Amazing Caretakers

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Amazing Caretakers
A long overdue blog from Vietnam: September 2011

So the only person I've ever really taken care of is myself, and that's certainly no easy job. Sure, I'm physically healthy, but there's still a lot that goes into proper care of a human. There's a lot of nurture and commitment required, if you want to do it right. But what if I was responsible for me AND someone else?? Now that's a job, and I take my hat off to anyone who is in this role. The parents, children, wives, husbands, grandparents, brothers, sisters, friends, nurses, teachers and strangers who have taken care of another precious soul. This blog is dedicated to you.

CARETAKER MISS THINH

Thinh is 6 years old. She slowly enjoys her ice-cream sundae alongside me and Karen, as we suck down our iced coffees at a cafe across the street from the workshop. The bright pink swirls in her sundae (no idea what flavor that is) match her dress perfectly. You wouldn't think she is any different than another 6 year old Vietnamese girl, but Thinh has an extraordinary job. She is the caretaker for her mother, Hoa, who has polio. What a big job for a little girl! At 6 years old my priority was organizing my Barbie doll house. Yet I don't see any trace of burden in Thinh's eyes. Her aura exudes happiness and pleasant content. She is one very well behaved young lady and probably the only child allowed in the workshop at any time.

Back at home it's just Thinh, Hoa and their elderly grandmother. The financial income and responsibility lies on Hoa alone, having both a mother and daughter to support, life can be a struggle. The other day Hoa was riding down the road on her "3-wheel motorbike" (motorcycle for disabled), Little Thinh was on board. They stopped at the market, little Thinh jumped out and not long after Thinh returns with groceries in hand, hops back on with mom and they drive off. Thinh is responsible for the food shopping, she is also responsible to do all the washing (by hand that is), and she helps make all the meals. Although mom wants her away from the stove, too high and hot for Thinh! She also watches over their small shop, and helps with sales Thinh loves arts and crafts and likes to spend much time drawing. She sits next to mom as she makes her bookmarks, lanterns or cut cards. At the workshop, Hoa and Tinh are a gentle and graceful presence. I know I shouldn't play favorites with the members of the workshop, but I can't help to have fallen love with these 2 special ladies.

Read Thinh's story by Karen

Memory Portrait of Hoa and Thinh by Lynn Latona

CARETAKER MR. TUNG

I pull up on my bike and wheeling beside me is Tung. I'm sure I weigh more than him, his long gangly arms pushing his own wheelchair to get him to the workshop. I hope off the bike to help him. NO, no no, I'm fine he responds in hand gestures (such a guy). Perhaps I've offended him to offer the help. But he does give me a smile. We get into the workshop, I've only seen Tung a few times, and that was at his village home a few years back. He looked healthier then. I even had to ask Karen if this was the same person, because his face has shrunk into his skull. He looks incredibly weak and I know he must be depressed, eyes speak volumes as windows to the soul, even through a smile. Tung and I are the same age, 37 years old. But when Tung was 25, he fell off a ladder and broke his back. He is paraplegic, (waste down paralyzed). He lives at home with his elderly and ill father. Tung is responsible for not only himself, but dad too. This means the cooking, cleaning AND financial income. I can't imagine being disabled and having the challenge of being caretaker for both myself and another–in VIETNAM. The workshop has given Tung a simple job of "button rings". These are tasteful rings that are sewn together from recycled buttons. Tung is weak so this is the perfect job, with little physical effort Tung can create these rings. He does need supervision (not the neatest person), so he comes to the workshop to make them. This is a four hour ride from his village. He comes once every few months and makes his rings all day, hoping that the sales will be enough income to last him and dad for the week. If you got a button ring for Christmas from me this year, you'll know where it came from. Please wear the ring knowing that it supplied a little income and sense of independence for a very special person.

Read Tung's Story by Karen

AMAZING CARETAKER MR. TUAN

I liked Tuan right away, before I even knew his story. I liked that he winked at me. He winked in a way my pop pop Jara used to wink at me–a wink and a smirk, kinda like saying "I know what your up to", even though i'm not up to anything (or was I??). I love the people I've met around the world who can communicate so well without any words. Kids are best at it. Most adults become word-reliant which can become incredibly drab for us right-brained people.

I originally met Tuan and his sister Chi 3 years ago, but just briefly. Tuan is now 30 and Chi is 24. But when Chi was 18, she fell down the mountainside and broke her neck and was bound to beds and wheelchairs. Tuan slept for 3 years under Chi's hospital bed during her partial recovery, immediately becoming her full-time caretaker (only other member in their immediate family is their elderly mother). Tuan takes great care of his little sister. He does it all, bathes her, feeds her, LOVES her. He gave up his life at 27 years old to be a full-time caretaker. He not only gave up his social life, but also his full time job so he could provide her with the care and attention she needed. To make ends meet Chi and Tuan wrote letters to buddhist temples requesting donations. They lived off these funds for the past 3 years. Karen and I have talked often about what could be done to help. With the new Lifestart disability center opening, Karen has recently asked Tuan to move to Hoi An, and work full-time as a physical therapist (trained by the Western volunteers) Chi has recently been analyzed by western doctors, and it's believed that with a lot of hard work, it is possible she will walk again. The Lifestart plan is employing Tuan with a full time job in Hoi An, where he can live with his sister. There she can rehabilitate, and become a member of the workshop, to have her own sustainable income. Eventually we hope for Tuan and Chi to have a physically and mentally satisfying life.



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