Latest from Hoi An

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The rainy season has definitely arrived in Hoi An! It's rained pretty much every day this week. Each day it gets progressively heavier resulting in some spectacular flooding down by the river and in most of the streets around Hoi An. It's making my bicycle trek out to the TB family quite challenging, although a friend has loaned me her electric bike (a cross between a bicycle and a motorbike) - whch is fab and definitely makes it a little easier, although it doesn't keep me any drier! It's now become a cause of great amusement to the staff at the hotel as they wait to see what condition I come back in each morning - which is mostly looking like a drowned rat!

On the subject of rats, I don't think I've mentioned how big they are here. No exaggeration, some of them are as big as cats. You see them running across the road at night when everything has shut down - which is quite early here - 12 midnight. If I'm out that late and I'm walking home rather than on my bike, I march back to my hotel to minimise the risk of one of them running across my feet. It's really scary 'cos I'm guaranteed to see at least half a dozen on the way home!

I'm definitely beginning to see an improvement in the TB family - even the mum, who has been the most sick. She's actually starting to look a normal colour now instead of deathly grey. We managed to persuade her not to go to work but to stay at home and rest - although with 5 very young boys running riot, that's quite difficult! I get a small taste of what it must be like for her as they go completely hyper as soon as I arrive in the morning. Anyway, fingers crossed, they're all on their way to a good recovery.

Not such good news for little Ngoc. The parents were extremely reluctant to take her back to the hospital for treatment. They told us that they would need to discuss it with the rest of the family and would let us know in 5 days time! Neither me or Giao (my friend and translator) could understand why they wouldn't grab a chance (even if a slim one) to make her better. After long negotiations with the parents (a couple of hour's discussion with them every day for 3 days) we managed to persuaded them to let us take her back to Danang which we did last Thursday. Only after meeting the doctor in Danang who had treated Ngoc before, did I fully understand the dilemma the parents were facing. The doctor confirmed that the treatment Ngoc had previously didn't seem to work and that she'd had a really severe reaction to it. She then explained that they could try other treatment, but there was no guarantee that it would work - it's only benefit might be to prolong her life a little longer than if she stayed at home - and that she might suffer as she had before. She also told me that Ngoc was in a very serious condition and that she would certiainly die at home without treatment. It was heartbreaking news and I was sure after what the doctor had told us that the family would not want Ngoc to be admitted to hospital. To my surprise, they agreed to try again - but then we discovered that we needed to get an insurance paper from the local hospital in Hoi An to cover the costs of any further treatment before Ngoc could be admitted. We agreed that we would get the paper and bring her back to the hospital the following Monday. However, on the Sunday morning, I received a message from the family saying they had changed their minds and didn't want Ngoc to have any further hospital treatment. I understood why they had made that decision, which must have been extremely difficult for them, but it was still a real blow. I've subsequently learnt that it is considered very unlucky for anyone, particularly children, to die away from the home as Vietnamese people are very supersticious and believe that the spirits of the deceased remain around the family home - but if the person dies away from home the spirits are left unconnected to the family. Giao also told me that she was very scared that we might have been held responsible by the extended family if Ngoc had gone back to hospital and the treatment didn't save her and that we would have been on the receiving end of some very nasty backlash from them - which was slightly concerning! I've been back to see the family this week and they've kindly agreed that I can visit Ngoc whenever I want - all that's left for me now is to help the family make her remaining time as special and comfortable as possible....................

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Comments

[Vietna mum]

Hi from Australia
Hi Julie, I have only just got around to reading your blogs, I have been too busy writing my own !! sorry.. I know we talk on the phone a lot but your blogs fill in the blanks , they are great. Give my love to all of the kids, I miss them sooooooooo much. I am starting to count down the weeks until I am back. Love from Karen.PS hope the next typhoon is not too bad!