A Typhoon and a right royal toe stubbing

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The Philippines being one massive collection of islands means that it is a hell of a lot of pissing about if you want to travel anywhere. By the time I finish my dealings with the Philippines I would have taken 5 flights, a few boat rides and an array of buses, taxis and tricycle journeys. It proves much more of a headache than mainland south east Asia, and all these little journeys to and throw actually end up being quite costly, especially with the Filipinos trying to rip you off left, right and centre, terminal fees, environmental fees (ha!), fees that dont exist but then do exist because you are in the Philippines, not to mention the cowboy taxi drivers out here, they are just pure vermin.

On the topic of Boracay however I dont really have to much to say on the matter as to coincide with my arrival was a big fat nasty typhoon. Shitty wind and rain almost unrelentlessly for 4 days left me holed up and climbing the walls of my hotel bedroom. Naturally food drove me out to brave the elements, a brothers gotta eat. I got the joy of encountering some south east Asian toe stub. Allow me to explain myself, most countries in south east Asia have fucking shit roads and pavements, Boracay is no exception to the trend. Not only do you have to concentrate on the people and the traffic that surrounds you but more often than not you have to keep an eye on the ground as well to make sure that your not going to fall down a manhole or a cesspit, or impale yourself on something grimy. Well amongst all this it was nighttime, I had a typhoon to contend with as well as a couple of local brews in the system, so my guard was somewhat slack. I rammed my big toe into an erect and jagged piece of concrete. It totally boned me with its erect jaggedness, got me good, prized a massive chunk of skin off the tip off the end of my toe so that when I walked the skin flapped back and fourth. This wasnt really on so I decided to rip the flap off, bad idea, I ended up scalping my big toe, it looked like a brain by the time I had finished with it....not very good really.

This really was about the most exciting thing to happen to me on Boracay. I chose my day of departure wisely as leaving a day earlier would have left me stranded on the island as most of the transportation services in the area were cancelled due to the severity of the typhoon.

But anyway I escaped the typhoon and made way to Kalibo airport where I would take a flight to Manila. Shittest airport ever, no air con and about 2,000 people trying to check in and cram themselves into the departure lounge which was about the same size as Marchs WH Smiths. The plane was also late and you are left with a lack of confidence in believing that your luggage will make it to its next destination....or ones self for that matter!

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