A Coast With No Sea

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When I awoke this morning, it was still raining torrentially, so I figured I would wait out the storm and get some coffee whilst exploring the town. There really wasn't much to see here, just a little stop over town. I waited till about 1.30 when the rain had abated a little, then headed off for Hai Phong, which I mistakenly thought would be a nice seaside town because of its proximity to Halong Bay, and because the map showed it to be right on the coast. So about 5km from 'Haiphong', according to the roadside markers, I stopped to have a coffee and to get the water out of all my luggage. When I was sitting outside the cafe, minding my own business and drinking my coffee, a beautiful girl walked up to me and without saying a word, made a very suggestive hand gesture and pointed to the room at the back of the cafe. I declined her offer and then a whole harem arrived all trying to entice me into the filthy back room of the cafe. They then realised I wasn't going anywhere with them and started to have a craic, grabbing my man boobs and lifting up my t-shirt to see my beer belly. I hurriedly drank my coffee and set back off for the beach. Soon, I was riding through 'The Leven of the East' with ship building yards and docklands everywhere. Still I could not see the ocean, something which I have been waiting for for a long time.

I stopped at a beer hoi place 5 miles after the signs indicated I had entered Haiphong, and asked the proprieter where was Haiphong? Where was the sea? and he replied by pointing down the road, in the same direction I had been heading for a while. He assured me it wasn't far, but it was getting dark and the big man had turned on the taps again. I was soaked through. I rode for about another 10km's, again following my watch compass on a direct bearing east. I then started stopping in every beer hoi place I arrived at just to get some respite from the rain and to boost my spirits with a cheeky wee beer. No matter how far east I went, I couldn't find the see, which was by this point really starting to bemuse me. I eventually gave up, and instead decided to stay in the next hotel I could find. I found one just as my spedometer read 87km. So much for a 30km cycle to the sea! I still haven't seen the sea so I will hopefully encounter it tomorrow on my way to Halong Bay.

After checking in, I lay in bed and watched cable TV which was pumping out Aussie programs made by FOXTEL. They were utter rubbish, in the vein of reality TV shows and I cringed to think that I used to make a good living selling this crap to people. I am sure I am going to hell for that!!! As I lay in bed I was in so much pain in my chest and back, a hangover from the bufallo crash. It's fine during the day when I'm riding but when I lie down it kills me. I hope I haven't seriously hurt myself.

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