Where good conscience isn't enough

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And again the Banana Horse has returned to Viet Nam. This time however with a single, lonely rider.

No pictures, just words for thought.

In 2007 the crew of the horse had an amicable separation brought on by a harsh dose of truth and severe navigational difficulties. The crew separated in the capital of the 'Nam, he Jaso going south back to Ho Chi Minh and eventually back to the great hot rock of the far south, and she Sarah continuing her travels throughout Asia.

This year he Jaso is back in Ho Chi Minh to catch up with friends and agitate in a political sense (not really). This trip was meant to be a panacea for the ills of modern living in the concrete infinity of the great hot rock; a break from the pretense and the thankless task of wage labour. It was meant to signify a reunion of people from half way across the world. It was meant to be so many things. But so many things it never was.

It is strange how quickly a set of circumstances can impact on the way you think of the world and your place in it. How quickly life can be taken away, how violently it can end, how real death is, how indiscriminate and how utterly painful and heart wrenching it is. They say death occurs everyday; but we know nothing of death because its touch never reaches as far as you think until it unexpectedly latches onto you and you know it in life.

People smarter than me have said that death is nothing more than the continuation of life. Maybe it is that simple; but I suspect it isn't.

Death makes you reflect on life, on the world you move in. It forces you to focus on the self, on the other. It asks you to think about the relationships you have with people, the relationships people have with you and your relationship to the world. It makes you realise that things are precious, things are wonderful, things are horrific and that certain things will stay with you until the end of your time no matter how painful.

Viet Nam remains a special place for me. But it is a place that I will know differently from now on, it is a darker place than the one I knew before. It is real. It is a place where good conscience isn't enough.


It is time to come home.

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