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Published: February 28th 2007
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Pho Vender Heading Home
Pho, noodle soup, is a staple for breakfast but can be found any time of day. They set up shop anywhere on the sidewalk as the business is transportable. Everyday they bring folding tables, stools, pots, veggies, noodles, extra sauces, bowls, chopsticks, spoons - everything! NEED VISA! QUICK!
Our first order of business in Hanoi was to get our visa extended. We had tried earlier in Hue to get it done but government workers were hard to come by over the Tet holidays. So with only two days left before our visa expired, and rumors of outrageous fines for an expired visa we had to act fast. And who could get it done faster than ourselves…
no one! So we embarked on a mission to get a visa extension all by ourselves by first visiting the Immigration Police office. We made it there with no hassels, but apparently they don’t do visa extensions, we had to go to a different
tourist visa office three blocks away. We gave our moto driver the map to the new location and 20 seconds later arrived at an office that looked nothing close to a government shop. There were computers…amongst the beer cans and vodka bottles covering the table. To top it off the three "employees" standing around spoke minimal English and instead opted to phone a friend for us to speak to. Their friend spoke basic English but it was difficult to hear her with all the zooming
bikes and horns in the background. I guess she was tardy getting to work after a late night of boozing. We gathered that we needed to have a form stamped by our hotel and then bring it back and then they could do the visa in
five business days. Well, that sucked. Not only would it cost us more to pay a moto to get to and from this office again, but five days was way too long.
We went back feeling defeated and highly stressed, time and options were running out. Trying to be a "do-it-yourselfer" just wasn't paying off! We moved on to Plan B: to look for a reputable tourist agent that could complete the task for us. With commission money on top of the visa cost to grease the government’s wheels we got our visa extension completed in just two days. It's obvious we're still low on the learning curve of how to get things done the communist way.
Beer for Our Brothers
To calm our nerves we headed to a nearby corner shop selling kegs of Bia Hoi, the cheapest and freshest beer in the world, and settled in for the afternoon. We
First Sips
I snuck a pic of Jarrod were soon joined by a delightful old man who sat there sipping and chain smoking. With travelers sign language we learned that he was 76 and explained that we were married, no kids and our respective ages: 26 & 29. Not long after another fellow joined the conversation. He looked much younger than his 50 years but with his addition the boys were like three generations of family enjoying a drink together. And as usual, the elders knocked off early and Jarrod kept on drinking, pausing only to eat a donair at the shop next door.
"Massage?"
Later that night continuing with the relaxation theme, we decided to get foot massages from the parlor situated in the back of our hotel. We agreed upon a price and I was lead to a back room. Something seemed a bit fishy when the room had a shower and giant wall mirrors hanging at massage table height. My masseuse was a cute Vietnamese girl about 20 years old in a short white skort just covering her bum and a semi-sheer white top that revealed her lacy bra beneath. Yes, getting fishier by the minute. She climbed onto the massage table sitting between
Last Sip
Five beer later and he's a bit tipsy! my legs and placed my legs overtop and around hers. Different technique, but effective. Things were hunky-dory until she stopped rubbing. I opened my eyes to find her closely inspecting my prickly leg hair. Ok, ok, it’s been a while since I shaved but do you have to point it out! I gave a little laugh to break the ice and feeling a bit self-conscious I closed my eyes again thought about butterflies and fairies and the massage continued. After 45 minutes (I paid for a hour) the massage was over and it ended up 98%!f(MISSING)ocused on my legs and not my achy feet!
Jarrod’s experience was a little more colourful. In a similar room his identically dressed masseuse encouraged him to strip off his shirt and shorts. He hesitantly obliged. Climbing on the table she started at his feet and then legs. Fifteen minutes had passed when she pointed to his privates and asked excitedly, "Massage?"
It's been confirmed. This
is a dodgy place! Jarrod says he denied the offer and I didn't hear the shower running afterwards so I'm taking his word for it. Forty-five minutes later his full body massage was over and Jarrod's masseuse
Our Drinking Family
Jarrod, 29, Grandpa, 76, and Father, 50. Three generations of drinkers! They didn't speak much english but they were fun for a hour or two persistently asked for a tip patting down his cargo pockets and pinching at his bum pockets in search of a wallet. Well, darling, you didn't do anything "special" so why the tip! No such luck!
Upon further investigation into the massage market of Hanoi it turns out we were simply naive. At least half of the massage parlors around offer special services in their day-to-day operations and tips end up being the main source of income for the girls. Now that we're better informed we've been able to keep our name off the appointment book. And, now that we know we find it quite entertaining to scrutinize the primarily male Vietnamese customers coming and going from the parlor in the back.
While spending time on the Internet late at night we've also noticed a subtle change in the clientele of the hotel. Around 10pm girls dressed in tight animal print outfits and skinny heels claim a key and head upstairs with only a small make-up bag in hand.
Hhhmmmm. Could this be the reason we had to wait for our room to be cleaned when we checked-in at 6am? In conclusion we’re staying in a slightly shady hotel
but its got satellite TV, free and fast Internet and hot water. As long as we close our doors at night no unexpected visitors should come knocking.
Happy Wanderer's
After three days of wandering the streets of the Old Quarter I still had no sense of direction. All the small, busy roads looked the same yet slightly different. Thankfully Jarrod knew where he was going and I simply followed like a lost puppy from one place to the next.
Next Stop: Two hours south to Ninh Binh and Tam Coc
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Tahna
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Whooeee 26 and 29 hey? Didn't know you were getting THAT old! haha