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Spent my first day of dive training trying to not sleep whilst watching training DVDs and answering a booklet. Actually failed this task and went to sleep for 10mins in the training room.
Went to the doctors to get GP permission to dive. Had listed a half dozen possible physical and mental problems I had to confess but mostly none of them are ailing me recently. The nurses hooked me up by the ankles and wrists in a very worrying kinda device, giggling at my glorious hairy torso, but it was only to measure my heart beat at rest. The doctor commented it was quite low and asked if I exercise a lot. And that, that is one of the many examples relating to why the medical industry is flawed. It's their best guess at best. I ain't fit, or strong. I am a slightly overweight out of breath often drunk chimp who only really gets some fitness when I walks to clears my brain or just because, lacking a car, I have to. Regardless, he asked a few questions, signed off the form and got paid. Shits not given.
After theory I got myself nice and lost a
few kilometres from the adequate hotel and took a motorcycle back. After a shower I went walking again- met some funny enough party people from Aus and NZ and a nice Vietnamese girl who I had a bit of a good conversation with but I took off after consuming a procession of various Vietnamese fruits and veggies produced by her friend. I found a quiet bar/guesthouse and talked with two genuine older fellas before calling it a night.
So normally in this diving school, basic skills training is completed in the pool but it was closed (and its so funny cos people tell you totally different stories- even though I cant see any reason to lie about it- I trusted my instructors opinion that an unfortunate Vietnamese boy drowned there and there was an investigation. So, as it stood, I got in a boat at an ungodly hour (7 something... these people are savages I tells ya) and went out to the dive site. I had my instructor AND a second instructor learning/assessing him and the school's approach. So I kinda guessed I had landed one of the very good teachers at that point and the gods decided I
get two instructors, two quality human beings as instructors, whereas other people have told me they got like 1/8th essentially. That situation would've been impossible for me to complete such a course I think. The second instructor is also English, I quite like her, here with her really friendly super intense eyes husband in a twist of fate for them both- intended to teach english but got stranded with Visas somehow with a whole bunch of folke and now are earning as divers.
So early on in the course, we went down to about 3-4m. Which is nothing. But it is something when you not ever been there. And once more, I proved I am not only well capable of learning just about anything, I am well capable of learning it the wrong way. The exercise was to remove the regulator (breathing aparatus) and then replace it, expelling the water with a burst of breath or the button on the front. I, genius, skipped this vital step as it is beneath me and sucked in a whole bunch of water into my lungs. Not really sure what happened then but I think Fergus or Ruth pressed the mask button
Vietnamese girls
I didnt want to smilefor me so I could actually breathe or I had already managed to drink all the water left in the regulator lung-style.
That was well scary.
I wanted to go up, and kept indicating the thumbs up (not "OK" in diving but "Ascend") but the Fergus calmed me down with motions of slow breathing. He demonstrated again eventually and I completed the task. I had other inhaling water troubles with a task removing water stuck in the mask and ended up calling it a day when I was retching on the surface. At least was the surface. Apparently it attracts fish. What an epic photo that would make- sunlit streamed diver from beneath with a trajectory of (probably carrot-based... its always carrot based) vomit and the colourful little fish having a feast. Not too fun a first dive and I felt a right fool besides but hey, it is a common enough state for me so kinda comforting in its awfulness. We went back to the dive centre and finally paid my course money-partly to provide financial incentive to not back out from fear. More theory that afternoon (guess what? I paid a lot more attention 😊) and
then did fair well on the exam.
The next day we got to the dive site and got kitted up. On the surface I was breathing through my regulator and there was not a great deal of airflow. I began to feel panic again and the continual poor air just compounded my fear. I even thought maybe I should just go back to the boat and quit- even though i couldnt really be any safer what with 10+ people specialised in saving people that run into trouble underwater nearby. I am not proud of these feelings and thoughts but they were there certainly. But I found a dial on the regulator and increased the flow and felt a lot better about descending now that I could actually draw proper breaths.
I did ok on the skills that day and once I nailed the two that had caused me trouble I was well confident enough to continue. Eventually made a 12m dive and even got to enjoy some aquatic life instead of look at the world through my corridor of fear. My most excellent instructor Fergus even played with a Lion Fish, gently provoking it to flare out its poisonous drapery and also mucked about with clown fish- what responded in an perceivably playful puppy like manner (although what the fish actually thinks is entirely unknown). There was Christmas tree worms what sucked back into the rock as soon as they were approached. Very alien. Also played tic tac toe in the sand with Ruth whilst waiting for Fergus to return after he fixed the pressure in his ear with alcohol.
My leg began cramping often. I wasn't used to this alien concept of "ex-uhh-syze" (I hope I pronounced that right). It was storming when we hit the surface. We got back onto the boat and Fergus had argued with the captain who refused to take the boat to a dive site that would've allowed me to continue the program- instead going to one where there was no good place under 12m to practice within. During this heated exchange I thought it best to not say I wasn't really interested in continuing today what with a headache and cramps and fortunately it worked out that we didnt change course on (not) my behalf.
I scooted around the boat talking rubbish with people. One frenchie told me of a beautiful vietnamese minority (?) belief that when a whale beaches itself, the belief is that it is the souls of the fishermen lost at sea, returning to their loved ones. Apparently they bury the carcass, dig up the bones after five years, and turn it into a temple/shrine to honour the dead. Poetically moving, so I don't really want to find out if its really true- just accept it is and be happier for it 😊
Went for a walk and got a massage focusing on my legs. Didn't really help but electrolyte drink did. Played enjoyable chess with a Swede and lost a whole 50k dong in poker. Played a playful Vietnamese girl for bottle caps instead and was utterly magnanimous in victory what made her hit me and tell me how much she hates me. I laughed and proceeded to fantasise how I could spend all these bottle caps in a post apocalyptic environment a la fallout.
The last day of training was quite enjoyable. I breathed calmly and moved with greater control. Dives and skills- repeats of previous skills but at deeper depths. The coral was just as fascinating and varied as the more meaty life. My goggles weren't even foggy so I could actually see it in all it's otherworldly glory. Yeah diving is a pretty damn interesting experience. In saw many of the fish from previous times but also some coral that looked like a brain, and one that looked like a crib for a mer-childe. The last skills and dive involved navigation. I took us back to the boat from the surface (more or less- there was a current creating problems) and Fergus shook my hand again, this encouraging and reassuring handshake being a constant and welcome component of the course- every time a task is completed the OK? OK sequence and handshake is completed. He then congratulated me as a certified open water diver. Others congratulated me on the boat and as I said to someone later- I think it is one of the first things I really had to work hard for and earn in a long time, probably only one of half a dozen things I can think of ever that were difficult for me but possible and completed.
I left the dive centre with a possibility of returning for a beer by the invite of several different people. Some super nice folk some with the definite tinge of douchebag marking some of the others. Whaddya expect though? People right? Be a definitely strange breed that industry I suspect.
Left the place via motor cycle tour offered by one of the more enterprising Vietnamese divers I had shared shelter, smoke, and stories with yesterday. Jack be his name- we went to see big Buddhas, a church, and an aquarium of sorts- only a little depressing by these kinds of things standards- more or less I only felt pity for the two seals what were slumped into their tiny confine. We played pool afterwards and Jack corrected my technique by suggesting I get lower- made enough of a difference that I won 2 of 3. He was a bit of a naughty boy that Jack and we had a good chuckle over inappropriate topics. He recently became a father and was well impressed by his sons... errrmmm... size amongst other things. Had Pho and off I go (doesn't really work phonetically as its pronounced "fah") on another self losing walk through "the real Vietnam".
Several kilometres, "hellos" and a taxi ride back, i returned to the bar and taught a girl UNO. Played a few games with people- chess again but I was not really sober enough to play anything but simple. I also talked to an older Australian what seemed a bit on the rough side of life but he was interesting and knowledgable about the plants and animals introduced to Australia that really pissed him off over the years. Happy when he's angry kinda dude. I can only be around people like that for so long.
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leadfoot
non-member comment
Dear Monkey - some points - 1. "a nice Vietnamese girl who I had a bit of a good conversation with" should be - a nice Vietnamese girl with whom I had a bit of a good conversation. Never use a preposition to end a sentence up with. (a bit of pedantic humour going on here) 2. Don't play poker for money EVER - I haven't taught you anything worthwhile. 3. If you completed the course (even to 12 m), you should have received a dive certificate which is good for anywhere in the world - otherwise you have to repeat the whole thing again AND pay for it elsewhere. 4. There's a possibility that your leg is the result of bad decompression or crap in the tanks. Since I have no knowledge of either at this stage, keep this in mind. Here endeth the lesson - carry on with the enjoyment!