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The flight from Cancun to Havana took one hour, but experiencing Cuba in 2006 is like flying into another world. It feels like you're entering a museum amidst a visual explosion of once in a lifetime travel sights and experiences. Where else, for example, can you catch a taxi ride in a 1948 Dodge as you can in downtown Havana? Ah Cuba; the rhythm, the rum, the salsa dancing, the music and the beautiful Cubana chicas, the rum (¿did I already mention that?), the havana cigars, the colonial buildings and the fiestas by night. There's a good chance you will have the travel experience of a lifetime in Cuba, but the initiation can be quite challenging. This is because Cubans are famous for working their angles with tourists, and I believe they are the undisputed masters at hitting you up to ensure you and your money part company at the earliest convenience. I thought that I was adequately forewarned but my first night in Cuba saw me fall victim to the oldest scam in the book. My story follows...

When I chose to pay a visit to Cuba, dear reader , I planned to immerse myself fully in the culture, the language and the salsa scene. My aim was to enjoy the opportunity to live solely amongst the Cuban people and experience their way of life. I checked into the Conchita Ortega guest room in Havana and was off to a good start, then went out as prearranged to have a drink with a few travellers from the plane when I was waylaid by a shonky operator with another offer. Although apprehensive I changed my plan and in doing so experienced my Cuban baptism of fire. I was taken to a sketchy bar and was plonked down with the shonk, the shonk's accomplice and an incredibly hot Cubana facemelter. She was dangerously beautiful but unfortunately part of the whole sorry scam. Within moments four cuba libres appeared (here we go I was thinking: I know who will be paying for these drinks) but I figured it wouldn't be so bad, said no more drinks to the barman and asked for the bill. He came over and hit me up for the equivalent of $40 US.

When I disputed the amount of the bill all hell broke loose in the bar. My new 'friends' and their chairs magically disappeared as quickly as they had appeared, and I was surrounded by four Cubans who shouted at me to pay up. The barman put his dukes up right in my face and said he wanted to fight me but I kept smiling, saying I was Australian and sticking to my guns. You may wonder about the relevance of referring to my nationality in this situation, but I can work an angle with the best of them and thought I'd give the lucky country pitch a bit of a run. Anyways, later the barman came back with a $30 bill when he kindly dropped the $10 cover charge for his dive. ¨No¨. Then it was $24 after he dropped the mythical tax, and I was left with a bill for four overpriced drinks and disappearing friends. OK, I said to the barman that I would pay but boy was I going to make that $24 last! I just sat there alone like a shag on a rock with no drinks and no friends for so long that in the end even the barman got tired of hassling me.

Then the real Cuba emerged when three cubanos pulled up seats at my table and shared a bottle of rum with me. They included a beautiful, gentle old man who smiled at me all night and would shake my hand and press his cheek against mine as he gave me a hug. I sorted the bill from earlier and so the stage was set for my wonderful visit to Cuba. Later on I bought more rum to share and at least had the small moral victory of outlasting the barman who was central to the scam. We stayed in the bar for several hours after he had left before my bar friends and I were ready for home time. There are seven days in the week in Cuba which means an opportunity for seven fiestas at night. I was in the country for ten days so you can do the math on the fiesta quotient. It may seem strange to you all, but I quickly learnt to exaggerate my reactions with the Cuban people in light of my initial experience going out in Havana. They seemed to appreciate my b-grade acting skills and were always quick to reassure me. I remember asking a member of the ¨policia nacional de revolucionara¨ in a nightclub how he was and even for him ¨tranquilo¨ was the response.

My next destination was the beautiful colonial town of Trinidad, where I stumbled across a fantastic outdoor salsa club which later on morphed into a heaving discotheque out back. The cubana chicas in the clubs are nothing short of sensational on the dance floor. My travels in Latin America have led me to the view that latino dance music is superior to the music we dance to in the west. You just have to watch the dancers for the proof as they shake it Shakira style better than any dancers I have seen, and I believe the rhythm and beat of the music is a crucial factor in their mesmerizing dance skills. What a great club and what a great time I had in Trinidad but after visiting Cuba there is one spanish phrase I will definitely never forget ¨una mas cerveza¨ - meaning one more beer.

The third city in my visit was Santa Clara, which is home to the Che monument and museum in honour of a military victory he commanded as part of the revolutionary push to victory. It's a highly recommended, informative and enjoyable tourist sight during the day but that leaves the night, and with the help of a local cubano guy I again landed in the town's happening club. The first night in any Cuban city is always the most difficult as a traveller with a new face. If you are watching your budget it can be expensive going out at night, but within reason this walking dollar sign was up for a cuban style fiesta despite the damage being done to my bank balance. So I go to the bar and even the barman tried to hit me up for a beer. Come on, one for him and one for me. Hmm...., anyways when I sheepishly returned to the bar later with a girl after dancing cuban style salsa and asked for two beers he laughed and gave me a high five. Then there was the guy in the Trinidad nightclub who hit me up for a beer. ¨No sorry¨ I said. Later that night he returned and indignantly informed me I had bought three beers, so where was his! And the lady in the supermarket who hit me up for a beer when I ordered some takeaways. ¨No sorry¨ I said. She then continued in spanish and asked me my name ¨Thomas¨ I replied. She then said ¨Thomas, no mas?¨ I laughed at that one as she even had rhyming style while hitting me up in Spanish. The Cubans are unbelievable; one beer for him, one beer for her and one for the revolution!

The Cubans definitely work their angles like champions but I wasn't robbed, nor did I ever feel threatened despite being out and about every night in this fascinating country. And as to the experiences, where do you begin? There are the dilapidated buildings, door handles screwed in upside down, antique cars and antiquated equipment, highways out of cities with hundreds of hitchhikers but barely any cars, a horse and buggy going down the main highway, police driving Russian ladas and the semi trailer buses in Havana. And what about the people ... The Cubans ooze raw sexuality when dancing at the salsa clubs and throw in lots of sensual close moves; where else will you see a chica dancing a whole song with a chico backside to front, or a chica greeting a chico seated at a club by rubbing her backside against his upper back, or the traveller dancing close with a chica in a club when for a laugh her three friends took turns dancing up close back to front, or seeing an impromptu salsa rueda in a Trinidad nightclub. Paying a visit to post revolutionary Cuba with the President in his twilight years is truly a once in a lifetime experience and,
basically all of you should be here now!

As a traveller writing in the spirit of friendly cooperation between neighbouring countries I want to close with a brief quote from an artist who hails from the closest neighbour of Cuba in the Americas, and the country that introduced rock and roll music to the world ... the United States. These lyrics perfectly capture my ten nights travelling in Cuba...

As I continue my travels, until next time it's signing off for now

Tom

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