bond, birthdays, fagins, football and christmas..

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Dec 14th
After a few days of perfecting my own approach to swinging round in a tunnel in a style reminiscent of the opening of bond films (I favour throwing my left hand out to the side and winking ), I strapped on my holster and gun lighter and swanked off to the Sheraton for the works Christmas party. I don’t think I’ve been to such a posh party, in fact I’ll rephrase that, I have never been to such a posh party. The ballroom at the Sheraton was big and fancy, people were swanning round in tuxedoes and ball gowns, the bar was free and the food spread was delicious.

Pretty much everyone who works for the company was there…managers, teachers, cleaners, car park attendant and the security guards. It was really cool, because you don’t usually get the chance to talk to some of the Vietnamese staff other than those in the teaching dept. As far as I can tell, nearly everyone at the party got hammered. My mate Jon went as Baron Samedi from ‘live and let die’, it was pretty cool, he had a big white top hat and pimp suit, which he wore until he appeared in the (and I use the term loosely) ‘talent show’. The show was a fucking shambles, but pretty funny. The school I work in did ‘blind date’ with Jon as Cilla Black. He traded his white suit for a black skirt and an orange wig someone had made out of paper. The wig made him look like he has dreadlocks and with his painted face he looked more like a deranged Boy George than Cilla. Still, one of the Vietnamese blokes dressed up as Pussy Galore was a dead ringer for ET (the bit when he gets dressed up by Drew Barrymore)), so maybe Jon got off lightly.

A couple of days later was my Birthday. We went out to a Chinese place and then on to a bar. It was a good night and was nice how when some people went home, others turned up having finished work (although to be honest, some people were out bevvying anyway as opposed to bevvying specially for me.) I got some cool presents, so thanks everyone. The Neon Neon album has been on constant play, I’ve driven Nick insane with Kate’s xmas CD, Jon took me to the driving range, Nick got me some propaganda posters and Thao got me a nice new shirt. I also had my phone nicked in a scene reminiscent of when Indian Jones returns all the children to the Indian village in Temple of Doom. I was mobbed by chewing gum vendors and whilst I wriggled to keep their mitts away from my wallet I wasn’t so lucky with my phone. There is probably a Vietnamese Fagin using it to direct street thefts now.

The next day I went on a date with a girl called Thu. I had met her a couple of weeks before and she wanted to take me out for my birthday. We ended up in the Fashion TV lounge, a pricey club that plays dreadful techno, and everyone is dressed
up to the nines. It was a good night. We threw a few shapes on the floor, she seemed to find the place suitably ridiculous, and as there was only a few of us on the dancefloor, me being the only male, I treated the ladies of Saigon to some awesome robotic showboating…I doubt there has been a robotic diplay like this since Gerado’s breathtaking 2 hour sequence in Portugal over two years ago.

The weekend before Xmas at work was pretty easy, most of my students had tests so I didn’t have to teach much, so before I knew it was nearly Christmas. We put a big tree up a week or so ago and so our house is pretty festive. In fact Saigon is pretty festive. The lights are pretty impressive throughout the city, the shops are full of xmas tat, and last week in district 5 I saw a fake Christmas tree lot, all these plastic trees on a traffic island and people wandering round ‘picking out the tree’. Some of the teachers at work have been a bit bah humbug about Christmas here, but most of the people I hang out with have been pretty into it. Claire received a big box of Christmas from her dad so Xmas day when we went to a hotel for a feast, we all had crackers and hats.
On Christmas Eve I went out with Thu to watch the Thailand/Vietnam match. Whilst Saigon is pretty nuts at the best of times, a combination of Christmas magic and football fever swept the city as Vietnam beat Thailand 2-1. We tried to catch a cab uptown to a pub to meet Nick and Loan, and had to abandon our cab a third of the way as the sheer mass of revellers made it impossible to pass. Out in the crowd it was fantastic, and made for a pretty memorable Christmas Eve.

The next morning we had champagne (well, cheap Russian Asti Spumante really but what the hell). Other Nick came round for a bit, and Nick’s girlfriend Loan. Our clener guy, Sang came round and joined us for lunch as the New World Hotel my and Nick’s Xmas present to him. The buffet was great, lots of food, however my gripes would be, no roast potatoes, no pigs in blankets and no mince pies…The meal went on all afternoon and by the time I wandered out with Jon and Tabby at half four, I was ready for a nap, whether a result of the booze, or the excessive carolling, I don’t know. Later in the evening I went round to Jon and Tabby’s for cheese and biscuits and Nintendo bowling…it was sweet.

Over Christmas I have had six days off work, and whilst I had intended having a break at the beach this weekend just gone, I decided to spend a rare, work free weekend in the city. I went to Karaoke with Thu and her friends, and as the only foreigner there I was bit worried what they would make of my “singing”. Im sure they found it dreadful, especially as the Vietnamese do karaoke in a far more refined manner than I am used to. Whenever I’ve been its just about shouting and fighting for mike time.

Yesterday, Sunday, I went to the horse racing and watched a bunch of children bomb round a racetrack on little horses. I kid you not. It was a good afternoon, although a little strange. In the evening I watched the football and then went out to join the ‘bao’ (storm) that accompanied the last minute gasper of the return match with Thailand. Vietnam scored with the last kick of the game and the place I was in went fucking mental. I haad the big VN flag from home so me, Thu, Nick and Loan went out to join the madness on the streets. Stayed out for a few beers and then caught a cyclo home through the crowds. By the time I went to bed about 3am this morning I could still hear half the city roaring around, waving flags and losing their minds. I've just found out from Nick that Sang and his mates, not suprisingly, were part of this and were unable to get home last night. As a result when nick went to work today the house was full of Sang and his mates....

Now I’m looking forward to New Year. I want to get onto teaching adult classes and plan to visit Cambodia at the end of Jan during the Tet festival. I apologise being a bit slack getting in touch with people over Christmas but my new phone doesn’t let me call abroad, I need to get a new sim card for it. I’ve also been plain lazy too. I’ve had a great Christmas, but I have missed the cold weather and the slobbing in front of the box as well as the general party season with everyone back home. Hope you have all had a good one, and all the best for 2009…I’ll be home in July…

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