Panama and Costa Rica

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PANAMA CITY

Central America wasn’t even on our original itinerary. Not that we didn’t want to see it, but we were going to save it for a different trip. It is, after all, not that far. Ammi had found some cheapy tickets from San Jose, Costa Rica to Albuquerque for about $250 on Kayak.com. It was cheaper than flying from Panama, Colombia, or Guatemala, so we were making our way there.
I didn’t know what to expect of Panama. I somehow figured it would be even less developed than South America. And judging from the people’s overjoyed reactions to Cartegena after traveling around Central America we figured it would be nothing but slums. I was totally unprepared, however, for what we saw as the bus drove into Panama City. In five minutes we saw a Domino’s Pizza, TCBY Yogurt, Dunkin Doughnuts, McDonald’s, Burger King, and a Hard Rock Café. Everything was overdeveloped, except for the buses. Now I understood why Panama City’s nickname is South South Miami. It shouldn't have been suprising, however, given how long America spent building the canal. I have to admit that feeling like I was home somewhat deflated my enthusiasm. We were looking for new cultures and new foods and new experiences. I could fatten up latter when we got home. Plus, we weren’t too keen on paying American prices for everything.

What’s the one obligatory sight we had to see in Panama City? The Panama Canal, of course. Since I was a kid I was always under the impression that the Atlantic and Pacific were different levels, and that’s why the boats had to be raised. Why don’t they just let the water flow freely and eventually they would even out? Dumb, I know, but who can argue with childlike imagination. What I realized, from watching the overpriced but educational film, was that there are two sets of locks, one on each coast, and a giant lake in the middle. We made our way up top to watch the cruise ships make their way through Miraflores Locks. I stood against the railing next to an obviously wealthy woman. She looked at me and flinched back in fear. “Gees lady, if you’re scared of me you should get back on your cruise ship and have your butler take pictures for you,” I felt like saying. It was just one more reminder how unnecessarily fearful most people of other cultures. But on the other hand we never look like we have anything worth stealing.
Most ships pay an average of $30,000 for passage through the canal. Ammi read about someone who swam the canal back in the 30s whose fee was $1.30. He had to swim 80 kilometers and it took him 8 days. I could see that crazy look in her eyes. “I’m going to swim the Panama Canal one day!” I could tell she was serious.
“So now you’re going to swim the canal, dance in Carnaval in Rio, and I’m going to sail back to San Blas, and mountain bike the world’s most dangerous road in Bolivia.” Obligations obligations!

Somewhere after bad haircut number 3 I had a brilliant idea. I’d buy a pair of clippers and cut my own hair on the road. I like it short so I don’t have to fuss with it. So a friend had some clippers and I asked Ammi to cut my hair. We went into the bathroom and I bent over the trashcan and she set it to number 5. The first swipe down the middle went fine, then it just conked out. “Great, this was well thought out.” Let’s just say the next few days I refer to as The Time of the Hat. Some of our shipmates would pull my hat off when I wasn’t looking and laugh.

COSTA RICA

We were warned about the taxi drivers in Costa Rica. Every trick in the book they would pull on you, assuming that you were fresh off the plane and didn’t know any better. What I hate is that even when you demonstrate that you’re clearly seasoned travelers they still don’t let up, but continue with their practiced script. Trying to get from the bus station to our hostel was like pulling teeth. “Does your meter work?” This question alone usually weeds out most of the undesirables. Costa Rica must make some terrible electronics because nobody’s meter seems to work. “Ok, 1,500 Colones to the Galileo hostel?” They would look at you like you’re crazy.
“Galileo is terrible. I know a much better hostel. Only ten dollars more per person.” Obviously the much better hostel gives commissions to the taxi drivers.
“No, Galileo.”
“Let me call first. I think they’re all booked up for the night.” He would punch a few numbers into his cell phone and let it ring for 2 seconds. “Oh shucks, nobody is answering. I know a much better hostel.”
“Let’s just go to Galileo and see.”
“2,000 per person. For you that’s nothing.”
“Yeah, at home we just pull money off trees.” After much finagling we got the price to 2,500 total for three people. We got to Galileo and lo and behold!!! All the rooms are empty!!
“The taxi driver said he called.”
“The phone never rang once. I was standing right next to it.” The owner went outside and asked the taxi driver to see his taxi license.
“Uh…I don’t have it on me.”
I gets tiring going through the same old song and dance every time, but I guess if taxi drivers are the worst thing you have to worry about I shouldn’t complain. Sorry, that was my little rant.

“What do you want to do in Costa Rica?” I asked Ammi.
“I want to do a canopy tour, see baby turtles on the beach, and see lava.”
“Well. We can try to do…some of that.” Turtle hatching season was over, unfortunately. We made our way to La Fortuna, to the base of Arenal Volcano. It stood overhead, threateningly, smoke wafting out the top like a giant ashtray. We picked our hostel based on a pamphlet for “Mr. Lava Lava”, an overexcited man who guaranteed that we’d see lava or our money back. The tour started with a visit to the natural hot springs. The scenery was full of lush green vegetation with bright flowers. “You know, I have to admit, Costa Rica is a lot like Hawaii.” Costa Rica is expensive as far as Central America goes, but cheap as far as Hawaii goes. I would definitely recommend it to “vacationers” for a cheap getaway.

We made our way to the base of the volcano. It was getting dark. We uttered a fatalist groan as we looked up. The top half of the volcano was obscured in dense clouds that seemed to separate from the surrounding air like oil and water. At least there were a number of fireflies to keep us entertained. After about an hour of sitting around looking up at the dark mountain it happened. “LAVA!! LAVA!!” Mr. Lava Lava shouted. Indeed a small smidgen of dull red bioluminescence could be seen emerging just below the cloud canopy. It seemed not to agree with the air below the clouds because a half second later the light winked out of existence, never to shine again.
“Did you see it?” People asked each other.
“No, I was taking a leak.”
“So you got to see lava, Ammi.”
“Sort of. But I want to STAND next to lava!”
“Maybe next trip.”
As far as Mr. Lava Lava was concerned we had seen lava, and a refund was out of the question.

“When you say canopy tour are you referring to walking on the hanging bridges or riding the zip lines?” Both would be in the jungle, but I knew that we wouldn’t see much wildlife on either.
“Zip line.” The best place for zip-lining is in Monteverde with some of the longest lines in the world. For $45 we could experience 11 zip lines, rappelling, and a Tarzan swing. That’s expensive for us but I wanted Ammi to get some of her Costa Rican goals accomplished. Plus I thought I needed one last shot of adrenaline before heading home. So after we got suited up with gloves, mountain climbing harnesses, and helmets (that looked like miner’s helmets) I had to tell Ammi my obligatory miner’s joke for the umpteenth time. “I’d love to take you out for drinks, Ammi…but I’m a miner.”
“You’re such a dork! I love you.”
After we were instructed on safety procedures we did the first zip line. Unfortunately it was the last group of the day and so there were 60 people! So the staff was a bit hurried and a bit rude, unclipping us from the line and snapping us to the next before we had a chance to even look around. “Lean forward! Take this! Go faster!” I was having so much fun, though, that I hardly noticed.
“Rappeling” was nothing of the sort. They would clip us to a rope and push us over the edge. “BAJA!” The person would then just drop in freefall for about 30 feet until an unseen assistant would slow their descent just before the moment of impact. It was more just to get a scream out of people.
The last two zip-lines were about 2,200 feet each! About half a mile! You don’t see a whole lot, except a green blur, but it’s a very fun experience.

Unfortunately every trip must come to an end. We made our way back to San Jose for our flight with mixed feelings. We missed everyone at home but we wanted to keep traveling at the same time. We bought a few souvenirs before heading to the airport. We found a Burger King inside. “Six dollars for a whopper!!!!” Ugh. Airports will screw you over anywhere.

So what lays in store for our pair of adventurers? Even we are not 100%!s(MISSING)ure. A few weeks at home to see friends and get some chores done, and then we’re headed to Ireland before buying our Round the World Tickets in London. We may not see Europe again, but Asia, India, Turkey, and Israel are in the plans.

Thanks for reading! Chao for now!

***TRAVELERS' TIPS***
- Luna's Castle is a bit expensive but overall a pretty good hostel.

-If you're looking for a Latin America feel to a place Panama City and Costa Rica are far too westernized. There are Dunkin Doughnuts and Pizza Huts on every corner.

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Photos

Panama City
A.K.A South South Miami

Kevin and Ammi
Panama Canal

Frank B. Huelsmann
Born in 1877 and worked the canal in 1909. Must be a distant relative

Walk through the jungle
Panama City

Old meets new
Panama City

Local Buses
Really old American school buses painted like carnival rides

Do you think this hat goes with my swim trunks?
Of course she looks better in everything

Arenal Volcano
La Fortuna, Costa Rica

Natural Hot Springs
La Fortuna