Vung Tau and the ride to Ben Tre

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I feel like I phoned it in a bit with my last post so I will try to make this one a good one. I woke up early and very well rested to completely crashing out the day before and sleeping for like 12 hours. I booked a ticket on a Hydrofoil out to the beach to of Vung Tau. 250.000 Dong and hour and half seemed like a small investment to escape the unmitigated chaos that is Ho Chi Minh. The boat left around 10 and boy, does that thing haul-ass. I was caught of guard by a few things on the trip; the Viet man sprawled out snoring to beat the band, 5 giant shirtless Czech men that all the locals seemed pretty wary of but the weirdest was the fact that on the TV they were playing Just For Laughs Gags.

I got to Vung Tau and sussed out a good little place for about 20$. I hung out at the bar and watched some rugby with an old aussie fellow and learned a bit about the place. It was a main port town for all the offshore drilling so there were piles of expats living there and lots of retired aussies. It creeped me out a little bit because there were countless old men, at least in their 70s with STUNNING Viet wives. The girls certainly are gorgeous here and every bar from night club to a hole in the wall usually is equipped with half a dozen sexy dressed women who will drink with you and I am certain anything else. It makes me a little bit uncomfortable but they are at least fun to play pool with. And Connect Four oddly enough. I have lost more games of connect four to Viet comfort girls than I care to say.

I walked around town and this also seems to be a big furniture city. The hand crafted wood furniture is opulent and would sell for thousands back home. Gorgeous stuff in bronze and polished brass as well. I kept walking well into the evening. A smiling Viet couple flashed a big smile at me and invited me over. So we talked through charades and translator app and they shared their beer with me. So I invited them out to go drinking and they were thrilled. They called up a bunch of their friends and I felt like a celebrity. It’s like they were so thrilled to have their very own tourist. It was absolutely fantastic and a testament to just what happens when you say “yes” to people every now and then.

The next day I was a little rough and was awoken by loud construction at about 7:00. The heat was gruesome. Once I had my wits about me by early afternoon, I decided to go to the beach. As the guidebook had warned, the beach in Vung Tau leaves much to be desired. It was pretty dead, way over priced and they charged you even for seeking some respite in the chairs in front of the restaurant which were nearly completely vacant. I went back to the hotel and hung out and played pool for awhile and ran into an Aussie guy who had hired a car for the next day to go back to Ho Chi Minh. What luck as he offered me a free ride back into town, saving me some money. I think there is something about this place that brings out everyone’s generosity. I had to be up by 7:00 so I kept that night pretty tame and got a good nights sleep. No need to set an alarm as the construction crew that I swear were actually working IN my room, invisibly, would kindly perform that service for me.

The next day the trip to HCM was uneventful but it was pleasant to have the company. IN a country where I already feel like a giant this guy must has straight up terrified people. He was an ex- pro rugby player who was about 6’6” and 300 lbs. I don’t exaggerate when I say he was basically Shrek. Anyways I got back to my Hotel, despite getting ripped off by a motorcycle taxi for about 10$. I have learned you just have to accept getting ripped off every now and then. It’s generally not a lot of money and if I had kids here, I would probably rip off the ignorant white guy too. About 40 minutes after I checked into my Hotel, weather happened. In the parlance of Forrest Gump “there was little bitty, rain, big ol fat rain, sideways rain. Within minutes the streets were flooded about 2 feet deep. Of course that didn’t stop most from going about their commutes, they just power through it. I decided maybe this was a good rest day so I spent the afternoon hanging out in my hotel room listen to the thunder and embracing some comfort. The rain blocks out the noise of the intense traffic so it was actually quite peaceful. I connect with Nga again, a girl I met a few nights before and her family owns a pastry stand in Ben Tre. So I resolved tom get up early, get a SIM card (for maps) and a motorbike and make to 2 hr journey to Ben Tre, in the Mekong Delta.

So I got the motorcycle purchased by about 8:00 and it was leaking gas like a sieve within a block of the “dealership.” However, they were good about it and put on a whole new carb assembly for me. Generally if something is going to go, it’s going to be that so I think it was actually a blessing that I got a new part for it. I got my SIM card and my phone unlocked and started mentally preparing to tackle the traffic. I planned my route with care, watched the other bikes for another 20 minutes for habits and pointers and then made the plunge. Once I was in it, I actually didn’t find it hard at all! The only irrevocable rule is stay the fuck away from big trucks. Semi’s never look as big as when you on a motorbike that weighs less than you do. Other than that I would just find people going the same way as me and follow them. Left Turn? Easy, just make sure someone is infront of you on the oncoming side. Having the phone be able to get my location was critical as I pulled over probably 6 times just to make sure I was on the right way out of the city. What the map does NOT tell you is that motorbikes are not allowed on the freeway. I got to a toll booth on the freeway and some people flagged me down and turned me back. After a masterful game of charades and pointing to maps, I figured out where I had to go. This did require me to drive the wrong way down the road, on the shoulder (where oncoming bikes hang out) but like always I zipped up until I found another person going the wrong way and just followed them. The whole trip took me about 3 hours which considering this I my first time riding here, I felt not too bad about it. I didn’t even really have any close calls, you just have to be aware.

I got to Ben Tre and met up with Nga. I said I would take her out to dinner and dancing so after showering up and getting a hotel, we went out for a walk. Ben Tre is not like HCM. I have not seen a single other tourist here. When we were out walking in the evening, some people were curious but friendly about a Viet girl being out with a white boy, a few groups of young men were less so. I have no clue what they were saying but her reaction tells me they were not saying nice things about her or me. Fuck’em. Most Viet girls I have talked to prefer just about anyone to Viet men, except Malays.

We went out and had a hot pot seafood dinner like none other. We had prawns, eel, clam, oysters, sea snails, octopus, squid and I think there was even some snake in there. I just told her to order for me and off I went. It was excellent and there was some strange sauces I avoided but overall nothing I didn’t like. The whole thing was like $35. Then we went out to a very ritzy, high end club (of course she wanted to go there). This place was not so cheap (beers were $4!) and was filled with mostly men, some women, with bottle service of scotch and cognac. It was brutally loud but I think I was sent about 4 shots of high end booze because as I said again, being a white guy outside HCM is like being a celebrity. However like being a celebrity, it gets old after a while and you just want to blend in again. We had a few beers, (which they drink over ice, sadly) and danced for a while but came back around midnight. Today I am going on a tour with Nga of the Mekong Delta. She booked it and apparently it has horses, so we will see how that goes……I think then I am going to head back to the river market city for one night then back to HCM to see Inthran!

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