Back to the island in the sun

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Well my little hobos, what stories i have to tell you this time!
None too surprisingly, most of the interesting things that happen to me seem to have happened in Jamaica, and today was no exception.

After a marathon, and I do mean marathon drinking session (finished about 5am but ONLY because the booze ran out) I picked myself off of the floor (yes nicky it happened again!), staggered back to my cabin and lay very still on the bed. At least now I have an excuse for the room spinning... Im on a ship so it MUST be the ship and not me thats drunk. anyhoo, what seemed like 10 seconds later (actually 5 hours) I get a phonecall from my crazy Polish buddy from down the hall reminding me that we were going to climb another set of falls today at 10 30. poopy.

With herculean effort I managed to get up and assume some form af awakedness and we left the ship, taking care to show our crew passed of laminex. The reason I mention this will become clear later. Basically the laminex is a swipe card that stops nefarious people from coming on board ship (and also stops crew bringing those very friendly girls you always see outside the bars on the quayside).

Duns River falls does pretty much what it says on the tin - a huuge set of falls that you can climb up and down to your hearts content. So, still pissed as a newt I stumbled down to the entrance and got changed ready to go climbing / swimming / drowning.

It was about this time that I lost my laminex.

I think the magnitude of the situation didn't really hit me because i was still laughing and joking with Domnik (the polish dude) about the teeny $500 dollars I was going to have to pay, the written warning (get 3 and you're gone) and the 2 months of not being allowed on shore leaven that I was going to incur.

Still, We had a bloody fantastic day in the falls. The water on Jamaica is all amazingly sweet to taste and, despite the plethora of diseases that probably live in it, it was fantastic (and it was warm too, but thankfully there were no little yellow clouds floating past us!)

There is nothing like a play in the waterfalls to wake sober you up, so after a few anadin, we went to a private beach to kick back in the shade. Beer, Rum and other drikes that I couldn't even begin to describe were brought to us in abundance. This beach seemed to be where the beautiful of Jamaica were employed, as all of the waiters and waitresses were models. One even told me excitedly that he was moving to Watford to begin his modelling career in the uk. I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth.

So, thoroughly slaughtered and resigned to the fact that I was going to be keel hauled when I got back to the boat, we got back in the taxi. After politely declining sex with our tour guide in the back of the taxi, we got back to the ship. Domnik, crafty bugger that he is, nicked her hat and ran off screaming in intelligiblr Polish (worse than you Karol!) while I rather humbly shuffled up to the security guard and told him how my laminex had 'disappeared'.

The stern little Indian chap, took off his glasses, faced me full square and said "This laminex sir?" Some kind passenger had found it and handed it in!!! That guard got the biggest non erotic hug I could muster! Talk about luck!!!

Well, having had easily another best day ever, I went back to the ship to find out what I was doing in the evening. I was learning High Key shooting (like they do in Venture) so I spent a very happy hour getting people to pose in all manner of funny positions.

In the words of Vinny Jones - "You lucky Bastard!!!"

Ciao

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