Geo: -39.2489, 175.552There are all sorts of pilgrimages one can do on the planet earth, usually of the spiritual variety, involving long and torturous journeys, and are a means to get closer to a higher power. So today, being Christmas Day, we thought it would only be fitting if we did our own pilgrimage, in honour of this special occasion. So we decided to hike to Mount Doom, and pay a visit to Lord Sauron for high tea!It was terribly unlike Lord Sauron, who is normally a very accommodating and gracious host, but despite our prior communications confirming our date for tea today, he was nowhere to be found after a long, two-hour hike in the heat. Luckily for us, a few of the Nazgul were hanging around in the basement, smoking up some Longbottom leaf ... read more

Geo: -41.2865, 174.776First impressions are rarely wrong, and today's arrival into Wellington by ferry certainly left a lot to be desired, starting with the weather. Windy and grey, it wasn't the nicest of summer days as our ferry sailed into Wellington, and stepped off the boat into a rather dreary-looking port. Walking from there to our furnished apartment wasn't much better, as Wellingtons CBD, or Central Business District, as Kiwis like to call it, certainly didn't look to be the most thrilling of places to explore. The more affluent parts of the CBD didn't look much better - while there were a handful of more upscale stores, it didn't appear to have much character, especially when we took the apartment's recommended shortcut up through a parkade elevator, and past what seemed to be a series of ... read more

Geo: -41.2929, 174.006Traveling around the Earth has, to be brutally honest, gotten a little bit boring - so where to travel to next, once this happens? A flight to outer space? Nah - way too expensive, and it also seems far too gimmicky, paying all that money to take a glorified flight, albeit to a much higher altitude. There can be only one place to go - to Middle Earth, of course! The land of hobbits, dwarves, orcs, and enough hottie elves to keep both men and women happy - how could this not be the most amazing place to visit, a realm of beauty beyond comprehension, one far beyond the reach of mere mortals?Think about it - where do people typically go on their honeymoon? Hawaii? Mexico? A Caribbean cruise? Pshaw, all done to death! ... read more

Geo: 13.7069, -89.2018Today was cause for celebration - having wreaked too much havoc in the Guatemalan and Salvadoran criminal underworlds, we received word that the gangs had given up on getting revenge on us. So we honoured this most special occasion in the most Salvadoran way possible - with several rounds of beer at a ... Salvadoran craft brewery???!!? Who woulda thunk it, that a place like El Salvador would have a cool, hipster-esque craft brewery?Sure, we had sampled some Cadejo beer in a few different places in El Salvador, but it really didn't clue in to us how unique this truly was in a developing country such as this, until we rolled into San Salvador. Not having traveled through any of the more affluent parts of El Salvador until today, we had almost forgotten that ... read more

Geo: 13.9344, -89.0238It doesn't matter how many times I get reincarnated, one thing never gets old - spending a languid morning spooning in bed, underneath a warm tortilla blanket, made of freshly-ground corn, by an old Salvadoran granny. Soft, warm, and squishy, there is no bed anywhere that is as cozy as one covered by a fresh corn tortilla. Ahhh ... such a grand way to start the day ... until, the gang sent their elite group of assassins to take us out!!!The gang had upped their efforts, sending type of killers that you definitely don't want to mess with - for all of the horrific assassins I've disposed of during my countless lifetimes, I have never seen any as frightening as the ones that showed up in our room today. Known as the Barbie Butchers, ... read more