t that we looked conspicuous or anything, driving slowly through the neighborhood at 2:30 in the morning and breaking into the gate and leaving a small, awkwardly-shaped package outside the door of the parish center. Oh, no, we didn't look conspicuous at all.
After crashing into bed at 3:00am, we were
"NO NO NO NO!!!"
Fr. Burchell poses with his favorite Christmas elfin, Sr. Paola, who repeatedly tells him "NO, no boys in the house." up and at ‘em at 7:00 for the 8:30 mass on Christmas Day. The good news herein being that, having arrived at St. Pius at 8:00 for mass, the damned thing didn’t even start until almost 9:15. So Nancy and I made our way to the cottage and spent the morning bonding with Andrew, Bigga, and Esroy, who also happened to have a late night, on account of the Red Stripe they had consumed. We danced and clapped and sang our way through yet another 2 ½ hours of mass, then bid everyone sayonara so we could race home and nap and help prepare for the dinner that was to come later that day.
Dinner consisted of the five of us in the Havendale community - Sr. Paola, Sr. Sofia, Sr. Lupe, Nancy, and Myself - as well as Mr. And Mrs. Monro, Sr. Rosalie, Fr. Burchell, and Pedro. After the 19-course meal, conversation turned, as it generally does when Fr. Burchell is present, to the topic of Nancy and Pedro. Though there is absolutely no romantic link between Nancy and Pedro, Fr. Burchell’s twisted little mind likes to tell elaborate tales of their relationship. Pedro was crying all
Jesus, Mary, Joseph, Wise Men, & Unwise Women
After dinner, we drove around Kingston to admire the christmas lights and to pose with random manger scenes. At one point, Nancy was under the impression that she was one of the cows and starting to moo as such. night because he was worried something had happened to Nancy. Nancy used to enjoy teaching before Pedro came to Jamaica - now she wants to be a dental assistant. A good two hours of jokes ensued before Burchell and Pedro left. After a speedy clean-up effort during which Nancy and Sofia impersonated drunk faces and slurred speech, we made our way outside to snap some pictures with Lady Justice, then moved into the car to take inventory of the lights around Kingston. Our first stop was Immaculate Conception Church, where my camera’s self timer caught us invading the sacred nativity scene. Nancy, unfortunately, thought she was a cow in the manger, and proceeded to moo. From here we continued past the mall and circled through downtown Kingston and around Emancipation Park before heading back home. The drive home, it should be noted, was replete with singing nuns who were under the misguided impression that they sounded a bit like Celine Dion….but with a lisp. I drove while Sofia, Nancy, and Lupe howled Christmas carols out the windows with prevailingly slurred speech. In summary, it was, undoubtedly, a Christmas to remember.
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