Cockle
Nick C Joined: August 28th 2007
Logged in: February 12th 2012
Logged in: February 12th 2012
I'm an English guy currently living and teaching EFL in Vietnam.
Here I intend to bang on about my exploits in Vietnam and waffle endlessly about any trips that I should be fortunate enough to make.
My goal: To continue living a full, happy and fulfilling life free from the brainwashing of modern day technology and free from the pressures to conform to puerile and vacuous pursuits that so many mindlessly adhere to without even asking why.
My quest: To continue my personal crusade against pretentiousness and narcissistic tendencies that are quickly engulfing the human race and to continuing fighting for the reintroduction of morals, values and standards that seem to have all but vanished from society as we know it.
Extremely outspoken, very opinionated, rather sarcastic and always controversial......
Just remember: Spread the lurve and free your mind!
E-Mail tropicalgardener@hotmail.com
I'd like to share with you some of my favourite travel quotations as a departure from the usual tired and cliched ramblings and maunderings of the overrated, literary exhibitionist, Mark Twain:
"Travel's great innit....."
Some guy on Southend seafront
“The tragedy of Canada is that it could have had British culture, French cuisine and American technology. Instead it got American culture, British cuisine and French technology”
Oscar Wilde on Canada (courtesy of Uncyclopedia)
“When you come to a fork in the road….take it....if you find a spoon, make sure it's clean before you use it”
Yogi Berra
"Oh....you don't want to go there....It's dangerous!"
My Mum
"A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car"
Emile Ganest
"Travels develop your mind, if you have one, of course"
G. Chesterton
“Where the hell is Australia anyway?"
Britney Spears
"Lo and on the 8th day, the Lord surfed TravelBlog and saw that it was good....."
Semi-Official King Hubert XXXXXXIV Transmogrification of the Holy Scriptures
"I love Africa in general South Africa and West Africa, they are both great countries"
Paris Hilton
"Eeee by gum, me bloody feet narf hurt"
Moses after completing his 40 year tour of the Sinai
"Travel is like sex. You want to do it all the time, but in reality, you only get to do it once or twice a year"
Cockle
Travel Blog Posts
Jimbaran Bay at Sunset
As our visit here rapidly came to its conclusion, we decided to explore the areas south of the Denpasar/Kuta region and see if finally, we could find somewhere that would leave us with a positive image of this place. Jimbaran is just south of Denpasar airport, yet it is still relatively unknown on the tourist circuit and while the backpackers seem to have found a niche here, most others make a mad dash for Nusa Dua or Benoa whose tiny, narrow roads make rush hour on the M25 look like a country lane on a Sunday afternoon. Having spent 2 weeks on this island, I’m left with a stunned sense of bewilderment and a rather bad taste in my mouth. If I could have ever stood accused of generalising about one place in particular, then it ... read more
Tanah Lot
The weather wasn’t much better the following day when we made our way up to Munduk. Sick of getting a soaking and rapidly running out of dry clothes, we decided instead to hire a car and driver. The small town we were heading for was constructed by the early Dutch settlers and rumour has it that the famous, Flemish painter, Sir Anthony Van Dyck tagged along and attempted to settle here but got fed up with the constant hails of horse and carriage, horse and carriage, the filthy beaches, the grotty weather and the last straw came when he got ripped off and was forced to shell out an extra 50 guilders for his favourite Zware shag where upon he subsequently buggered off back to Antwerp. Another rumour persists. His famous portrait 'Samson and Delilah' does ... read more
Ubud Jalopy
Well, I've finally had enough of Bali. I’ve been everywhere on my scooter except the far west of the island and the area south of Denpasar and have already decided that everything is getting too ‘same same’ for my liking and that this island is just too mucky and simply isn’t diverse or interesting enough for me. I wish I had time to explore Java and meet Dancing Dave for a few bevvies but I only have 3 days until my flight leaves for Thailand so I will just have to content myself with this tiny part of Indonesia. So, what I have I learnt? Well, most of the main beaches are filthy, men wear tea towels on their heads and both the men and the women wear skirts. Indonesian food is quite tame and vastly ... read more
Besakih
I contemplate the scene ahead. The stormy sea intent on intimidating me with its towering walls of brine which gratuitously display their raw and savage anger. Arching waves lunge desperately trying to grasp me, yet despite their immense power, they fail to reach. Its blustery companion, the wind, blows like a tempestuous maiden carrying on her breath the umm.... heady scent of brassicas and other organic matter entering its final stages of decomposition. My gaze averted, I look down to behold the .......err....ahh.....bloated, putrefied remains of a once beloved pet being limply tossed back and forth by the reciprocating surf, my leg subsequently being gently embraced and caressed by a week old sanitary towel carried on the incoming tide........no, no more, I can't be dealing with this pretentious b s and overly contrived clap trap. As ... read more
Sunset in Candi Dasa
Well, what a difference 50 or so kilometers make. Going from a manic, hyperactive, hormone oozing area like Legian to the relatively quiet and chilled out town of Candi Dasa is like going from Mumbai to Goa! Once a sleepy little town on the south eastern coast of Bali, this town is now becoming very popular with those seeking to escape the mayhem and excesses of the areas around Denpasar. It also seems to have been taken over by the Australians. In the UK, the closest, most exotic destinations we get are Torremolinos and the Canary Islands, they get Indonesia, Papua New Guinea and New Zealand! I mean, how fair is that? But good luck to them I say. The Aussies I tend to run into are always a great bunch, know how to party and ... read more
Offerings
If Legian is the average tourists idea of paradise then they can keep it. When you think of Bali, you picture it as being a sleepy little island where the locals ride around on elephants and buffalo, the silence is broken only by the sea breeze blowing gently through the palm leaves above your head, the beaches are all white and spotlessly clean and it's generally a place where life takes on an easy going, laid back approach. Well, nothing could be further from the truth. The areas around Denpasar are like Ibiza on steroids! Dunka dunka music makes a constant assault on your eardrums from every direction. Hedonistic, drunken twits wander around in search of their next conquest while members of the opposite sex wear as little as possible which can often be quite stomach ... read more
Tanjong Beach
Part of the reason for coming on this trip was to lose some of the excess flab and chunkiness that I seem to have mysteriously acquired over the last year or so, but, I've been so busy gorging myself stupid on many of the culinary delights that exist here that it looks like my attempts at err.....dieting, are going rather rapidly, down the swanny! I was hoping for some good old fashioned tropical heat too, to help rid me of my extra kilos. But at this time of year, Singapore has entered its monsoon season and the weather is mostly overcast and wonderfully cool although still relatively humid. While the mainstream restaurants are prohibitively expensive, the hawker stands that abound on almost every street. serve up of lashings good value, scrummy fare. Main dishes cost from ... read more
On our way!
Warning: This blog is of a highly exotic nature. I would advise against proceeding any further unless you are prepared to view the highly graphic imagery within. I will not be held responsible for any unnatural urges or bizarre physical reactions that may occur as a result of looking at this material! You have been warned! If you have got this far then most of you are no doubt searching frantically for the back button, unless like me you are a palmoholic who loves nothing more than gratuitous displays of horticulture expressed most effectively and shamelessly by the genera known as Arecaceae. Singapore's Botanical Gardens has what I would consider to be one of the best palm collections I have ever set eyes upon and I will of course be getting to all that later on ... read more
Long Hai Beach
Well, this will be my last blog for a while as I'm soon jetting off to more relaxing climes in an attempt to escape the Tet madness here in 'Nam. But, I've been getting roped into a series of day trips of late so I might as well do a final write up before I leave. Two different beaches in the space of 5 days must be an all time record for me. Thursday is a normal teaching day which means that I can't usually get away for more than a few hours, however, my wife Quynh convinced me that if we started out early then we could get back well before I was due to start work. I wonder why I listen to her sometimes, well, it must be love...... Long Hai is around 20km ... read more
Thuy Tien Beach
Once or twice a year our school organises trips for our students, usually to some out of the way tourist resort or theme park. Our last trip was to Suoi Tien park near Ho Chi Minh City where I became an impromptu, kindergarten carer to 150 kids ranging in age from 7-16; which is NOT my idea of a fun day out! However, this trip was solely for our adult students and our destination was to be a spotless and virtually untouched beach near the small village of Thuy Tien which is just outside the grotty and heavily touristed town of Vung Tau. The excursions are organised around Christmas, due to the fact that by this time of year, the monsoon is usually over. The only downside to these trips are the early rises. Despite my ... read more
Lived 
Travelled 
Where I'm from 
