USA

When people decide to cheat they grapple with two worlds that of the exciting outer world full of danger and unexpected outcomes and that of the stable nourishing mundane home world. They are pulled between two ideals that of faithfulness and that of loyalty. Loyalty is what a person wants for them self and faithfulness is what the world wants from the person. Though the two words are synonyms they possess very different meanings in the realm of cheating.
The act of betraying a person especially someone with whom one is in love requires cunning, viciousness and a dash numbness or stupidity from the side of the betrayed. Far beyond that the deceiver must possess the willingness to become someone else entirely, a monster of sorts, but not an abomination. I say that due to the fact that I agree with cheating to a point.
I don’t believe that human beings are designed to be monogamous and yet I do believe in loyalty, more on loyalty later. The cheater must have two sides. They need to turn into a Mr. or Mrs. Hyde in order to live with their decision; because it is a decision to cheat. They also need to have the energy, economy and ego to maintain two lifestyles. The monster is who the cheater wants to be or wants to have others see them as and the man at home is simply the man.
Men are often blamed or labeled cheaters or unfaithful, however a man will spend an entire lifetime devoted to one particular sports team or even to a brand of beer. Men separate into categories of loyalty and are trapped in an idea of duty to the country to the division with which they are associated to the colors of their armor on the battlefield whatever that may be. Although, when it comes to women, men are on a purely primal level and want to have several or at least more than one woman in their harem.
Poll a hundred guys and ask them what their biggest sexual fantasy is and I would bet you that an over whelming number of them would tell you that they would want to be with two women at the same time, or even more for that matter. That is the conqueror in men. They gather women as trophies and prizes, possessions to be had. Men truly see women as objects any man that says otherwise is lying or gay.
Women on the other hand are not made of everything nice, but they are sprinkled with sugar and spice. They are the nectar of the gods. The live and die by their bodies and when they wither they begin to use their “but I have done all of this for you…” points. They have the power to take a man and mould him into a child raising, job holding, lawn cutting, trash-taking outing hero of suburban life. I have seen it happen. They fucking drown them in that shit. Women thrive on being desired. When the man that they are with falters in expressing his desire for her, even a little the woman strays. Even if just in their minds. Women spend that extra hour in the morning getting ready in order to be desired.
Pinter knows all to well what men and women are thinking when they decide to cheat. He carried on an affair with BBC Television personality Joan Bakewell, which occurred for seven years, from 1962 to 1969. HA HA… they split in 69! Anyway when Pinter put pen to paper he must have put himself into Jerry’s shoes. Jerry is the hero of the story. He is the antagonist. He is the only character dealing with the loyalty VS faithfulness battle.
Jerry is loyal to Robert. Robert is his “boy” as he often refers and yet he fucks his wife. Why? Well perhaps for the same reasons we climb mountains or perhaps for the same reasons that Paris lead Helen away from Sparta. There is the “can I do this…” factor. Can I fuck this woman on her wedding night? Or there is also the idea that Jerry just might have thought that it would have brought him and Robert closer.
Whatever the reason the first time happened, it happened. It was probably exciting. The first time you cheat and get away with it only makes you want to do it more. When you get over the fear part of jumping out of a plane and fall for the fist time you don’t really know what is going to happen, but when you land safely on the ground and don’t die, the only thing that you want to do is get back up in that plane and do it again. The thrill of sex and possibly getting caught probably got Jerry through the first year of the affair, but it was his fear and guilt that kept him in the relationship.
Jerry being the hero of the story oozes with loneliness. Loneliness will lead a person to do crazy shit like continuing a relationship with your best friend’s wife out of fear that it might all crumble and you will lose them both. That is the crux of the play. Why do they or don’t they just break up or leave their wives and husbands? That is our famed dramatic question.
Robert falls into the antagonist role by default due to the fact that he is the obstacle in the way of the elixir which is Emma, the object of desire. The Squash game represents the battle field which Robert keeps calling Jerry to come to throughout the play. Casey is the spirit guide that never walks on stage, but is always present. Ned and all of the other children are the innocence that must be protected at all cost. The play is a tragedy because no one wins in the end. The spine of the play is: To love and be loved in return. It is a very David Bowie spine. Since nine times out of ten the spine is to make everything alright, this is the one time that it isn’t. For everything to be alright the realism of the play must be shattered and time would need to stop on that day when they were all in the kitchen and then time would slow to a halt with a little girl in the air and husbands and wives and children and happiness all around.

---

---