Man flu. It makes Ebola look like the common cold, its ancient form no doubt wiped out the dinosaurs and im sure the flu the conquistadores brought with them to the new world was man flu. I’ve managed to contract the super virus in the driest desert on earth 1000's of miles from the ailments only known cures such as hot whiskeys coupled with generous helpings mums Chile concarne and a Sunday watching the rugby with dad. Man flu is the least of my concerns right now as the bus, after driving through darkness for hours has dropped us at the bus station at the edge of town in total darkness and we have to navigate our way to the hostel, rucksacks tethered to our backs and day bags to our front making us looked like ... read more

Right, no internets for the past few days so its catchup time. Im going to post the first Vino Entry up here and the second tomorrow... I'm walking around town carrying a packet of dried dogfood. Niamh has taken it upon herself to feed every stray dog in Vina del Mar. One of the things that strikes you about South American cities that there are dozens upon dozens of stray dogs wandering around. The Latino tradition of machismo extends right down to the animals and the concept of chopping off the wandering dogs plumbing is seen as a big no no. You'll see dogs swill sunning themselves on the shopping streets, whole packs lying out in public parks and should you make eye contact with one it will potter along after you hoping to score a ... read more

I’m walking through Mendoza and I am urgently seeking the presence of an armed man. While that might seem to be an exceedingly foolish errand in South America there is method to this madness. I need to take out cash and both myself and Niamh have re-entered high alert mode, a mode that hasn’t been utilised since our trip in Rio for reasons I will elaborate on momentarily. Eventually I find a slightly rotund policeman, Browning hi power automatic hanging from his hip standing next to a cash machine, knowing that south American police have a reputation for being trigger euphoric rather then trigger happy I commence pleasantries with the Bano Automatico, content in the knowledge that mr policeman will empty his magazine of 13 rounds of 9mm bullets with gay abandon at anyone who accosts ... read more

The boula bus drifts into the wind swept bus station, the dirt steams from the wheels and locals in heavy jackets and parkas, their heads turned away from the cutting rain scatter before it lugging suitcases and shepherding small children. The doors open and a man steps out, clad in brilliant bright blue Bermudas, his toes already blueing from exposure and his private parts retreating from the frigid air into the lower echelons of his abdomen like a started hermit crab. Immediately after him comes petit Blondie in navy hot pants, eyes hidden behind sunglasses as large as saucers, she slings her bags over Bermuda man’s shoulder so that he resembles a bipedal packhorse and scurries off toward the bathroom. Myself and niamh clearly didn’t think ahead concerning Patagonia’s weather when we boarded the bus in ... read more

I’ve done a bad thing, I’ve been in Buenos airs only an hour and I’ve feel into the temptation of the golden arches, I am in the country that cooks red meat better then any other in the world and I settle for THAT. I had no saying in the matter, once you see the golden arches, smell the sweet scent of reheated frozen hamburger patties and witness the grinning welcoming smile of that fucking clown Ronald you just can’t say no. The hidden crack or whatever drug Mackey d´s puts in its chips guides you in like a fat bird to the Ben and J counter and you just have to accept you eating it and will inevitably feel awful after the first bite. NEVER AGAIN. Aside from my food mishap, we did a pop ... read more