Never smile at a crocodile

---

Hello again everyone, I'm back for part two of my travel blog which I will try to make significantly shorter as internet (and everything else here in Belize) is extortionate! You may notice a theme in this blog of me getting taken advantage of repeatedly and throwing away money, but please bear in mind that in spite of my bitter tone I have been having the most incredible time...

So when I left you last time I was in a small town just outside of Palenque, and had just returned from seeing the ruins. Upon my return I bumped into a couple of lovely English ladies both of whom are 37 (I mention their age purely to highlight the variety of people I have been travelling with) who had invited me to take a tour of the ruins with them that morning, but I had declined as it was too expensive. They then showed me their beautiful photos of a howler monkey family close enough to touch, making me very angry that I hadn't gone with them, but c'est la vie. Seeing as we were all getting on well, we actually ended up spending the next 4 or 5 days travelling together. We booked to take a tour the next day from Palenque to San Cristobal de las Casas via two waterfalls, which turned out to be a minibus full of hilarious Brits and was a lot of fun. I can't say much about the first waterfall, called Mizol-Ha, as it is just exactly what you would expect from a large waterfall in the middle of the jungle. Beautiful. It was however somewhat overshadowed by the second, which was called Agua Azul. This is a set of cascading waterfalls that decend for a few kilometers through the jungle with large pools to swim in at each level, with the most glorious aqua blue water that looks like it has been dyed that colour. Its just a stunning place. After a few hours there swimming and enjoying the rope swings we were back on the bus for a short transfer to a lay-by where we waited for about an hour in the blistering heat for what we thought would be another tiny cramped minivan. However it was worth the wait as we were picked up by an enormous bus with seats that reclined flat and aircondition, which was very much appreciated as the 4 hour drive to San Cristobal is the made up of the most nauseating winding mountain roads you can imagine. The only downside was the Rob Schneider box-set they insisted on playing on the big screen.

When we arrive in San Cristobal I followed my travel buddies to the hostel they had booked, called Hostel Iguana, which was incredibly pleasant, lovely clean rooms and friendly staff, all round just what a hostel should be. San Cristobal is a beautiful colonial city set high in the mountains and covered in a network of criss-crossing cobble streets. It seems that at every corner there is a spectacular church either in working order or in a varying state of ruin, and I think I could happily have spent a week just walking around and exploring the place. The next day we took a tour as recommended by my sister with 'Alex y Raul' around the neighbouring Maya villages to learn a little more about their way of life and their religion, which is really rather unique. The tour was excellent with a knowledgeable and passionate guide, and the juxtaposition of old and new in the villages is astonishing. It takes some getting used to seeing someone dressed in full Maya robes performing an ancient ritual with a Shaman, brushing leaves over their bodies, then driving off in a Lexus. The most interesting part of the tour was a visit to the church in Chamula, where the people worship St John above Jesus or any of the other saints. Their religion is a mixture of old traditional Maya ways and Christianity brought over by the Spanish, creating an interesting hybrid which seems incredibly obscure, but to be honest is no stranger than any other religion. The entire floor of the church is absolutely covered in pine needles, with hundreds of clusters of candles set into the floor but amazingly they have never had a large fire. People will kneel at these candles and wave bottles of Pepsi or Orange soda over them in a ritual that used to be performed with alcohol but is now performed with the fizzy drinks of the same colour. As I watched one family performing this ritual, they all started taking shots of the alcohol they produce in the village, then took a chicken from a bag I hadn't even noticed and proceeded to snap it's neck. As I say, all very strange to me, but it makes for quite a spectacle. I was taught the reasons for all these strange rituals during the tour, but I shalln't bore you with them now. Unfortunately we weren't allowed to take photos in the church, it really did have to be seen to be believed. If any of you are ever travelling through the area I really would recommend this tour, it was fascinating and I left feeling very pleased at doing a tour that was slightly more cultural and less adventure.

However the next day I went back to my adventurous ways and took a tour of nearby Canyon del Sumidero, again with my two travel amigos. This is an awe inspiring kilometer high canyon with a large river flowing through, which we floated down on a large boat. The views are remarkable and we were lucky enough to get pretty up close and personal with a couple of crocodiles, which apparently doesn't happen on every trip. We also saw a variety of birds including vultures and all round had a great morning. Again, highly recommended (thanks for the tip Karen!).

After the obligatory large night out, I spent the next day relaxing/sleeping off the headache and again exploring the town, and said goodbye to my travel buddies who were heading back to Cancun. The following day I took a shuttle bus all the way to Antigua in the south of Guatemala. Fairly simlar to San Cristobal, Antigua is another beauiful little colonial town set in the basin of three volcanos giving some pretty spectacular views from any point in the cobbled streets. I felt brave on my first morning, so I took a trek up to a viewing point with a large cross monument called Cerro de la Cruz in spite of the fact that my lonely planet guide said it was a hot spot for bandits and I shouldn't go without being accompanied by a member of the tourist police. However, the staircase up to the cross was essentially lined with tourist police and I couldn't have felt safer. My bravery was rewarded with incredible views (I'm running out of adjectives here, everything I see is stunning and incredible!) over the whole of Antigua and the nearby volcanos. The following day I hiked up an active volcano called Pacaya about an hour away with a very pleasant gay couple who had given up their lives as a doctor and a pilot in the US to rent houses to nudists in Oaxaca, Mexico...as I say, I travel with all sorts. It was a fairly difficult climb and gave me a good chance to break in my hiking boots before the Inca Trail, but when we reached the top it was incredibly cloudy and we could barely see our hands in front of our faces. Our guide obviously knew the place as he advised that if we sat for 5 minutes the cloud would clear, and sure enough in the space of about 5 seconds our visibility went from about 5 metres to 500 metres, giving yet more amazing views. We spent some time at the top, toasting marshmallows in the heat of the volcano etc, then embarked on the trek back down.

Once back in Antigua, I booked myself some mountain biking for the following day. Seeing as I'm pretty keen on the moutain biking I booked on a trail for experts that I knew would be fairly challening, so was a little dismayed when I arrived to start the next day and found that my group consisted of me, the guide, and a couple from America who seemingly had never ridden a mountain bike before. The man in the couple particularly seemed shakey even on the roads to where the difficult trails started, and this unfortunately was the theme of the day. The guide and I would generally fly down the steep technical bits of the trail having a great time and arriving at the bottom with big smiles on our faces. A few minutes later we would enjoy the sight of the girl rattling down looking terrified, but the guy would be nowhere to be seen. He would then tend to stumble down a few minutes later, covered in dust and cuts. After this happened a few times and he had some really quite nasty cuts on the palms of his hands we had to abandon the rest of the ride and just head back along the road, missing the best parts of the day's riding. I was frankly pretty annoyed as I had paid $50 US to do some real mountain biking, not ride along some roads, but yet again, c'est la vie. The riding did however really give me back my passion for being on a bike, so methinks that'll be my first purchase when I get home.

Then I made the biggest mistake on my travels so far and set foot in 'Nuevo Destino' travel agency in Antigua. I was looking to book myself a shuttle to a nearby area called Semuc Champey, that I will explain shortly, with plans to head to Belize in the not too distant future. However, the lady there was very friendly and convincing and managed to convince me to book far more than I should have done with her. All in all I ended up booking a bus to Semuc Champey, a tour the next day, another bus to Flores, a tour of Tikal the following day, then finally a bus to Belize City the following day. I had popped my head into a few other travel agencies and her prices seemed similar, so I thought this was going to be a nice easy efficient way to get from Antigua to Belize, seeing some nice sights en route. How wrong I was.

My bus to Semuc Champey was supposed to pick me up from my hostel at 8 the following morning, but the hostel recieved a call at 5 past 8 saying they couldn't pick me up, I had to walk across town for 20 minutes to meet them. So I did so, with my ridiculously oversized rucksack, and eventually managed to find the bus, only to find that the travel agency hadn't paid the bus company so I had no place on the bus. Here my lack of Spanish really didn't help, but thankfully there were some people on the bus who could translate for me. I called the travel agent to ask what was going on, and she told me she had tried to pay but the bus company shop was shut, went on an enormous rant about how lazy and rude the indigenous people were (because the bus driver was indigenous) but said she wasn't racist as she was Mexican, then said she would come meet the bus to pay. She eventually arrived about an hour later and went on the exact same rant at the bus driver about how lazy and rude his people were, whereas in reality he couldn't have been much nicer and more friendly, and she was just certifiably insane. However thankfully I finally got on the bus and was off to Lanquin, a small town just outside the Semuc Champey national park.

I arrived at the hostel she was supposed to book me into called 'Zephyr Lodge' and found out that she had forgotten, but had called about an hour previously, shouting at them that they had to find me a bed, even though they were thoroughly over booked. Thankfully a guy who works their called Dieter was an absolute legend and told the hostel that I was his best mate, and they managed to find me a bed. From here things got briefly significantly better! The hostel was my favourite so far by a mile, nestled into the side of a jungle covered mountain, surrounded by mountains and with a small river flowing through the valley it overlooks, it was absolute paradise. The showers had open back walls so you could shower watching the sunset over the mountains, the rooms were clean and comfy and the food incredible, and my stress instantly disappeared and I was a very happy chappy again. I happened to bump into a great group of guys that I had met previously in Tulum, and met a lot more amazing people and had a great time that night. The next day the whole group were going on a tour of Semuc Champey, and I was incredibly disappointed to find that the tour that the crazy lady had booked me on to was with a different company, cost about 3 times the price and was just me, an American couple and a guide, who was the grumpiest person I have ever met and flaty refused to talk a lot of the time. However, all this didn't stop me from having a ridiculously good day at Semuc Champey. It is a very hard place to describe (if you search on google you will see what I mean) but it is essentially an enourmous limestone bridge with cascading waterfalls again providing beautiful swimming pools similar to Agua Azul. We climbed for 30 minutes to a lookout point which was absolutely remarkable, then spent the rest of the morning exploring the pools, sliding from one to the next down natural rock slides, jumping off high places and generally having a ball. In the afternoon I discovered that Guatemalans really don't care for health and safety, as I took a tour through some caves in Semuc Champey. Again this is a hard experience to describe, but involves climbing and swimming through caves, with only a candle each to guide us. At one point we reached a waterfall about 20 feet high with a rope hanging with which we were supposed to climb it. While I enjoyed it, as did the other guy in my group, we were also with a couple of slighthly overweight Israeli girls who weren't particularly built for it... at one stage one of them reached about half way then slipped and absolutely slammed into the rock. How she held her grip on the rope I'm not sure, but thank god she did or methinks she wouldn't have been walking out of there. The rest of the tour was pretty similar to this, jumping off rocks into pitch black dark pools of water etc, and once I made it out alive, I realised I had thorougly enjoyed it. We then went for a slightly more subdued float down the river on a tube, hurled ourselves off a 12m high bridge a few times, then headed back to the hostel. Again had a great night at the hostel and was very sad to leave the next day on a bus, which remarkable the crazy lady had actually paid for, to Flores in the north of Guatemala. However there was one more complication: I hadn't really researched Lanquin and didn't realise that it was a pretty remote place with no cash point, and the hostel didn't take cards so I had no way of paying. Thankfully it was Dieter's day off and he agreed to come on the shuttle with me for 2 hours to the nearest cash point so I could pay him and he would make his way back to the hostel. Legend.

Then what quickly became known as 'The Kidnapping' occurred... We had been driving for about an hour when we reached a sketchy road block made of large boulders. However the man kindly moved the boulders and let us through, so we drove through all thanking him profusely, thinking we were free to go on our way. Then we saw that the road was blocked again in front of us, this time by a number of large trucks with banners, and saw that a number of other tourist shuttle buses were stuck there. As we looked behind us to see if we could leave the way we came, we saw that they were also reversing trucks up behind us, completely blocking us in. We all got off the bus and found that they were protesting against the government taking their land, and were essentially using us to bargain with the government and try and set up a meeting. This all sounds a lot more dramatic than it actually was, and thankfully the protest was completely non-violent, so we essentially just all sat in the sun reading or playing cards for about 4 hours until the Guatemalans finally got their meeting with the president, and they let us go on our way. We were however incredibly lucky, some other tourists had been stuck there over 24 hours and had to sleep in their shuttle buses. So finally I was on my way to Flores. I should also note that this shuttle that I booked from the crazy lady was about 3 times the price of the shuttle run from the hostel.

I arrived in Flores and went to the hotel that she had booked for me called 'Hotel Itza 1'. She assured me it was the place to stay in Flores and would cost me 40 Quetzals a night. In reality it was the biggest hole you can ever imagine and the rooms were over 100 Quetzals a night, so I swiftly cancelled my reservation and went to check out hostel 'Los Amigos', which really is the place to stay on the island. Unfortunately they were full, but the guy who worked there listened to my story and let me stay on the floor on some cushions, which was actually very comfortable. The next day I had my tour of Tikal, again organised through the crazy lady and again 3 times the price of the tour run by the hostel. She assured me that the tour included everything, but when the shuttle arrived to pick me up the driver told me that the entrace fee of 150Q wasn't included and that I should just give it to him there and then. I'm still not sure if that was the case or if he was just taking advantage of me as it was just me and him in the bus at that stage, but either way I had no choice but to hand it over. The tour was actually brilliant, with an incredibly knowledgeable guide who spoke perfect English, a great lunch, and the ruins themselves were just spectacular. After climbing to the top of the highest tower I was mobbed by about 45 teeneage Guatemalan girls who made me stay up there having photos taken with them as they draped themselves over me in increasingly inappropriate ways. I had been warned that white people were treated like rock stars in Latin America, but that was something else. I now know what it feels like the be Justin Bieber...awesome.

Apart from that the rest of my stay in Flores was fairly uneventful. I wouldn't say it is an amazing place, but it's a good base for a trip to Tikal and then to head on to Belize. The next day my bus arrived to take me to Belize City, and yet again cost about 3 times what the shuttle from the hostel cost. I was planning to head straight to a small island off the coast of Belize City called Caye Caulker, which required a little boat to shuttle us over. At the beginning of the journey a man came on the bus to sell tickets for this shuttle, and I went off to get some cash while everyone else bought theirs. The man then came and met me at the cash point and told me it was 400Q, which I foolishly handed over before going back to the bus and finding out that everyone else had only paid 200Q. Mug. When we arrived in Belize City we then found out that 200Q was over twice he price we actually needed to pay for the tickets, so I had paid over 4 times the necessary price. At this stage I was just so happy to be out of Guatemala as it seems they all just want to take as much of your money as they physically can.

However, yet again my stress melted away when I arrived in Caye Caulker, which is a really cool Caribbean island where the motto is "go slow", and people really live by that motto. It's an expensive place, much more expensive than the rest of Latin America, but I've been happy to spend a bit more money on somewhere where the food is amazing and English is the first language. Unfortunately all the hostels were full when I arrived, so I've been staying in a fairly overpriced hotel, but to be honest it's been nice to have my own space again for a while. I have been here a few days now and have spent my days relaxing in the sun or going on a couple of dives, and all round I'm feeling very chilled. I was planning to book flights from here to Bogota in Colombia but unfortunately the prices went up by over 100 pounds over night, so I'm now flying to Quito in Ecuador in two days. I'd love to do a tour of the Galapagos while I'm there, but methinks they are about $1000, so we shall see.

So as you can see, these past few weeks I have spent about 4 times as much money as I should have done, and it's unfortunate that I left Guatemala with a slightly soured opinion of the place and the people, as it really is one of the most beautiful countries I have ever been to. Apologies if this blog doesn't read as well as it should, I have had a lady singing very tunelessly in my ear the entire time in this internet cafe, making it rather hard to concentrate!

Take care everyone.

Ryan

---